To be angry with DH for not coming home?

So imagine him filming a drama about hospital and him missing his own child's real admission

He's just sleeping with his boss or a money worshipper. I'm not a fab of Hollywood or many movies for that matter. Anyway , crazy , weird, bizarre

I suspect the reason he's refusing to call or text/facetime is because he doesn't want to be pressured or gulited into coming home. He is checking out and pretending his family doesn't exist until his return.

The refusal to at least communicate would end the relationship for me and that's the only update I would be giving him.

Ding Ding Ding.
Finally someone has said it.
This is exactly how I picture this whole scenario.

She’s not nagging and being irrational, her daughter is in hospital and her husband couldn’t give less of a shit if he tried!

He's probably doesn't want to be nagged and to get stressed out. I said it before, it doesn't excuse it but when it comes to men ive noticed that in general if they have a wife that is nagging and being irrational what usually happens is that the men start to either act irrational back or step back from their wives and families.
It doesn't make it right (he should facetime imo) but both men and women need to start understanding eachother more. Women (not all) need to understand to stop being so emotional and resenting and being jealous of their husbands jobs and the fact that unfortunately most of the childcare will fall on women due to nature (thats a whole other debate) and societies gender roles even when both parties work, and men need to know how to communicate and say "wife you are stressing me out right now and i cant take it,I have anxiety and you are making it worse, i love you but you but you are doing my head in etc"

Actually one more thing I think you should do is tell everyone you know about how your DH was far too busy and important to call his own kid when she was sick in hospital. He needs a good talking to. Don’t protect him.

I wholly don’t support what he’s doing at all. He’s a massive shit and needs to get his head out his arse and support his wife and daughter. Mr Big Shot Hollywood needs to get his priorities right, even if he cannot leave set (which he can’t, and she should know this and understand it), he can still support from afar. He’s important in his role, yes, and a lot of people and investors depending on him, yes, but he’s still a husband and father. I feel for OP and her little girl and hope she’s well again soon.

Out of interest unless his phone has been confiscated or he is under 24/7 scrutiby by someone who for some reason wants to stop him contacting his family what realistic reason could there be for him not to be able to reply to messages or phone his daughter?

I literally can't think of one

He can change the level of communication.

I get why he is coming home but to hide away in his work is nothing short of selfish. If he can’t support at least via messages I would be questioning the future of the relationship.

nobody is so busy they can’t spend 10 minutes on FaceTime and send the odd message during the day

Op he's wrong but don't you see that you are stressing the hell out of him. This is why he is pulling back from you. This is why he is doing this. Because you keep pestering and badgering him with something that he cannot change

Sorry OP but something here is dodgy as fuck.

Very odd indeed.

@Hadmysay it's not that she can't cope, but she has had to leave her work (as the higher earner) and give her other child to someone outside the family to look after.

@Outside9 what do you mean it is not life or death. Most hospitals expect parents of young children to stay with their child

Nice husband and father…..

But he isn’t ’the provider’ if she earns more than him…..

I havd changed my mind more than once on this thread due to drip feeding of information. Do I think he should come home, no given his job and the difficulties it will cause. Do I think he should be in regular contact with his daughters, yes of course he should.
@Coffeeoftheworld has given very little information about their relationship in general and how as parents they normally manage their daughters illness. Will probably change my mind again with the next update.

How so, is a directors salary the most that any person in the world can earn?
Why can't the OP earn more than her husband?

Difference is she's in the uk he's across the other side of the world.
She can cope. She's a mother. And an adult.

There's no way DH can be the first director on a Hollywood production and earn less than OP does, so he must be a much lower level AD in which case the production can cope without him / easily replace him.

I'm a cynical person but something just isn't stacking up here. Not sure whether it OP or DP or both. It's all just a bit odd.

I really don't understand why any decent, concerned father wouldn't move hell and high water to FaceTime his sick child - even if he was in the middle of a career defining project.

But I'm also presuming he's not some A list Hollywood director who might have more manoeuvering power but also huge responsibility for the production? Are we're talking first AD, 2nd, 3rd? Obviously, further down the food chain he'll have less power to negotiate his hours and film sets can be incredibly pressurized working environments where you are just expected to suck up the ridiculous hours and conditions. But on the other hand, if he is in a more junior role, the production is unlikely to fall apart without him and he should be able to grab an hour for a chat with his child. All a bit odd 🤷

This is why we need to have an honest conversation about the pros and cons of marrying provider men (ironically the same men that many women strive to marry) and the affects of the capitalist society has on the family dynamic.
And whether having 2 parents going Gung ho as "career men and women" benefits the children.
I encourage people to watch this video.

So there we have it.
It seems like this is more to do with jealousy and resentment than logic.
I could see It from a mile off.

It's not life or death.