To be angry with DH for not coming home?

Are you SURE he is in Australia?
Why will he answer an audio call but not FaceTime?
This all sounds very shady OP and I would be changing the locks on any bastard who refused to FaceTime his own child in hospital whilst 'abroad'.

It’s odd that he won’t FaceTime, but he will take a voice call.

Are you sure that he:

• has definitely gone to Australia
• is working with colleagues
• is staying alone

That is very bizarre tbh. It's one thing if he can't physically be here but to not want even video call? That's insensitive to another level and I would have a serious discussion about his commitment to his family when he is back.

Ive read all your updates and this sounds very odd. The fact he won’t communicate with you on camera, the fact he’s being so selfish and shutting you down etc etc. I’m sorry but it all screams affair. Yes he’s at work but could he also be meeting a colleague out there?
Focus on your daughter and yourself but seriously consider checking the family finances and your position as when he’s back a serious conversation is definitely in order.
Let’s face it most parents, dad or mum, would hate the idea of a child sick in hospital and would want to be there. The fact it isn’t life threatening doesn’t matter. I wonder if he’s even told his boss and colleagues as if someone I worked with (also good job) disclosed their 7 year old daughter was back at home country in hospital and they wanted to keep working Id be really surprised and tbh have serious doubts what sort of man or woman they were to prioritise work over family. But I do suspect there will be OW here if this is behaviour change!

I wouldn’t expect my husband home if not life threatening but the face time
is definitely out of order. He needs to rest 😡 . Surely if it’s the middle of the night for him he can set an alarm, face time and then go back to sleep. Sounds like his boss would understand this at the very least. The not face timing things rings alarm bells. As others say I would go no contact and concentrate your time on your both your daughters if he does text/call you.

Yeah, he’s hiding something isn’t he. He’s either not there, there with someone or similar

I'd be telling him not to bother coming back from his work trip.
Seriously, your child will be in hospital for a week and he can't even be bothered to get up in the night to FaceTime her UK time?
Sorry but he is NOT a father.

Classic MN. Must be something “dodgy”. He’s having an affair is the answer to everything
on here. Even if he was having an affair, it wouldn’t stop him from FaceTiming or calling once in a while would it.

I don’t know, rather than cheating my first thought is he’s a typical man who puts his head in the sand when problems come along and wants to pretend it isn’t happening.

Well something dodgy is going on, isn’t it? Affair out there?

The fact he needs to "rest" rather than facetime his sick daughter tells you all you need to know. How selfish of him 😡

The not coming home I can sort of understand, but wow not FaceTiming his poorly child is appalling.
I’m afraid it would be the end for me treating my DD like that.

He’s an utterly selfish man and shit dad

He would be coming home to divorce papers if I was married to him.

At the very least he should want to come home and to be in regular contact every day to FaceTime with your daughter. It's outrageous that he won't FaceTime her. I can understand if he couldn't come home - though I'd expect his boss to agree to him coming home - but the desire to be there, to talk to you all, to care for you all, should be there and it just isn't.

I couldn't get past that.

I don’t think we’re quite getting the full picture from OP. I can only presume the chronic condition and hospital stays are something that are now well known and commonplace to the family and the DHs supposed indifference is mainly due to having seen this before many times. So business as usual for him.
Would still expect a FaceTime or calls to his kids, but then I would expect them anyway even without an illness and hospital stay? So still a bit odd.

This does not add up at all. What father does this? I don’t care how tired he is, I would be on the phone constantly wanting updates, you just do it if one of your children is admitted to hospital. Is he staying in a hotel OP? If so then I would phone the hotel and ask to be put through to his room.

I’d be pissed off at the refusal to FaceTime because that’s selfish.

But admits a chronic condition I’m guessing you made the decision to have jobs that take you abroad knowing her health is risky so would understand why he isn’t rushing home.

I would expect him to be flexible with that changing if the prognosis changes though.

As she's also got a three year old that she has had to ask a friend to look after and OP has had to tell her boss that she can't come into work, it's hardly 'incredibly unreasonable' for her to ask whether it is possible for him to fly back. His daughter is asking for him, and OP has said that the reason for her hospital admission is serious, even if it is related to an existing chronic condition.

His refusal to Face Time his poorly daughter is unbelievably shit.

If my husband didn’t leave whatever he was doing to join me in one of the children’s medical emergencies I would divorce him . No 2 ways about it . If he was to become ill I would be by his side , and I expect the same from him towards myself and the children .

I have experience with children with life threatening chronic and acute conditions and I have to say that where “flare ups” or significant changes, or whatever terminology is relevant in particular circumstances, are stable, non-life threatening and no immediate decisions must be made, I wouldn’t expect someone to travel that distance, particularly when the child is expected to be out of hospital within a week. Seems a bit odd that he doesn’t want to speak to his child, though you didn’t mention that in your first post. Was that his only reason?

Unless he’s working 18 hour shifts down an opal mine that is appalling. Has he been to Australia with work before?

I think your husband is wrong to not make the effort for a phone call or FaceTime but, given the details you’ve given of your daughter’s condition, I think you’re being incredibly unreasonable expecting him to come back from Australia.

The not coming back from Oz I can sort of understand, if he's of the belief that your DD will be out soon and nothing would really change by him being present. BUT, there is absolutely no excuse he can't call/face time. The time difference is only as much of an issue as he wants to make it. I don't think I could get past him placing his beauty sleep above the needs of his sick child and frantically worried and stressed wife needing to speak to him. What is he like when he is home? Does he help with the kids, meaningfully engage with family life etc?

Ok this is utterly woeful. I would be furious about this aspect in particular. Does he not even want to support her / you??

I'm in agreement with pps, OP - it's one thing not to travel, but he could at least face time her. That seems really off.