To be angry with DH for not coming home?

@CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone when your young chikd is unwell in hospital, you just swallow tge cost of the roaming charges.
Thats assuming he doesn’t have wifi in his hotel or at work (yes even if it means arriving earlier than he ‘should’). Which is EXTREMELY unlikely

You know you can do WhatsApp video, don't you?

At the very least, he should offer to cover half of the time off needed.
Because needing to be with your dd2 won’t stop when she is back home. She is unlikely to be able to go to nursery/CM in a week…..

As for being unable to do FaceTime… bollocks sorry. (I’ve grown up overseas - similar time difference - and then moved back to Europe for Uni. I can tell you when you want to, you can ring agd talk to people, even with 12 hours dufference)

There is something very strange about the refusal to FaceTime with a child who is asking for him. One day/night being unavailable due to all day meetings and maybe a compulsory social event etc but not a total refusal due to ‘tiredness’. Personally I’d struggle to be able to relax or sleep if I knew I had a child in hospital wanting to speak to me. It’s very difficult to understand his position on this.

So many places in Australia offer free WiFi, mc Donald's used to and there's no shortage of maccas over there

The fact he won’t FaceTime his own sick child is horrifying tbh.

Also your other child is with your best friend now that’s lovely of her, but she should be with her dad. Her mum and sister are in hospital and her dads on the other side of the world and cnba to come look after her either.

So cnba to talk to sick child.
cnba to take turns with wife looking after sick child
cnba to be there and comfort his other child who will be worried that basically her whole family has disappeared.

At best his a fucking idiot who’s so selfish he doesn’t deserve a wife and children

or his living some double life / affair.

Don’t bloody warn him if you are going to serve him papers, btw. He will fuck you over financially. In the meantime, start transferring money over, buy extra supermarket vouchers and gift cards for yourself and get birth/marriage certs, passports, mortgage docs/credit cards/loans/pensions/subscriptions/bills docs out of the house and store them at a trusted friend’s place.

Something very wrong if he won't even facetime. Sorry you have to deal with him as well as everything else. I would never forgive him for his selfishness.

Voice calls consume little bandwidth.
Video calls consume a lot.

Kinda depends on whether he is allowed to use WiFi in Australia. I know my roaming charges are very expensive outside of Europe.

And if he's working with a business phone, then there may be rules about how much of a bill you can run up

If our kids had a cold or for no reason DH would be face timing from Aus to chat or cheer them up if they needed it. What a knob your DH seems to be. Too tired to talk to her? Ridiculous.
Your little one will remember this which is very sad. Don’t bad mouth him to her though. Bring in extra treats.
Message him and ask specifically why he won’t answer her requests to chat to him.
How were things between you before he went away?

"Resting" my arse....

I wouldn't ever forgive this. Not coming back, fine but not supporting you and not talking to the DC, unforgivable.

OP he's literally giving you and your DD the bare minimum at the moment which must raise the question of why he's doing this

I'd be delving a little deeper if I were you as things aren't adding up

No one works this hard and can't take time to speak to his wife and sick daughter. I think i would text him to tell him you are about to start divorce proceedings and ask if he wants the papers served by text. I wonder what his boss thinks of his behaviour? Is she in Australia with him? Something smells off.

The refusing to call or FaceTime would have him slapped with divorce papers if it were me. I would be deeply suspicious about his sleeping arrangements atm.

I think I would go down this route too! Also makes his boss aware of the situation of everything is above board and he's just a selfish pig

I think, given that it’s part of an ongoing condition for your daughter, it’s not hugely unreasonable to not come home from Australia. It’s MASSIVELY unreasonable for your DH to not even manage a FaceTime though. The whole attitude from him sounds like he’s completely checked out, you’re out of sight, so out of his mind. He absolutely could make time for a call / FaceTime for his 7 yr old DD. He just can’t be arsed.

I’d call his boss myself. He doesn’t get to not be a father. To not even want to see her over FaceTime is shitty and shameful.

I voted YABU because your daughter has a parent with her in hospital and your other daughter is being looked after by your best friend. It's for a chronic illness, she hasn't suddenly had an horrific accident and about to die and he's on the other side of the world!

The only issue I see here is that he really should be making an effort to FaceTime his DD during his rest time. That's the only not ok thing here.

I do think you're unreasonable for expecting his company to spend thousands of pounds bringing him home early, and for being angry at him and expecting him to abandon the work reason that's keeping him out there for three weeks.

As long as your child has one parent with her, that means she's being well supported.

My newborn was admitted to hospital for a week (not life-threatening) and my husband at the time worked away Mon-Fri across the country. It never occurred to me to demand he come back to sit with us in the hospital. It wouldn't have made her better.

I get that your daughter is asking to see her daddy, but as her mother you just need to explain again that he's the other side of the world for work and it's not possible for him to come back, and that she will see him as soon as he gets back.

I'm unsure on the coming home part although personally I'd be dropping everything to rush back and see my child if it were me in this scenario but I think the not face timing is disgusting. His child is in hospital and asking for him, he can put up with being a bit tired to call her at a reasonable time.

So sorry you're going through this OP I don't think I'd ever be able to look at him the same way again

To be honest, and Im not a LTB poster, but this would be unforgivable in my marriage.

There is nothing that would stop either myself or my DH from getting the first plane home. For him not to even spoken to his boss about it, or regularly facetime his DD whilst he is refusing to come home, especially when she's asking for him, is not something I could ever get over.

He is showing you right now who he is - he prioritises his work over his family. And I could never forgive that.

This is far more bizarre and concerning than refusing to fly home

THIS

I'm guessing he just doesn't want to lose his job and if you're there to look after dd, she doesn't need both of you off work and losing money and risking getting sacked for taking too much time off work. I'm sure it's hard but your dd has you there with her and she's old enough to understand "dad is away with his job" and will be back soon.

if it’s a chronic illness and she’s prone to admissions then j wouldn’t expect him to rush back sorry: you said it’s not life threatening so just a flare of whatever she has. I have a chronic condition and wouldn’t expect my parents to forever drop work and be there: she has you she’ll be fine. He does however need to FaceTime her and not be so selfish.

That's what I was thinking 🤔