To be angry with DH for not coming home?

I only ask because some parent (most of the time dads) sometimes find it hard to come to terms with these conditions. And they start being less and less interested etc and then they eventually peace out…my sister’s child has one of these conditions and her marriage ended abruptly when her child was 5. She was shocked but I saw it coming. Her DH was being unfaithful and never came to terms with the diagnosis as saw it as a failing of sorts. just wondering if you DH never came to terms with your dd diagnosis and if there’s any counselling or support you could access through any charities etc

I wouldn’t expect him to come back for something that’s not life threatening.

But I absolutely would expect him to FaceTime.

If my DP said he couldn’t call his sick child because he was ‘resting’ then the relationship would be over.

He is supposed to want to speak to his child, regardless of whether they are poorly or not. It shouldn’t be a chore.

My ex was on the next flight home from South East Asia where he was working when I messaged to say our then 12yr old DD was having a blood transfusion. Probably wasn’t necessary but they suspected sepsis at first and he lost his dad to that. He is currently overseas again (but much closer) and i’m sure he wouldn’t hesitate to drop everything and he has a high profile role. Your DH is an idiot.

He needs to rest?

When do YOU get a rest?!

I'm furious with the guy and I don't even know him! Not even calling your DD is awful.

OP is your daughter type 1 diabetic or has cystic fibrosis ????

I’m sure OP could (and is) coping without FaceTime but saying it wasn’t always around irrelevant as it IS available now but the DH is choosing to not use. It’s very strange behaviour and I feel rather suspicious. My DH goes away for
work and sometimes we don’t even call if both busy and kids busy but damn straight he’d be answering a FaceTime call if I needed support as our child was in hospital (not to mention FaceTiming the child so they can see their dad). It’s odd he won’t give you or DC 5 minutes.

does he travel to Australia often?

There's always background noise tho.... maybe he's being extra cautious, who knows but somethin' ain't right!

It wasn't that long ago that a Facetime call wouldn't even have been an option OP. You will be fine without a Facetime call - millions of people have managed before and you can manage now. He is making conventional telephone calls and keeping in contact by other means - that's fine.

He's also half way around the world and assuming he could get a seat on a flight tonight (without jeopardising his job) he still wouldn't be back for 24-36 hours. It's not like he can get home this evening.

He is of little practical help from where he is and it's shitty and stressful, but I don't think there's much that can be done. You need to think pragmatically and I know that's hard when you are worried about your child.

As for everyone saying he's not in Australia and that's why he won't facetime, how do you think OP would be able to tell the difference between a hotel room in Australia versus one in India or the US or Guatemala? It's daft, think it through for a moment.

Calm down dear

Oh....

Oh for goodness sake. This isn’t a film set in 1980s New York 🙄

It's not so much the coming home. I understand why he wouldn't, but talking to his daughter in hospital only once is shocking. A caring dad would want to speak every day, even if 10 mins. The being tired is such a pathetic excuse. 10, even just 5mns to ask how she is and that he is thinking of her is not tiring. What is wrong with him?

Have you got a close family member that can FT him to have a word? It'll be interesting if he messages back saying that he can't pick up to talk... and then they can ask why

My husband works away a fair bit - often with 9-12 hour time differences and really busy schedules and he tries very hard to FaceTime every day. We also have two daughters and if one of them was sick in hospital, depending on what the problem was, I would not be able to stop him coming home. I occasionally work away, last time I did, there was an 8 hour time difference and I confess I was tired and a bit disoriented, but in the week I was away I FaceTimed 3 times and was in touch every day. I relate this only to mention that I’ve been on both sides, but only on situations where everyone was well. If one of my girls was sick I’d be frantic on the phone wanting updates constantly!
Whilst I’m not sure it’s unreasonable not to come home (again depending on what’s wrong with your little one), it is ABSOLUTELY unreasonable for him not to even FaceTime the wee lamb. WTF is wrong with him? Has he expressed any kind of concern or interest? I’d not be able to forgive this tbh. It’s very weird.

YANBU. It's not only about your daughter but the support YOU need. And he's not supporting you, not even from afar.

Since you have another DD who is being cared for by a friend I would expect him to come back to look after other DD. I would also expect him to FaceTime with his children if he’s away for many weeks at a time regardless of whether a child was ill or not.

But, as a parent who is working away you would think that they'd want to FT their ill child and support their Spouse who's juggling everything in the UK

Very strange OP. Does he normally FaceTime? I can’t see why you wouldn’t unless he isn’t where he says he is?!

In those circumstances I wouldn’t necessarily expect him to rush back but I would expect him to care. I would have thought he’d have to come back to look after your other child? Can your friend have her for such a long time? I would step in if a friend asked but I would expect the Dad to cut his work trip short and come home.

Do you FaceTime as a family? We never do so it wouldn’t be unusual.

Why the refusal to FaceTime? It’s possible he’s off somewhere else entirely. Also possible that he does have some work time in austrialia but has tagged on an additional holiday and that’s where he is. There is some reason he is not showing his location.