To be angry with DH for not coming home?

Dh worked abroad the best part of 2 decades ago and we used Skype video chats pretty much daily.

If op's dh wanted to he would. Obvs with the exception of him being some kind of secret squirrel agent in a top secret secure location.

If was a serious life threatening condition then yes I’d expect everyone to run to the hospital from wherever they were. For a chronic illness flare up where they are getting treatment it might be different especially if a person is in Australia.
My dh travels a lot for work and when one of my dc had cancer I told him to carry on with his work and travel and I did the chemo and radiation and juggled the other dc because he is the main breadwinner and quite frankly I didn’t want to have to deal with major financial worries on top of everything else. Yes it was a serious medical condition but dc’s life wasn’t immediately in danger during treatment so we didn’t all have to be sitting there. He was there enough in between.

A friend manages to FT her mum either first thing in the morning or in the evening when she’s in Australia, it’s not difficult. I would assume he doesn’t want you to see him for some reason. I would definitely be saying you answer my ft or we’re done as I would feel he is hiding something. Hope your daughter is ok

It wasn't that long ago that a Facetime call wouldn't even have been an option OP. You will be fine without a Facetime call - millions of people have managed before and you can manage now. He is making conventional telephone calls and keeping in contact by other means - that's fine.

But FaceTime calls are an option now. And by the sounds of it he’s doing a piss poor job of communication at all.

You might imagine that a man that is refusing to come home from a trip would be doing his best to justify that decision with copious contact?

OP - he doesn’t seem to have any concern about your friend having to look after your younger child either?

@GerberasAreMyFavouriteFlowers - I’m not sure. It wouldn’t feel natural. DC went all through Uni in a city at the other side of the country where they still live. DH travels a lot for work. Both my parents have died in the past 2 years, 200 miles in a different direction. None of us thought of FT.

Is this the same dh that fucked off to Glastonbury earlier this year when their child was in hospital?

I can't understand why he won't video call you. Or come home tbh. Is he on some last ditch mission to save his job or something?

As others have said, I wouldn’t necessarily expect DH to fly straight back. It would depend on the circumstances e.g. if this was a really big opportunity that could significantly improve the family’s financial situation, then he should stay.

But the fact that he hasn’t even tried to think of coming home as an option is disappointing.

The fact that he refuses to FaceTime is deeply suspicious. Using Life360 to confirm his location doesn’t mean that’s all is innocent. There is only one reason that I can think of that he flat refuses to FaceTime his own child in hospital and that’s because he is doing something that he wants to keep secret. I’m sorry as I’m sure @Coffeeoftheworld that is the last thing you want to hear. I hope all goes well with your DD and that you are both back home very soon.

I agree.
Absolutely wild.
So you're imposing on friends to cover a husband that won't come home nor even face time his unwell child?
Wild.

Many younger children prefer a Facetime call rather than a standard phone call.
I imagine the Op's daughter might want to be able to see as well as speak to her father.

Given the Op is handling a child in hospital, her own work concerns and their other child, the husband could at the very least Facetime call his unwell kid.

No idea why anyone would make up excuses for that.

So who else is he with in Australia? A female colleague? I’d tell him he starts FaceTiming today or not to bother coming home and that his stuff will be out on the doorstep for him to collect when he gets back from his “work trip!!”

I'd changed the locks. What a selfish prick.

I would 100% expect my DH to come back immediately (and he would), not least to look
after his other child. Is she just supposed to stay with a friend most of the week whilst you juggle everything else? Does he not care about his children at all? Honestly, this is fucking wild to me. And a week is a long time in hospital for a child (for the pp who said it’s not a long admission).

@Coffeeoftheworld YABU to expect him to come back from Australia for something that isn't life-threatening, particularly as he's only been out there for a week out of the required three (I might feel differently if he'd been out there for 2.5 weeks). However, YAdefinitelyNBU to expect him to FaceTime with your DD and his excuse that he "needs to rest" is beyond lame. How much would it take out of him to speak with his DD for half an hour, say, every other day? This part of his behaviour I would find inexcusable and I'd be leaving him in no doubt as to how selfish and despicable his apparent carelessness is.

I would send him a message saying his daughter is seriously ill in hospital and wants the comfort of videocalling her father. And that if he is unwilling to give up even 15 minutes of his rest time to do this then there needs to be a serious discussion when he gets home about his priorities.

Then let him decide and I wouldn't entertain it further.

But as a family surely you will need to chat about how you will manage DD chronic condition if this could happen regularly. Surely you won't always be able to drop everything to be with her in hospital.
Do you also work full time? This is where you will both have to take it in turns taking time off, as no matter how sympathetic your boss may be, they are not going to allow you to keep taking time off. Likewise financially surely you will be needing to hold down a job, so both of you taking time off unpaid will also have a negative impact on your life.
I think you need to have a proper talk when he is back about your plans for her being hospitalised.

We managed to use an internet cafe in the early 2000s, up a remote mountain in Tasmania to contact home. It's not that hard.

He has been "on the sodding phone". He hasn't been on the sodding video phone.

So, you've thought it through and decided the best way to help a stressed OP is to imply her H is lying about his location and possibly having an affair? An interesting approach, I'll give you that one.

Only friend who’s chap worked aboard and wouldn’t answer actual calls / FaceTimes. Was using those working holidays to shag his now Mrs who also worked at the company.

Apart from the odd text and photo like here’s the pool at the hotel she would get near silence.

The fact his ignoring other family as well…

And again it’s also not fair that ops friend is the one picking up the slack there is two parents. Two children.

I hate the sound of him. I bet if it was you op you would be frantic to FaceTime your daughter and would stay up all hours to do so.

I've read most of the posts of this thread. I agree with what a lot of what has already been said.

What sticks out for me that we as women have fought so hard for equality in the workplace place and in society but it really has backfired on us.
So we have OP who is working, presumably full time, but is having to juggle her work responsibilities with caring for a young child and also bearing the full emotional load of a sick child in hospital. Whilst her H not only refuses to come home to share the family responsibilities but even refuses to interact with his sick child or even properly with OP. Where is the equality in that?
I can just about excuse him not coming home but his refusal to face time is totally incomprensible. Either he really doesn't give a shit about his child, or in fact his wife, or there really is something else going on in his life.
I feel so sorry for his dd and I feel so angry on behalf of OP that he is not showing her any support in a difficult and stressful supposedly family situation which should be down to both of them to weather, not just OP.

Honestly, if our daughter had a chronic illness and the doctors are happy to speak about discharging in a week (most doctors I know wouldn’t want to even consider talking about discharge if it was really serious), I’d expect to just update my DH every so often to let him know that it’s going ok. Especially as it would take almost as long for him to come home as she would be in hospital. We’re Facetimers, so we prolly would if he was away but you’ve said you’re not.
You’re carrying everything here while he’s gone, including responsibility for your other DD, so I completely understand why you’ll be feeling upset and resentful in this situation. But in answer to your question, no, I would not expect my DH to leave a work placement with just two weeks to go if it was me:

“Think it through for a moment” is rather patronising? I, like most on here, have “thought it through”. There is no way, time difference or not, my DH would NOT FaceTime DD in this scenario. None. And if he said he was “resting”? I would point out that not only was I not at work, I was looking after one DD in hospital and another stuck with a friend, so he could frankly fuck off with his “rest” and get on the sodding phone.

Op is your child’s diagnosis genetic or have a genetic link?

The not answering calls is odd really odd

DS once had chicken pox when DH was away that got infected and no he didn’t come back but he was in constant contact and making sure everything was ok

his reaction is odd is he definitley at work?