To be angry with DH for not coming home?

I was undecided but after reading this YANBU. It’s like he’s deliberately detaching himself from the situation. ETA: I’ve just read your daughter is only 7 too.

I feel if you’d put this all in your Op the voting would look different

When I read the post at first I assumed an older child, but the fact she is 7 and he wont even facetime her when she is asking is awful. The fact you have a younger child too being looked after by a friend and he can't even face time to rest is ridiculous.

When are you meant to rest? How is it on you to juggle this all alone? The fact he hasn't even mentioned it to his boss is ridiculous. They could maybe shorten the trip if he was to ask?
Equally the way some people are talking about Australia, unless he is in the outback he will have great wifi, like there was the last time I was there 15 years ago...

I hope you daughter is better soon OP and the selfish husband comes to his senses!

I just wonder if he is with someone he doesn't want to learn he is there whilst his daughter is in hospital. That ironically their learning this would affect his image. So for example he can't FT at night because he'd have to excuse himself / leave a shared bed.
Or maybe he is just totally selfish...not sure why you are the default parent and he can drop his responsibilities.
Sincerely sorry for the strain you are under and wishing your little one well fast.

He’s acting like a right bellend! I wouldn’t be giving him updates or answering any emails or calls.

That is pretty poor. Even if you accept that he can't come home, refusing to Facetime because he's "busy" or "resting" is an utterly unthinkable level of selfishness - how much rest are you getting OP?

This

Yes id stop answering any messages or calls from him from now on
He doesn't care enough to face time

If it were my ds id be straight home no matter what

Bloody he’ll. What is the point of him??

he knows he’s behaving badly, hence avoiding calls.

he’s ‘tired’?? What does he think you are? Selfish dick.

I’d find it very hard to get past this. I’d be rethinking the relationship.

He’s definitely BU for not FaceTiming and saying he needs to rest! I often wish I had more time to rest but unfortunately parenting responsibilities supersede one’s need for rest so this is ridiculous. Did he refuse to wake in the night when they were babies as well?

If it were just you and DD in hospital and the illness is unlikely to be life changing I’d say it might be reasonable for him to finish out his trip depending on the circumstances.

However given the fact you’ve got another child (who is still very young!) I’d say it’s totally unreasonable for him to stay. It’s absurd for him to expect your best friend to look after his child for a week whilst you tend to a second child in hospital. It’s also sad for your second child — I’m sure your friend is lovely but surely she’d be more comfortable at this uncertain time being looked after by a parent?!

It’s also absurd that he expects you’ll just take a week plus off work to manage it all on your own. His work responsibilities don’t trump your own. If he’s always like this I’d seriously be having a hard think about my marriage.

That's very suspicious if you ask me.
Sorry not trying to make a bad situation worse.
Can understand not coming home but the not face timing but answering WhatsApp voice is weird

Not coming home is understandable but not face timing his child is unforgivable.

He may be in Australia but I highly doubt it's for the reasons he's told you. But you can deal with this when he gets home. For now, focus on your DD. In fact I think I'd switch off from him full stop.

Not being funny but if this guy cares so little he is ignoring desperate calls to make contact with his eldest daughter who is seriously ill in hospital do you really think “reading him the riot act” is going to impact at all?

The not facetiming sounds very suspicious. Do you trust him?

If it’s the same guy then l would be sorting a divorce. But more fool her for sticking with him, he was a major dick about Glastonbury

I would be reading him the riot act in a harsh way. He needs to step up and sort his priorities out. He can’t be that busy to not make phone calls! That’s total rubbish lm afraid. In the current world and NHS then admissions of that length are realistically serious. He’s coming across as a shit father and a shit husband (why do you need to pick up all the pieces?). Your daughters friends parents are doing more than him

What’s the time difference where he is? I can understand him not wanting to fly home if your DD is regularly hospitalised but not wanting to FT because he’s “resting” is really weird. So he is available (ie not working or sleeping) but he’d rather rest than FT with his sick child? I don’t think I could forgive someone for taking that position.

Oh I’d forgotten about that thread.

I did not say he was lying about his location. Or having an affair. I did say he’s lying about not being able to FaceTime. Because he’s “resting”? An interesting approach, I’ll give YOU that one.

Too far to come, too expensive and too much for work to subsidise.

I would only come back if it was serious, she’s sick but not at serious risk according to the post.

It really doesn't matter if posters here wouldn't use FT in any circumstances.

The Op and child would like to FT. It's not a ridiculous request.

Bloody hell that's a poor effort. I travel for work and if DC was admitted to hospital I would be straight home.

Is it the kind of work where he would genuinely be that essential for that many hours of the day? Is his role irreplaceable?

I can't fathom the no video calls even if he is not processing the severity of it.

I wouldn’t expect him to come back from Australia. But he should be FaceTiming and keeping in regular contact with you. Is he feeling a bit complacent maybe if this is an ongoing issue with your daughter and she regularly gets admitted and then comes home after a few days?

Has she been in hospital before? Is she expected to go in again? How many times has she been in? Would you expect him to rush home every time?

Refusing to FaceTime is suss in itself . Very weird behaviour .
I doubt I’d come back from a work trip so far away if it wasn’t life threatening
I’d hate every minute being away and would want to call/FaceTime as much as I could.

@Coffeeoftheworld op is he def in a work trip ? Maybe you don’t need to hear that right now I just feel it has to be asked . Considering

Of course - but video, whether on FT or WhatsApp, or Skype, or Teams still consumes vastly more data usage than voice only.

It's Australia @CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone - not the Outer Hebrides. They do have WiFi