To be angry with DH for not coming home?

Though, once she’s out of hospital, who does he expect to look after her at home?

Is he expecting @Coffeeoftheworld to take even more time off her job to care for a sick child at home?

What a dickhead! Why can’t he FaceTime, at least?? I wouldn’t be bothered updating him

Major Red flag unfortunately

I wouldn't - not for a chronic condition where she might be out in a week and I'm a few days' away. I would, however, FaceTime at a time suited to DD

He's hiding something massive there in Australia. Get copies of all the financials. Look for new emails, or if he's opened a new credit card. Be prepared and get the name of a good lawyer.

That he won't FaceTime his own sick 7 year old, this would be come to Jesus time. He's completely checked out when your kid is having a big health crisis. He's gone nearly no contact during this. That's nuts. That her hospital stay looks open ended and at least a week, I hope you have a lot of support around you.

I was a PICU nurse for a couple decades and NICU before that. It's very, very unusual to see fathers this checked out. Has he even been in contact with her docs?

YANBU.

Unless there’s some missing context. Why does he need to be there in person? Is he a performer or something? Can he not have his remaining meetings etc online?

Regardless, he should explain the situation to his employer and be offering solutions to make it easier to cut short his trip.

To not even agree to a video call with his child is very odd, especially if she’s asking for him. And to say it’s because it’ll make him tired is an appalling excuse. I doubt you’re getting much sleep if you’re in hospital with your child.

Depends where he is in Australia but wouldn’t a post-work evening call from most time zones be mid-morning UK time when your child is more likely to be awake?

does not sound great at all

Sorry to add to your already distressing situation but along with being angry I’d actually be suspicious of why he can’t FaceTime.
he needs to rest!! Wtf! I’d have a feeling he’s not wanting to expose something or someone over there.
sending lots of best wishes and strength. Id just cut him out now and save your energy for your kids, he can get in touch when he finds the time energy the prick

Imagine how much worse this would be if op didn’t have a good friend.

Her other child would be where? Because hospitals don’t tend to let extra non patient children stay and they do tend to expect a parent to stay. That leave what social services getting involved.

Dh hasn’t done bugger all to help the situation.

Can't be arsed to facetime his little girl in hospital? What a shit dad he is.

I'd be going ballistic when the twat finally gets home.

It's even worse that he's stopped answering his phone when OP and other family members try and ring him. They could be phoning to tell him that his daughter has taken a turn for the worst but he doesn't care. I'd find this behaviour very hard to forgive.

This isn’t relevant to op at all!

A mum would be crucified for this. One could almost, almost excuse not coming home if he was constantly calling and in contact. But his refusal to speak. No. I’d be unable to ever see him in the same light again and telling him so. This would imperil my marriage irreparably.

I think as the admission is only expected to last a week, I wouldn't expect him to come back. But if he genuinely wouldn't facetime, I'd divorce him.

Not joking, I wouldn't want to be married to a man who didn't love his kid.

Depending on the nature of the illness and the importance of the work trip I could understand, potentially but with some reluctance, not coming back. I would expect it to be a discussion about severity, length of admission, care of the other child, impact on the mother, work consequences etc.

There is absolutely no way I could ever overlook the lack of FaceTime. His young daughter is ill in hospital and asking to have a video call with him, and he says no, claiming some BS about being tired and needing to rest. I could genuinely never get over that selfishness (never mind the oddness of this and the fact it unfortunately leads me to other conclusions)

If someone shows you who they really are, listen. He is so clearly showing you the man that he really is.

This is also strange, is he having some kind of breakdown, is he under a lot of job stress?

So your partner was presumably in the military and couldn’t leave and FaceTime didn’t exist. That’s very different to this set of circumstances though isn’t it?

Work will have paid for the OP’s husband’s flight and he could ask for emergency leave and pay a small amount to change the return flight. Or he could speak to his friends/family and help arrange childcare for his other child. Or he could just FaceTime his sick child. Just once. Or he could do fuck all.

Why? When my eldest was small and admitted to hospital her dad was in the middle east ( gulf war) . Didn't have facetime then. Just had to get on with it tbh. I certainly wasn't angry at home for that?

Realistically can you afford a last minute flight from Australia for him, ..? Or because to live financially if he lives his job?

Yup I remember that thread, he didn’t apparently have a ticket but managed to get in 🤦‍♀️ everyone said he was a dick.

So he's prioritising his sleep over ensuring his daughter is OK....

How grim of him.... I mean one 5 minute call isn't going to kill him... Say at 8am/8pm etc....

The fact he’s ignoring family as well as you is alarming when your daughter is in hospital

I don’t think he should necessarily have to come home - but being too busy to talk on the phone daily doesn’t make any sense to me? I went to Australia for work once. I was very busy but still talked to my partner on the phone daily because I wanted to, even without a family emergency? 🤔

Good point. The bar is so low for men.

It’s not just that your DD is in hospital, he is expecting you to sort out your other DD and your work. Can’t believe he won’t even FaceTime? Has he asked how you are coping?

I have had a daughter in hospital with a life threatening illness and I would expect my husband to come home. I have had children in hospital for less and would probably not expect him home, if he was in Australia. It would depend on how manageable I thought the medical situation was based on the child's chronic illness.

I would come home from wherever I was as a child's mum!

I absolutely wouldn't for one moment find it acceptable if he was not facetiming and calling every single friggin day! One to speak to his daughter Two to speak me who would be carrying the weight of the situation without him. I would make it very clear. I don't think I could think of my husband in the same way, if that wasn't what he was doing.

Maybe pay for some marriage counselling sessions as a return from your trip present!