To be angry with DH for not coming home?

If she is unlikely to die

Thats quite the low bar…

Because he's literally on the other side of the planet, like the other poster literally just told you 🙄

'Working very long days'
So that gives him an excuse to not do a 10 min FaceTime with his Wife and ill child
Nobody is that busy 🙄

There is no childcare for the 3yo while the OP is in hospital with the older one. The OP is having to rely on a friend's good nature. That's not acceptable. Having someone's toddler for a week is a huge ask. It's not ok when there's another parent around, even if it's inconvenient for them to come back.

I don't get to foist my child on others because of I'm 'working hard'. I'll use that excuse next time I'm late for nursery pick-up, shall I?

Why a village and not the father?

How about the friend who’s having to look after the younger child though? Why her instead of the child’s father?

Go to bed and get some rest now OP. You need all your energy for your daughter.
Tomorrow is another day. X

Hes in another country working. As the saying goes it takes a village and it looks like the friend ops daughter is staying with is part of that village.
She's getting help so why the need for extra headache?

Hmm. He's literally on the other side of the planet and DD is in hospital with a flare of an existing condition that she may be home within a week. His job likely has DOZENS of others reliant on him being there, in person, and any delay could cost his company a FORTUNE. Film sets are one place where time literally IS money and rescheduling is catastrophic.

If it was an emergency, as in, literal life at risk job is be telling him not to bother coming home.

As it is, she's in good, capable hands, and him being here or not won't make a jot of difference to her recovery. It would also cost the family a packet for his flight(s), take in excess of 30 hours minimum depending on flight routes and he'd be zero use after that long travelling even if he did go to the hospital.

He's ABSOLUTELY and utterly being a cunt for not face timing though. Unforgivable.

Yes, I have actually 🙄

Not read the whole thread then?

All the OP is asking is that she can FaceTime her Husband, literally 10-15 mins once/twice a day, and that her Daughter wants to speak to her Daddy
He can't even provide that - the basics

Oh come on, not "no reason". He's on location for work, working very long days. Working hard to provide for the family, on the other side of the world.

He should be at home looking after your 3yo.

I would tell him that your friend has had enough of doing his job (i.e. being a parent) and so it's past time that your DD's actual parent comes home.

I haven't read the whole thread, just your posts, OP.

First off, I hope your daughter is getting better, and that somehow, you are managing to get some rest, and that both of you are able to access decent food. Thank goodness for your best friend having your other child!

I'm from NZ. My DH travels a lot for work, even more so when we lived there. I know what it's like to be the one home holding the family together, treading water while the other one is off on business travels.

Your DH is being a self absorbed lily livered chicken shit. If nothing else, he could man the fuck up and show his wife and his daughter that he gives a shit about them both, and sacrifice a tiny amount of his precious fucking beauty sleep, and face time them, to see how they are doing for himself, be sympathetic, and at least give some semblance of sorrow that he isn't there to support them both.

These are the kinds of things you don't forget, not as a spouse and co-parent, and not as a child.

Is she in and out of hospital a lot so this isn’t an unusual occurrence? I presume she isn’t that unwell if she can be bothered about video messages rather than just “ your father is a long flight away and sends his love”. If she is unlikely to die and the hospital is part of ongoing management of her ongoing condition then I would let him get on with his job and sort out your obvious unhappiness with your relationship on his return.

I don't think it is petty. Why go through the effort of keeping him updates when he can't be bothered with answering the phone? Ir is just another thing to op's to do list. Since even the ping of a text might bother his sleep, it might be best not to text. Surely, if he cares, he would make the effort and ask 🤷🏼‍♀️

I can't get my head around this. He refuses to facetime his child?

We had 2 medical emergencies with our children - both times dh was travelling for work. Both times (and one was a straightforward appendix) he prioritised getting back as soon as possible because he was concerned about his child, he knew I had to mind the child in hospital and 2 other children, and he knew I had a job I needed to get to too.

Not tit for tat but honestly I would just not text or call him anymore. I couldn't waste my energy on dealing with someone like this. Who does he think is minding the 3 year old? What does he think is happening with your job? and most of all why the fuck is he not concerned that his child wants to talk to him by facetime and he is refusing.

Is he having a breakdown?? When the appendix thing happened my bil was visiting us. He took a day off his job to stay with me and other kids so I could go back and forth from the hospital until dh got here. He wasn't even the kids' father and he was more concerned and involved than your dh.

The more I read your updates @Coffeeoftheworld the more I get stunned

I get the not travelling back but to not even FaceTime or call his daughter is unforgivable

too tired. WTF. Needs sleep for his job so can’t even manage a few minutes

I would think very seriously about staying with this man who really has no time or love for your and your kids

Don't respond. He's telling you clearly he has no interest in supporting you or your child. Hear that and act accordingly.

I wouldn't reply at all OP. The next contact I would have with him would have to be initiated by him - and then I'd make him wait for a sodding reply!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ive just read your updates about what he's doing. FFS.
I would just stop messaging him or replying to him. You're too busy looking after your children to help him feel better about being absent.
Im sorry you're going through this.

Or a few Gins in ....