To be angry with DH for not coming home?

Er… did you get lost on the way to the Daily Mail website?

I've seen women like that ruin good relationships.

Little secret - those women wanted to leave the twat and sounds like it worked.

Yeah well we have electricity and phones and all that mod con stuff in Australia now. 🙄

Whereabouts is he filming? I mean, is it remote or in studios? Because I honestly don't know why he can't Facetime her.

Not flying back from Australia on a film shoot I can potentially see his reasoning… without knowing all the facts…BUT… the fact he wont FaceTime is ringing alarm bells. Who or what does he not want you to see? Is he staying at a hotel? Feels like his lack of visibility means he’s hiding something or someone.

She has been admitted to hospital before but this appears to be a bit more serious although not life threatening and they are saying she “could” be out of hospital within a week but possibly a bit longer

And there is your answer. It’s not life threatening. Associated with chronic illness, May be out in a week(ish) and not life threatening. No way, as a parent I’d return from Australia early in that circumstance.

I also say that from experience. I have one with disabilities/chronic illnesses that was in hospital frequently when younger, and now sporadically as an adult. When young, there were some serious occasions on admissions with a good chance they would die, thankfully didn’t happen. On those occasions I absolutely downed tools and that was my one and only priority. I would absolutely have travelled back from wherever I was no matter the distance. However, in the circumstance you describe, as long as their team was happy that, while serious, it was not imminently life threatening and they would update me if any change to the situation, I would see no need to fly back early (I’m in Aus, so any conference etc was usually on the other side of the globe with the exception of the odd one in Singapore).

The fact he can’t be bothered to call is beyond a joke though. Yes, it’s not ‘convenient’ with the time difference but it’s absolutely possible. I always prioritised speaking to my child’s treating team, and that meant broken sleep etc most times, to satisfy myself of the situation and keep up with treatment plan, and would then liaise with DH to explain to him (I’m clinical, so was easier for team and I to speak and me to ‘translate’ to DH😁). That’s not an inconvenience, it’s your child and your spouse so you prioritise this!

Stop messaging and calling him. He's made it clear he is going to do nothing to support you.
Make it clear this is not ok by just backing completely off.
I can see that he can't come home but he could facetime and be more communicative and supportive.
Go no contact

He's met someone else out there. Maybe a colleague or an Australian woman/local.

I could bet money on it.

Also, I think if you'd opened your OP stating you had a 3 year old with no grandparents and are relying on the kindness of others to care for her, and that he refuses to even facetime or call during his trip, you'd have had VERY different responses.

I would be on the first plane back as I’d be too worried but as it sounds like a flare-up of a serious but chronic condition, I could understand why he thought there was no need, even though it’s shit for you OP.

But he won’t FaceTime as he “needs his rest” and now can’t even find time to text?!!

Fuck off.

I wouldn’t text the bastard a single update. Or ring the cunt again.

Not coming home is understandable but his 7yr old daughter is in hospital and asking for him and he can’t even find 10 minutes to FaceTime her? And now not even 30 seconds to reply to a text?!!!

Utter bollocks.

I’m livid for you OP. I very rarely say this but this would be game over for me. Not because he didn’t fly back but everything else. Selfish, selfish man.

I genuinely don’t say this lightly OP but this would most likely be a relationship ending thing for me. I’d honestly be texting him to let him know that he needs to get his priorities straight - his priorities being his seriously ill child in hospital and his wife who is begging him for support - or he needs to seriously consider whether he still wants to remain married, because you aren’t sure if you can when he is being so mind bogglingly selfish.

It’s one thing saying he can’t get back, but he hasn’t even asked. And now he suddenly can’t even text? It would take five minutes out of his day to call her.

Is there a chance he has a second family, or another woman out there which might complicate things? Sorry to ask - I just can’t help but think that there’s not a job in the world that would keep me from getting home to my sick 7 year old, let alone making a phone call. Sorry he’s being such an arse. I’m so cross on your behalf.

Big Whoop. If you love them you’re not “too tired” to call your sick kid

BECAUSE HES IN ANOTHER COUNTRY EARNING A TON OF MONEY FOR HIS FAMILY.

If he wanted to, he would. Take from that what you will.

This is all I'm trying to get at.
It doesn't always need to be a fight

You can be concerned for your child and still act irrationally and still need to grow up.

You shut up yourself and do one

Right back at you

Because they have more than one child so one should be with the other and swap

but it doesn't make logical sense though.
If a man is in another country on a very big job,seemingly for a decent chunk of money and his daughter is in hospital with a non life threatening illness,which has probably happened many times before in the past does it make sense to ask him to fly half way across the world when there's a partner at home? She's got one other child not 10. Op is a grown woman. And the daughter is going to be out in a few days anyway.
I do think he should FaceTime her but one thing I have noticed about men is that when you become irrational and keep pestering ans nagging them they act irrational back. Not to excuse it but it's so common.
"Wife makes a big fuss when there doesn't need to be one", "husband gets annoyed back then checks out because he doesn't like getting bossed about"...We need to understand that both men and women are human and people make mistakes but it's not everyday wake up and look to have a huge blow up.

In your OP you said he's a great dad but he clearly isn't as he can't be bothered to even Facetime your DD. You might know for sure he's in Australia but do you know for sure who he's with. His attitude and excuses sounds like he's having an affair.
He is too busy and tired to call but expects you to text regularly. Don't bother. He can text you if he wants to know how DD is or better still come home .
I don't know if I could get past how selfish he's being. Might be something to think about when DD is better.

Did you miss the bit about how OPs other child (a 3 year old) is being looked after by a friend whilst OP is with her 7-year old

And? it looks like she used common sense and sorted the issue.
What do you think friends are there for. As I said before it takes a village.

Or the part where OP is having to take leave from her own job to manage the situation with her children

So you want 2 sources of income to take a hit rather than just the one? Very sensible that.

It's not being a martyr. It's called being a grown up.
He's at work working. He's probably stressed and he's got his wife pestering to come home when the only reason why she wants him to is to "show her he cares" rather than it being the rational or logical thing to do.
I've seen women like that ruin good relationships.
Him being home would be of very little use to her anyway. Not to mention the financial hit. I'm sure ops old enough to hold the fort for 2 weeks whilst her husband is bringing in money.
Seriously just grow up. You lot are adults not babies.

I usually think women on here say to leave their husband but I would tell him don't bother coming home. Leaving work is one thing but it sounds like he is too busy to be a father and FaceTime your little one.

My thoughts too. I think it’s not essential he cones home but definitely could ring.

How do you know he cannot take parenting leave?

Are you worried about how the best friend will cope with an extra 3 year old. she may have a job "providing for the family" too.

Are you presuming that the OP's job is lower paid as she's a woman and his is higher paid because he's a man - might not at all be the case. The OP's job may be the more important one for "providing for the family"

And how the hell do you explain how this man won't facetime his child in the hospital.

Yeah your bar for men is really really low.

If only. Like most people right now, my life is complicated and a bit shit. My husband is a bit shit too, but I think he’d at least be somewhat present for a child in hospital.

Haha, good one.

Tbh you should ask his manager directly if you have her details. She’ll confirm if he’s actually working and then you can make a decision.