To be angry with DH for not coming home?

At this point I’d be telling him not to bother coming home at all tbh.

Pp saying leave DD 7 alone in hospital and go to work? Fucking mental. Leaving a vulnerable child alone all day in a massive institution full of randoms? Yeah, great idea! These people must be the types that allow sleepovers with any Tom, Dick and Harry they’ve met once.

OP doesn’t need to leave her sick daughter and go to work as, despite being the higher earner (if it’s relevant?), she’s exercising her right under the law to take time off for her child who is seriously unwell. Maybe her cunt of a husband could do the same or, I dunno, send a text?

This would be a dealbreaker for me. You now know exactly what he thinks of you and dd. You and dd are not a priority.

The lack of face timing and calls makes me think he is with someone else op. Someone that won’t accept his calls back home. I don’t want to add to your worries, but I would see this as a huge red flag.

I would be calling the hotel room, his boss and I would be making plans to evict him from my life.

There is no excuse at all for not calling her, sending her gifts at the hospital. Face timing her daily and making arrangements to come home early at the very least.

What a terrible excuse for a father he has turned out to be. So sorry op.

His boss would force him to speak to his daughter? This is a pretty wild take.

No, it isn't. His boss would read him the riot act for treating his daughter badly, and he deserves to be humiliated. His boss would at least force him to speak to his daughter, ffs, even if not return home. The daughter is ASKING FOR HIM!!! Did you not read that part? OP has only repeated it at least in 6 different posts. Forget how the OP is handling it, his daughter is asking for him! That, is all that matters. It's breaking his daughter's heart. And the OP that has to find excuses to tell her sick daughter for why her own father won't even speak to her!

Given that OP says her DD is asking for him again I think OP would be very justified in messaging him and giving him an ultimatum: that if he doesn't facetime his sick and hospitalised daughter then she will be considering the future of the marriage.
Because honestly I don't see how OP can have any liking or respect for him after his inexplicable lack of concern for his own child and for his wife.

That's total shit OP. I'd be livid too. Best of luck for if you need looking after in your old age because you can't rely him now even! He's totally selfish.
I'd be tempted to contact his boss to explain the situation. To not even ask and then to be too busy to face time, that really got me. Made me furious on you and your dcs behalf.

He will be sat on a toilet daily, he could reply then

Don’t send him any messages. Tell your DD that he is in area with poor coverage/signal but has been on phone to you and wants her to know that he loves her so very much and to get better soon.

then when your husband is back in contact tell him not to bother coming home. The “not even able to reply to messages” is the deal breaker

Have your antenna up @Coffeeoftheworld the fact that he won’t face time her makes me think he is on an affair trip. I kind of get not coming home but to not even facetime her? Something is fishy. Is he a high net worth individual? He could be having a little escort on the side.

And that would be illegal (assuming he has a contract and isn’t self employed). You are allowed time off for an ill child

Same

That's unreasonable as he's at the other end of the world! But HBU to not Facetime either the DD or wife, even just to give her some emotional support. Selfish AF.

Given his job, I can understand why he be reluctant to come home.
But the lack of contact and FaceTiming is unforgivable. A few minutes here and there is easily done, whatever he says.

I wouldn't expect my husband to come back early in these circumstances, no. I think that's unreasonable. I hope your DD feels better soon.

FFS, he's not Steven Spielberg is he? He's probably directing an ad for panty pads. Not sure why all the blokes on here are trying to big him up. He's a useless twat. Cut off contact, it's emotionally draining and pointless because he doesn't give a shit.

Reading your updates, I can't believe he isn't even doing the BARE MINIMUM, which is video calling his ill child who is asking for him, and now saying he won't reply to your messages for 2 days? Op, this is so shocking I doubted it's real.

I don't think I'd ever forgive my DH if he behaved like this...

I’m so sorry he’s doing this OP. You and DD deserve better. I’d consider telling him not to come home at all after his refusal to reply to messages!

I too would be on the first plane home however, do get that if it's not life threatening holding off. What I could never forgive is the 'I'm too busy/need to rest/ bullshit. I'd be telling him to stay in Australia if he can't at least pretend to the bothered and call his daughter and be available to you for support/updates.

I do agree that not calling is unacceptable.

OP, what would happen if you responded to those messages and made it clear to him what a shit parent he is being?

I think this is insane. He thinks the OP has a handle on everything at home and DD is stable and safe, that’s why he doesn’t feel
its necessary to come back. (Going by the OP’s upset and updates I don’t think she has a handle on it at all.)

Contacting his manager is not going to change that, it will just humiliate him, possibly put his job at risk, put the whole project and everyone else’s jobs at risk (has a whole team travelled to Australia?) and the manager may not even agree or he will argue with the manager that his wife is overreacting and entrench his feeling to stay further.

Also if roles were reversed and a man called his wife’s work to tell the manager to send his wife home from a work trip then that would come across here as hugely controlling and unacceptable. (And I don’t accept that every single woman would race back if she felt her husband had things under control.)

I’m in Australia, it’s just gone 6pm so 9am in the uk? So surely he can call before he goes to sleep, so 10 or 11pm here is your lunch time, hes just choosing not to.
I wouldn’t expect him to come home early, but you probably do need a plan in future to care for your smaller child should this happen again. Hopefully she’s settled in nursery and is comfortable with your friend, but a weeks time away from her parents would be difficult on her.

@Coffeeoftheworld i think that is a simplistic view if he cared about the family he would be communicating a d coming up with a plan including communicating with you

but if that is how you do feel can this marriage continue