To feel sad some women are forced to go back to work

@BluePeril

Bless. It’s really sweet that you think a lyric from a song by a woman who had a simultaneous number one album and film, and has fashion and beauty lines, a production company as well as an acting and music career, is some kind of constitutive proof of women’s natural place in the home.

I know right? Jennifer Lopez, with an estimated net worth of $400 million from a portfolio career of different showbusiness roles and you think she’s an appropriate way to make a point about women not being cut out for work… ridiculous.

Just as well you don’t work in communications.

There is no "should" about it.

Just do what you want or what you need to do. Women have different personalities and motivations in life - who knew!

In our house (and the majority I expect) both parents are providers, caregivers and homemakers. It’s certainly what we’ve taught DD and DS. Both parents should be equally responsible for their home and family.

Bless. It’s really sweet that you think a lyric from a song by a woman who had a simultaneous number one album and film, and has fashion and beauty lines, a production company as well as an acting and music career, is some kind of constitutive proof of women’s natural place in the home.

You’re funny. That line was cringingly out of date when the song came out in the late nineties/noughties.

Haha what a load of shite.
Thankfully now women have more choices and can also choose to provide financially for themselves and their family. You don’t need a penis to be able to do that.

I too wish that people had more choice, free time, and the cost of living was lower.

But framing it as all about the man being the breadwinner and it being terrible to put your child in nursery is nonsense.

Oh. I'm sorry 🙁Should I delete my post?

Women who don’t work tend to give back to the community, if not to their own families. Men who don't work tend to focus exclusively on themselves. So worse than useless tbh

You can’t imply that on Mumsnet!

And why not women?

Thankfully no longer true as it’s no longer the 1950’s. If DH wasn’t around there wouldn’t be a drop in our standard of living because my salary can pay the bills, school fees, cleaner, foreign holidays etc.

No. The reality is women put themselves in a vulnerable financial position when they don’t work. We see it on here time and time again.

Blimey reading the last couple of posts is hilarious. Not sure I’m going to read back the ten pages I haven’t read if they’re all going to be explaining to me that the numerous female breadwinners (including myself) and male carer/homemakers I know are all a figment of my imagination or a sign of societal collapse.

What was that opening line from 'Jenny from the block'? "Children grow and women producing, men go working, some go stealing, everyone's got to make a living".

As much as it angers the feminists, the reality is that men are providers, women are care givers and homemakers.

If men don’t work they are useless tbh

I'm sorry that 25% of women are discriminated against for getting pregnant or having a child, when they want to work.

Do you feel sad that men have to work?

Same here.

The ‘you’ll regret working so much on your deathbed’ gets trotted out all the time on these threads.
I can confidently say I will not regret working or working full time when I look back on my life.

Not only is financial independence important to me it also allows me to live where I do, and give my child opportunities I could only have dreamed of as a child.
I’m also lucky enough to have a job that allows me to travel the world. I’m currently on a trip to east Asia visiting countries I would never have travelled to on holiday. Sometimes DS gets to come too.

So zero regrets here!

It was a choice for me in the sense that DH earns enough where me working isn't financially necessary but he wouldn't want to financially support an able adult to stay at home and I feel the same way.

@SouthLondonMum22

Financial independence is incredibly important to me and it is something that I'll never regret. I'm incredibly proud of the fact that I'm the breadwinner too and can provide so much for my family.

Me too. And it’s been really really hard but is now very rewarding. I didn’t have a choice but there’s no way I would change it.

I feel the same.

Financial independence is incredibly important to me and it is something that I'll never regret. I'm incredibly proud of the fact that I'm the breadwinner too and can provide so much for my family.

I honestly just feel sad about the lack of imagination.

It's either we go back to women not having bank accounts, or we keep the current situation of women being "independent" on paper with all the same expectations but not able to catch up to men due to the realities of pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and caring for children, which last much longer than a few months' blip.

I see people in this thread claiming that we "need" to sever any association between women and childcare. Sure, what a noble idea, that men and women will magically 100% equally do everything to do with children despite their different respective roles in creating a child being the fundamental difference between the sexes.

I see advice to women all the time "make sure you go back to work quickly because your pension will fall behind and his will accelerate unless he deigns to give you some".

Men and women are interdependent and there are times in the cycle of life where women are particularly vulnerable and dependent.

And yet for example, there is no legal concept accessible to everyday people of a "family" or a "married couple". You can't buy a joint pension that you both have access to because you're a joint unit and one of you might be on mat leave to enable the other to work but you're a team. There is no such thing as a joint ISA, or joint savings accounts earning a material interest rate. There is no joint taxation.

These are all things that leave women vulnerable and begging to be given access to accounts because we do take more leave, step back etc because of biology but the system assumes we are 100% fungible economic units and that we solved all differences between the sexes.

I absolutely won’t regret my career on my deathbed.

I take a lot of pride in being the breadwinner, and being able to earn money that means if needed I can have complete financial independence. It’s a security that I wouldn’t regret later in life.

I’ve also always been one of “those” women who needed purpose outside of the home. I’d drive myself up the wall parenting, housekeeping and doing life admin full time. It’s not enough, and I’m capable of more!