To feel sad some women are forced to go back to work

I agree. ALL work, paid or unpaid, adds to our society and should be counted!

I agree that this is a true statement but I do not agree that it is how we should define either work or unemployment. All work, paid and unpaid, needs to be counted as work/employment and counted as part of GDP (as some countries count childrearing and breastfeeding as part of GDP). Until this is the case there can be no equality for women since their biology makes them be the full-time or part-time carers of at least children - though I believe that this work (at least past the first year of life) can be equally shared with men as fathers and carers. We cannot outsource child-bearing (unless we wish to live in a transhuman dystopia such as Huxley posits in Brave New World) or allow some women to become living incubators for the rest of society i.e. men and women with wealth outsource childbearing to those less well off (examples of this can be found in Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress and in a short story by John Windham).

Work decides family status

I'd be willing to pay more for it but I agree.

Though if people are wanting to cover SAHM's so women get a choice then that is going to cost money too.

They can be absolutely.

Yes. By having the sort of taxation system most MNers would be horrified by. Everybody wants this sort of thing until it comes to putting their hands in their pockets.

@BluePeril I agree. I see a part of my role as a mum (especially of a daughter) is to be a good working role model and to provide financially for her (alongside my husband). I would never want her to put herself in the incredibly vulnerable position of giving up a career so I try to lead by example.

Sigh. Regardless of whether they’re a despairing backroom IT drone or a bored shelf stacker, or have a ‘fabulous and well paid job’, the responsibility to support themselves does not evaporate once they have a child, rather the reverse.

I did actually have a career I really loved. But I have zero regrets at taking a significant chunk of time out until my children were both in school, when I went back part time and then when they were older primary I went back full time. Although by choice I would have stayed part time. Cost of living has forced me to work more hours than I would like.

Absolutely. It should be a genuine choice for everyone from whatever background in my view.

And many would stay at home DESPITE having a fabulous and well paid job, because spending time with their children is far more rewarding to them!

Some other countries seem to manage it just fine.

Fathers deserve to bond with their babies too.

YANBU - I’m so thankful I had time off when mine were babies even though I’ve since gone back to work full time. Those years were precious. I don’t agree that both (or the sole) parent should be forced back to work when they have a baby or toddler. It should be a genuine choice if you love your job. Not everyone has an amazing, fabulously paid job. Many would prefer to be with their children when they are little.

Which is all very well IF AGREED . No issues with that all all

What i was asking is what happens if someone breaks the agreement. Previously the agreement suited both partners but it changes to only suiting one

Do you realise how much employment costs have been rising in the UK and how companies are therefore not hiring and/or investing outside of the UK? And you want to burden them with 6 weeks of PAID paternity leave in addition to paid maternity leave?

I think that is the answer. No matter what we do, we cant win.

I'm told I'm selfish, materialistic and why did I bother having DC in the first place?

You really can't win.

Instead I'm told I'm sponging off my husband, lacking ambition and letting women down. Can't win.

Yes. Some MPs are pushing 6 weeks of paternity leave at almost full pay.

@Newsenmum For me, feminism is accepting/appreciating that men can be equally as good caregivers as women. My husband shares childcare of our daughter equally because he is as just as good a dad as I am a mum.

I think there have been discussions around this recently havent there?

I hope longer paternity leave becomes the norm too. It will be good for both men and women.

True feminsm is accepting that most women go through pregnancy, labour and birth and often breastfeeding. This has a profound effect on the body and bonding experience with the child. It’s therefore understandable that a lot of women don’t feel ready to go back and may prefer to wait until their child is more independent. Either they do it or someone else has to.

I completely agree, I think its awful that paternity leave is 2 weeks (and for some even less) My partner didn't have any paid paternity leave (thankfully hes changed jobs now!) I hope new charities like Dad Matters make a difference to men at such a time and I hope longer paternity leave becomes more widespread.

@SouthLondonMum22 Ah bet he loved being around for them as much as he could ❤️ My husband just desperately wanted to be with her as much as possible because he loves being a Dad more than anything in the world but unfortunately knew our daughter would be his only child.
I think in an ideal world both mums and dads couls share in that first precious year at least.
On the other hand I would never want to be a SAHM!