To not get up when my DSD wakes up?

That's fine.

But the issue here is that the DH essentially wants to opt out of doing the morning shift and dump it on OP.

It would be quite simple to tag team and. have do.DH has Saturday lie in, OP has a Sunday lie in... But DH would renege on Sundays and would find many reasons to interrupt her Sunday lie in... Opening doors, "I'm tired", "DSD wants to see you", "what should I make for breakfast...", "the kids are asking if you're okay...", where are the towels...?", "have we got any tissues, I think I might be coming down something "

If the DSD were your child you still don't both need to get up.

Suggest that your husband teaches his daughter to read her clock and, unless she is ill, she doesn't disturb other people sleeping until after seven o'clock. She is six and can read, play quietly, listen to birds etc and learn to amuse herself and enjoy her own company.

Good opportunity to talk about what all is fair in your relationship. What other things do you do without complaint that he should really take a turn at but doesnt? What do you see the future with bf and overnight Ealing’s multiple times looking like? What about mat pay v his salary how does he see that working out.

Lots to consider here before you procreate and regret it. There are so many on here whose lives have been made significantly worse by having a partner who isn’t really interested in domesticity.

Lots of wise comments on this thread. I would also say that since your DSD is 6, I don’t really see that anyone needs to get up with her. It would be different if she were much younger but at 6 she’s old enough to do her own thing and potter for a bit before the household gets up.

Get up and shut the door and go back to bed.

I'll bet he's the type to suddenly develop an illness, just after you do... and it's FAR worse than you ever had it, so yeah, he'll have to stay in bed, umm and whilst you're still ill, cN you bring him a cup of tea and some paracetamol.... Yeah, you don't get to stay in bed...because you know, you weren't as poorly as he was. Oh, yes, and when you were ill, he just absolutely NEEDED to pop in to the room every so often to ask very important questions like "where's the washing up liquid?" Or "do you know if Susan is still coming over next week?" And "I can't remember what the code is for the shed padlock".

😂😂😂 more like HE wants you to

When you get up with him, does he leave you to interact with your dsd? I would definitely re-think having dc with him, there’s no doubt at all that he’ll make you get up every day and remind you of all the times he got up with his own daughter!

I agree that there's an assumption here. I don't think anyone can tell you what you have to do. Anyway what constitutes proper parenting? I didn't dare wake up my mum or dad at 6am nor did I need to- but they are proper parents.

Though perhaps OP needs to talk to DH about boundaries and expectations.

He says DSD wants me to be with her when she wakes up.

If thats true, it will be a good opportunity to explain to her, that we dont always get what we want.

A decent guy would go a step further and remind her how hard you work, explain why you're tired and encourage her to keep the noise down.

By the spunds of it, his expectation is that he married you expecting to do half the work he would have to as a single dad.

How long have you had the feeling he is resentful? What does he do by way of planning quality one to one time with his daughter?

Because if I’m planning to have my own children then they will be siblings who spend weekends together with me and I don’t want them to be treated unequally when they are together.

All of this is why I wouldn’t ever have a blended family though.

Awww, poor baby, didn't sleep well.... Awwwww

He had a family, what happened to that one?

People are very black and white about this kind of thing. You can’t solve it formulaically ‘his child, his job’.

There are loads of situations where you would get up and help a partner. Loads would even drive a partner to an early morning sporting event. You wouldn’t say ‘your marathon, your job’ or whatever.

It definitely isn’t your obligation to get up and I think doing it all the time would be too much. And he shouldn’t be annoyed if you stay in bed.

But, if you are awake anyway, then why not get up and make it more fun for him? If your parents came to stay, would you expect him to get out of bed and be sociable?

His child is there for him to spend time with and for him to parent.

People with joint children don’t both get up at the same time when children wake. They take it in turns and let each other get lie ins and rest.

But this is not your child and not your responsibility. You do not need to be getting up or sharing morning duties with him.

If his daughter lives there full time I could understand you helping out sometimes however she doesn’t.

Have a direct and clear conversation with him and say that you have noticed he’s resentful of the fact you get to lie in when his daughter is there and why does he feel it’s ok to aim negative feelings at you just because he’s having to parent his own child.

You need to be having these sort of conversations because you even think about having a child with this man because his behaviour now is a window into the future of how he’ll behave once you have a child together.

If he sees parenting his own child now as a chore, he will with your joint child.

I can't believe he opened the bedroom door what an arsehole, .you need to.nip this in the bud op, set him straight once his Dd goes back to her mums .

When you get home make sure to read his behaviour... Any signs he resents you having been out please reconsider having a dc with him. Incidentally who's idea was trying for a dc together?

Welcome to your future... Your DH will expect you to be up with your joint child, not him...

Just read your updates, dont have a child with this man. He will expect you to get up with dsd and future dc while he lies in bed its obvious with the way hes behaving now.

Run for the hills OP and don't look back..

When you are on maternity leave you WILL become default parent to his daughter unless you start talking about this now.

Most likely kid would like to adults to serve her...
Dad's job to say no.

Why do you need to take on a 'proper parenting role' with a step kid? Who does that benefit? Does anyone actually think that children want their parents' spouses to be 'proper parents' to them? They really don't, assuming they have two decent parents already.

Yanbu. His child, he gets up with her especially imas you don’t have any children of your own!

I would expect him to expect you will get up with any other dc you have and he will refuse to get up with them as he’s getting up with his dd. I would seriously reconsider dc with this man.