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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I stop what I’m doing to rescue him?

107 replies

Typicalwave · 14/09/2025 08:50

My partner has gone out without his keys again and is knocking on the door. He does this every time he takes our dog gif a walk. We have a spare key in a lock box. He refuses to yse it. He thinks I should stop what I’m doing and find and let him in each time. He thinks im lazy and unreasonable to expect a man in his 50’s to take his keys or use the spare key tgat we have for incidents such as this.

AIBU to tell him to take his keys/use the spare?

OP posts:
medievalpenny · 14/09/2025 21:37

Typicalwave · 14/09/2025 21:30

No.

But I’m sure it will continue, just like all of the other stuff.

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Did you open the door for him or did he behave like a decent human being?

Original poster
Typicalwave · 14/09/2025 21:30

medievalpenny · 14/09/2025 21:23

He's been on the doorstep knocking on the door since 8.50am until 7.30pm?

Show quote history

No.

But I’m sure it will continue, just like all of the other stuff.

OP posts:
medievalpenny · 14/09/2025 21:23

Typicalwave · 14/09/2025 19:29

More than likely he will continue, yes.

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He's been on the doorstep knocking on the door since 8.50am until 7.30pm?

Original poster
Typicalwave · 14/09/2025 19:29

SirBasil · 14/09/2025 19:16

so what happened in the end? is he still knocking?

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More than likely he will continue, yes.

OP posts:
SirBasil · 14/09/2025 19:16

Typicalwave · 14/09/2025 18:55

Thanks all. Glad to know I’m not lazy/selfish wtc for being unwilling to stop cleaning/cooking/working/relaxing to open the door for him bevause he’s just trying to prove a point.

so what happened in the end? is he still knocking?

spoonbillstretford · 14/09/2025 19:00

We quite often go out without the keys and let one another in, or open the door while the other person is finding their key. Never thought of it as an issue.

Original poster
Typicalwave · 14/09/2025 18:55

Thanks all. Glad to know I’m not lazy/selfish wtc for being unwilling to stop cleaning/cooking/working/relaxing to open the door for him bevause he’s just trying to prove a point.

OP posts:
nevernotmaybe · 14/09/2025 14:44

Both sound the same. He's doing something for the household and member of the family, you could just let him in. And he could just take the key.

Half of one situation here.

AllrightNowBaby · 14/09/2025 14:14

HerewardtheSleepy · 14/09/2025 09:08

Why won't he use the lock box key??

Frankly, I'd open the door for the dog and then shut him out after it's come it.

🤣

MysticalPombear · 14/09/2025 14:12

MarvellousMonsters · 14/09/2025 08:53

Weaponised incompetence, he’s expecting you to look after him. Useless. Next time he goes out, go out too….

This. Weaponised incompetence.

buffyfaithfredwesley · 14/09/2025 14:10

Mylovelygreendress · 14/09/2025 13:47

The issue is only when OP is in the house ! He is perfectly capable of opening the door , he is trying to control her .

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Yeah fuck that. Headphones and I’m having a very long bath. Especially if it’s raining
I’m not dropping everything to open a door that people can open themselves

it’s like when delivery drivers buzz and I answer and say come in, it’s open (use the bloody TRADE BUTTON) and then just stand there. Push the door, it opens!

Onthebusses · 14/09/2025 13:55

You're telling me there is a key right there that he could just use?

Lol, I'd put some loud music on and ignore him.

He's trying to break your spirit.

suburberphobe · 14/09/2025 13:53

He does this kind of thing with everything. To prove a point - that his way is the correct way and I’m in the wrong.

I couldn't be attracted to a man like that.

Mylovelygreendress · 14/09/2025 13:47

buffyfaithfredwesley · 14/09/2025 13:34

I would be going out next time he does for a long shopping trip and if that didn’t fix it then ditching him
I couldn’t be arsed with that, let yourself in you lazy fucker

The issue is only when OP is in the house ! He is perfectly capable of opening the door , he is trying to control her .

Chicaontour · 14/09/2025 13:38

Time for a long bath

buffyfaithfredwesley · 14/09/2025 13:34

I would be going out next time he does for a long shopping trip and if that didn’t fix it then ditching him
I couldn’t be arsed with that, let yourself in you lazy fucker

UtterlyOtterly · 14/09/2025 13:31

He is either controlling or helpless. Neither are attractive traits.

ginasevern · 14/09/2025 13:20

Nope, I couldn't be that unkind. I'd have to let the dog in - but the bloke could stay outside.

Francestein · 14/09/2025 12:53

Just text him the lock box code and say “Fucking use it or stay where you are.”

EmeraldShamrock000 · 14/09/2025 12:52

This wouldn't cross my mind, though I live in a small house, we often leave keys behind when going on the dog walk.
It's probably 12 steps to open the door.
If it bothers you, he should bring a key, he can attach a spare to the dog lead.
As he's controlling in other areas, that is different.

Womblingmerrily · 14/09/2025 12:51

Text him 'busy, use the lock box'

SummerFrog25 · 14/09/2025 12:50

Zempy · 14/09/2025 12:38

He sounds like a total knobhead.

Is he still outside?

He would be if he lived here. I'd also put the chain on the door so when he finally caves in & gets the key out of the lock box he still can't get in. I'd put my phone on silent & eventually drop a note out of an upstairs window 'I can be contacted via my solicitor on xxx xxx. I'll pop a survival bag in the doorstep in an hour IF you're not there'

parakeet · 14/09/2025 12:48

People saying OP should go out to "teach him a lesson" have missed the point. The partner is quite capable of using the lock box when she is out. But when he knows she is in he stands there knocking, in a battle of wills - for up to 5 minutes until she gives in.
Dear OP you need to leave him. He is trying to control you (and seems to be succeeding so far). Imagine if he was stood there with your child in a buggy - you'd have no choice but to let them both in then.

SirBasil · 14/09/2025 12:48

LurkNoFurther · 14/09/2025 10:17

What a weird thread. Sounds like you hate each other? I’d be happy that DH has taken the dog out, opening the door would literally take less than 1min. I wouldn’t even be insisting he ‘has to take keys’

If it has got to a point that opening the front door has become a huge issue in your marriage, you need to take a step back and reassess whether you should even be together.

yes, all the boys will pick you.

IN the meantime the other posts OP has made indicate at least a mild need to control her and IME that always escalates.

SummerFrog25 · 14/09/2025 12:46

Typicalwave · 14/09/2025 09:14

No. He remembers his keys/uses the lock box I’m not in and he takes the dog for a walk. It’s only if I’m in.
He just stood continuously knocking for over 5 minutes..

He does this kind of thing with everything. To prove a point - that his way is the correct way and I’m in the wrong.

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Yeah, fuck that for a joke. I'd much rather be single than live with a bellend whose purpose in life is to make me 'in the wrong'.

why do you stay with him??