Children start school at 5, oh no they don't

Quite likely could be Denmark, stay at home parents aren't really a thing. Certainly by age 3, most children are in some sort of full time education/child care setting.

And where do they go for the rest of the day while their parents are at work?

In the UK, he started September 1983, mornings only, he was 4 at the end of October. Didn't do full days until January.

I actually think deferring makes this situation worse, if you have a deferred April born and a none deferred August born you then have a 5year 5month old in with a 4year 1 week old. I actually think this would further disadvantage the disadvantaged pupils with parents who just want rid of them to school asap.

Some schools are moving to a continuous provision model in year 1, and even in year 2 - which is the 'learning from play and experience' model they use in Reception - it has been shown to acheive better results both socially and academically when used skillfully. I agree it can be a big jump, although not always due to age - my summer born found it much easier than my September born - both are bright but September child struggles more with change.

Sorry Strawberryfields, only going on what I was told years ago by a friend of my son. She was a Finnish girl who had spent 6 years teaching juniors in the Bristol area, and had made the decision to return to Finland to teach. I am aware they do not start school until around 7 years but only hearsay on the difference at 11. Would love to see some statistics, though.

I had a conversation with my daughter who is now in year 11, she's a late summer birthday and I mentioned something about deferrals and she said she would have absolutely hated being a year behind, she'd have really resented me for it.

My DS is in age 3 clothes. Hes 4, so he’s just slightly smaller than average but not shockingly so.

Maybe we have different interprétations of what Kindergarten is but maternelle is essentially about socialisation and general development in preparation for CP which is primary/elementary school. That's what my son does in a kindergarten too.

Primary school in France starts at 6 in CP. But there's mandatory pre-school (I suppose that's a better translation than kindergarten) from 3.

This sounds like a poor choice of school.more than a.wider issue. EYFS implemented well is very different to KS1 and the national.curriculum.

Reception was bad enough with the homework that was impossible for them to do. When they got to year 1 it was panic stations. Teachers giving doom and gloom reports to those of us who had children who couldn’t read and write whilst dismissing concerns of dyslexia (which both dc were diagnosed with 10 years later)

The primary school dc went to was some testing site for new educational learning models.

In maths the parents could not help their dc because the way that they had to add up made no sense.
Parents were invited to a meeting to learn this new way of adding up.
The teachers themselves couldn’t show how it was done. Every sum they did was wrong

Spelling tests were also unfathomable. The actual test was writing a sentence that might not contain any word that had been learned

Both dc really wanted to love school but ended up hating it.

Do you mean that there was no formal learning in reception. No homework? Because whilst both dc loved the play bit in the afternoon they weren’t as keen on the morning lessons which involved reading and writing which neither could do (both diagnosed with dyslexia 10 years later by which time it was too late for them to have any extra help or having different learning styles put in place)

My DD loved Reception and was disappointed when half term came. She seemed to spend most of her time learning through play, but still made very good progress in English and Maths. If her experience is typical, then I think the EYFS is great and gets the balance right.

DD was much less keen on the formal learning of Year 1, and we were occasionally very late because she'd had a tantrum about going to school. So, I wish we could have carried on the EYFS/ kindergarten style of learning for another year or two - isn't this the norm in some European countries?

I started school in a tiny pinafore sized for a three-year-old, that my DM had scoured the shops for. I'm just under five feet tall now.

My friend and her dh are both under 5ft 1”. Their dd who was 4 in late August was so tiny they had to have her school uniform made for her.

And what happens if children aren’t toilet trained.
I always love these rules where it says you are supposed/must do something especially when dealing with tiny children.

This and the UK model all sound like someone’s vanity project. The idea being that the more they shove education down a tiny child’s throat the better the outcome when all evidence points to the contrary.

I'm glad it's not just me. There weren't any children my daughter was friends with that weren't potty trained at 2.5ish and off bottles at lot earlier than that.

As others have said, 4 is a good time to start Reception, but 5 is probably too young for Y1. In OP's case, I agree that her child doesn't sound ready, SEN or not.

It is school at 3 y old in France : Ecole maternelle and it's compulsory. Children are supposed to be toilet trained before; no nappies allowed. So nothing like the German kindergarten which is more like nursery/preschool.

It's not school at 3 in France, it's Kindergarten. I think 3 is too young for compulsory education, though I understand the French government does it to give everyone an even footing. But many children benefit from spending more time at home if they can. 4 is more reasonable but I personally think 5 is better. There is evidence to suggest boys especially do better if they are held back a year before starting, it's certainly something I'm considering for my June baby.

weve always just said kids start at 4 here, not 5. Both my boys are summer born - DS1 only turned 4 a week and a half prior to starting reception! DS2 is July.

both went to reception at 4. I was very worried for DS1 but honestly it was no real difference from his EYFS setting he was attending at nursery (he was in nursery preschool room from 3YO) as it’s all play based and actually shares the same EYFS curriculum as preschool/nursery follow. He just had to wear a uniform!

The maturity and difference between a 3YO and 4yo is very large. It’s scary when they’re 3 as you still see a lot of toddler/baby traits but in our case they have grown so much in that year that by the time they were 4 they were ready for school. With DS2 I have been worried about his toiletting - he has been fully trained since just before 3 but likes an adult to help wipe him, which they don’t like to do at school obviously. We spent time supporting his learning with this skill this summer, so he was ready for school starting in sept. He does it totally solo and fine at school it turns out! Just likes our help at home! so, my advice is not to underestimate how much they can do and how much they grow!

YANBU to say school starts at 4.

I think YABU to handwring and say he's not ready or that you have to arrange his place while he's still 3. Reception in the UK isn't as academically focused as the first year of school is in a lot of countries. It's sort of different terminology for the same thing other places call pre-school or Kindergarten (I don't mean the US usage of Kindergarten, which is the first year of school, but mor the Northern European meaning).

Obviously you make the choice which is right for your child with holding back or not, but if he's 3y7m right now, then he'll be 4.5 by the time he starts school.

My dd went through the Belgian system where they start kindergarten at 2.5 and Primary the (calendar) year that they turn 6. Up til that point, they might learn letters, their name etc, but no formal reading and writing. I remember a friend visiting for the weekend and her dd was 1 year younger than mine and was reading, if a bit hesitantly and I was worried about dd being behind. We'd done some phonics but as I wasn't sure what method would be used in school, I mostly left alone. But dd's teacher said - the whole class will be able to read well in 6 months - something that sounded a bit incredible to me - but she was correct. I think maybe the maturity levels evened out and they were the "right" age to start.

Agree I can underhand wanting to keep them home with a primary care giver but the difference between reception and nursery is negligible.

My son was 4 late July so he’ll be 4 for the entirety of reception. It does seem quite young but they do start to bore of preschool and reception is still mostly play based. It’s not a million miles off nursery tbh.

I was simply using the OP's terminology. She said she wants to 'hold him back'.