Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

I took a 17 and 19 yo to Florida last year. We did 2 days in Universal then went to the beaches Gulf of Mexico side - they were stunning. They loved them and eating out down by the beach and just chilling.

I think that if you're going to book a family holiday with late teens it's really important to chuck aside any assumptions about what they'll like and sit down and discuss it properly. The first question should always be "Do you want to come?" because so many parents assume they will want to. If they say they do, then the next question should be "what type of holiday would you enjoy?" If it doesn't match YOUR idea of an enjoyable holiday, then considering you are paying for it, I'd say to them that maybe it's time to go on separate holidays. Maybe offer to pay a little bit towards their own holiday with mates.

If they say they would want to come on the holiday you have in mind, be very clear in your expectations and tell them to be clear in theirs. eg if they say they just want to be able to get up when they like and stay up late and be on their phones as much as possible, suggest that maybe they could stay home and do that as it might not be worth them coming? If they insist they will join in with some stuff, make it clear that it would mean some early morning starts to get out and about and see if they're happy to do that. Or see if they want to invite their friend along (if they pay their own flight etc). Sometimes if they bring a mate along it shakes them up a bit and they're less likely to loll around.

Honestly, there just comes a time when the teens will have their own idea of what makes a good holiday, and sometimes it really doesn't turn out to be what you think it would.

OP, you've had 18, 16 and 13 years to teach each of your children your expected standard of behaviour during holidays.

Did you fully utilise that time?

Noone in their right mind goes to the parks at opening time no matter how early they're up. That would be downright stupid.

The mistake you made was booking a hotel instead of a villa. You can't expect a good holiday in one and others pockets 24/7.

If they're enjoying their holiday then good on them.

I think it’s selfish of the parents. Not realising the disruption it will cause to their child/ren. Every child I’ve seen miss the first couple of weeks of term has struggled massively to settle in. It’s much less disruptive to take a child out at the end of the summer term.

There's a lot more to Florida than Disney parks!

I agree - why Florida? I have a 19 year old and she would think I was mad if I suggested a holiday involving Disney, water parks, etc.

If it's for your eldests 18th, I'd largely leave them to it. Surely they can spend their birthday holiday as they wish?

If the younger one wants to go out, just go out.

Did the 18 year old want to go to Florida? Did they all have a say over activity choices?

If you saw someone reading a book whilst lying on a sun lounger would you judge them as well? Unless your teenagers are saying they’re not enjoying their holiday, why get stressed and upset just because they’re not doing what you think they should be doing.

I'm so sorry OP. I understand its hugely frustrating right now when all they want to do is doomscroll and lie down and youve booked things, theyre not considering the cost to you but realistically, they wouldnt as theyve not been on the other end of that yet-paying for thier family to do something and nobody seeming to sppreciate it.

That being said, if thats what the oldest is doing, and this holiday was meant to be to celebrate thier birthday, is this something they even wanted to do? Or something that was picked and just so happens its thier birthday too?

I think i'd personally feel a little annoyed (although EXTREMELY GRATEFUL- I dont have anyone planning anything for me) if someone planned something for my birthday but none of it was to my liking? It feels this is very much a family holiday but youre saying its for the 18 year old. Is 18 even bothered about the holiday really? Would they have prefferred a different present and you maybe assuned they would like this? At that age a lot of people probably want to do more with thier mates than thier family.

You have done a lovely thing btw. Just trying to see it from another angle.

It's the start of term. Of course all children should be attending school/college.

Because it's the start of term, and they have had a whole 6 weeks off school.
I hope they get fined, heavily.

It is disruptive to the staff and other pupils when individuals are off school. It's selfish.

Did the 18 year old want to go to Florida to celebrate his / her birthday ?

Forget the nagging & getting frustrated with them every day - I would be sitting them all down for a family chat/meeting & telling them just how much the holiday had cost & what that means in relative terms you / them.
E.g “I’ve had to work incredibly hard for this holiday, & paying X for this trip is equivalent for X months wages for me (or if they have a part time job even better… work out how many days/weeks they’d have had to work to earn that much money). I’ve booked it as a treat for DC1’s 18th & so that we can all have an amazing experience as a family. You are so incredibly privileged to have been taken on a holiday like this. So many people could only dream of being able to have a holiday abroad, never mind to Florida. You are missing out on real life experiences that you’ll never be able to have again because you want to stare at content on a phone that will still be there when we get home. I am really, really disappointed.
Tomorrow is a new day. We will be doing X and leaving the accommodation at X time. It would mean a huge amount to me if you got up & joined us & were part of our family. If you don’t want to that’s your choice & you can stay here, but you’ll need to find your own food to eat & that’s that. I won’t ever be paying for a holiday like this again as it simply it not worth all the effort I have put in to make this possible. That’s all I’m going to say about the matter, the choice is yours to make”.

i would tell them how you feel about their behaviour!!! and impress on them that if they don't change then it will be last holiday u take them on (all 3 ) no change then have fun with your 13 year old and forhet the other 2 certainly if they don't join in then no food let them starve they'l soon come round !!! don't forget its your holiday too enjoy

Why are you taking them away at the start of the school year?

This sounds like a wind up. Who is their right mind would choose a holiday like this at this time of year for this age group 🤣

Lucky devils OP. Feel free to take me next time 😅are they not much into the coasters / theming? Either way I think you’re fine to give them a short swift bollocking reminding them you’re a human and confining the phones to the safe for at least 5 hours a day. They’ll cringe at their behaviour in the future.

Perhaps it is all a bit much and you need chill out days in between activities? Or let them have more say about what they do and what time you leave?

Personally that kind of holiday, theme parks, thousands of people steaming hot humid weather I'd find knackering and it would fairly jangle my nerves and make me want to lie in a dark air-conditioned room for a bit. And half a day doing that after a chilled out morning would be ample.

I hope the holiday improves.
Can some of the planned activities be cancelled (and not lose money) and you do some different things instead?
There might be some really random stuff that everyone would find fun.
This might sound odd but if I ever went to America I would want to go to a giant Walmart just for the experience 😂