Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

Mine wouldn’t either. We frequently visit the US and we are out and about doing loads of things. When we have downtown we all read on our phones but certainly we are out for 90% of the day doing fun stuff. No one mopes, is miserable, sleeps in. We don’t argue about anything and agree what to do as a family. The teens are on the beach, in the pool, completely embracing the holiday. I think that is more the norm than not surely? I don’t think my kids are anything other than average teenagers.

Florida (probably) isn’t in the same timezone that you live in, my friend. It’s currently 3:20am in Florida. I doubt OP’s kids are still awake and staring at her on her phone as she posts on Mumsnet XD

I’m American, and while I live on the opposite coast from Florida (I live in Southern California), I am VERY familiar with Florida’s weather. People, even Americans, don’t realize that Florida is technically part of “the American South”, which means it is humid, muggy, and disgustingly hot during the summer months, and often well into autumn.

i understand your DS wanted to go for his birthday, but I’m assuming you’re all British and aren’t even remotely used to the grotesquerie that is Florida weather around this time of year.

Not only is it usually somewhere around 30C during the day, it’s so humid that you could probably get your daily hydration intake requirements just by breathing. This means that doing anything feels NASTY, as high temperatures plus high humidity saps your energy, enthusiasm, and your will to live.

To make matters worse, it rains in Florida during the summer/autumn. Like all the time. And thunderstorms and lightning. If you’ve never experienced a rainy day that is high-temperature, it’s awful. People who have never endured “hot day rain” don’t realize that it’s WORSE than “cold day rain”. Your body is like, “wait, the air temperature is warm, I should be drying off” but NOPE, it’s RAINING! Or even if the rain has stopped, the humidity is still 85% so it’s not like you’re going to dry off.

My sister and her friend just got back from a trip to Florida (sister’s friend’s kids live in Miami) and my sister and her friend were physically miserable the whole time. My sister also said they left “just in time”, because apparently a storm is approaching.

I don’t know if you/your DC have been to Florida/the American south/Southeast Asia during the hot and rainy periods, but it’s life-sapping. I would personally never willingly schedule a vacation to those areas during the rainy season.

IMO the situation/your DCs behavior is partially just that your DC ARE being teenagers (despite you insisting they’ve been perfect angels on all previous holidays), but I think a large part of the issue IS that it’s the nasty season in Florida right now, and they probably feel tired, sapped of life and energy, and gross. And being indoors does NOT always help mitigate the effects of a hot and humid climate, but they probably do feel better in the hotel where there’s air conditioning.

You also keep going on about them not going to school - and while I agree that that has no literal bearing on a vacation, it DOES have bearing on their behavior. If they’re homeschooled/have never gone to public school, that does affect their attitude and behavior (i would know; my mother pulled me out of public schooling when I was 13 and it messed me up socially) and you may be seeing new behaviors start to crop up now that they’re on a stressful holiday.

Maybe they see you on your phone all the time and think it’s accepted behaviour. If I was in Florida I don’t think I would be wasting so much time posting on Mumsnet.

I’d charge them the cost of the activities they’ve missed. Tell them you are leaving at whatever time you need to for the activities and you and the youngest enjoy yourselves and don’t miss out. Make clear you aren’t cooking when you get in so if they don’t have whatever catering is on offer they don’t eat unless they make it themselves. The oldest is now an adult. Time to learn some life lessons.

Leave the eldests in bed and go with youngest its their holiday as well

We did Orlando about five times when our DC were younger, from about 8
ish, I remember when we suggested going when they were 17 and 14, the 14 year old jumped at the chance and since they had pretty much done and seen it all, the 17 year old didn’t want to go, he was literally a few weeks before his 18th so we left him home alone with his grandparents two streets away.

that was the last time we went, they out grow it…for a bit. The 17 year old is now 31 and keeps hinting that he’d like to go again, with his wife and child and us (paying) 😂.

I think you need to suck it up and leave the older ones and go without them. Let them sort their own food out, it’s not like the main hotel areas don’t have fast food outlets nearby.

Say they will have their pocket money docked for every event they cause you to miss out on.

I remember Disney being very overwhelming when we took the teenage kids, we even missed out on one ticketed activity towards the end. Sorry no advice, but I can't believe the ppl still harping on about their education when you explained earlier on! Hoping it gets better 😎

Try setting some reasonable patameters and then leave the two older boys to get on with their day.

You and 13 year old go out together.

List the days activities that have been paid for for all to see on the breakfast table.

Have agreed get out of bed time. Pull open blinds to Sunlight.

Agree to meet for lunch at xx.

Agree on dinner place and time.
(If older boys are home early, they cook dinner for you all.)

Ask the older boys where lunch will be.
Have youngest and you decide dinner.

No phones at meal times.
No scrolling on phones after dinner or before lunch.

I haven't read all the replies yet. But I do feel for you op. I think op means she has been out and fed the ones who came and shouldn't have to feed the one who stayed behind. I quite agree with op, they are 16 or 18 and if been room based on a phone they can feed themselves! Are you the only adult/parent there?

Who said I expected the holiday to be a success? Dont make things up as you go along.

I would be really upset.
They are old enough to be told that their behaviour is unacceptable and that it is your holiday too.

Most kids (and adults) would dream of having a holiday in Florida or just a holiday and it’s something that the majority can never afford.
They are being spoilt and do not recognise their privilege.

That being said, if they’re out on sun loungers on their phones then I don’t see the issue - most people lie there doing nothing or reading a book. So it’s no different.

I would also compromise and give them down time and later starts - when you read them the riot act say this too.

If it’s a paid activity that starts at a certain time, then they need to be up and ready for it. No one stays back.
Sell it as a photo shoot opportunity that they can post on SM too.

If it’s something that can be shifted, then start and finish later to suit their body clocks.

On down days, they do not need to be in the pool if they don’t want to be.

If you are naturally up early, then perhaps use that time to go swimming with the youngest and have some you time. You could also think about meal prepping and so it’s just a case of them warming their dinner up in the evening.

I would tell them to sort their outfits etc the night before and give them 20mins to get ready in the morning.
Give them a time that you will all leave by, then it’s up to them to decide whether they want to get up earlier to have more time getting ready.

They are being spoilt, however they do not understand how privileged they are and perhaps that’s down to you and DH and you cannot blame them fully.
You also need to remember that this is a tough age where they’re insecure, tired and sensitive. And it’s nothing personal to you.

I feel like I live in bizarro world sometimes: ITS THE PHONES. Most of the parents today have collective insanity on this issue. I just can’t believe parents don’t impose limits. And yes I have teens who get limited time on their phones, and on holiday whole phone-free days!

You said it op

So the suggestions to throw the phone in the pool; remove the phone; demand they’re ready by x time…. Is daft.

Leave this adult be

So they’re not usually like this
this is a complete shock and has only started since they arrived on this holiday

Well, it would seem this holiday isn’t their cup of tea OP. It’s a shame. It’s a waste. But what you gonna do… force them to enjoy it?

Your youngest needs to get with the programme and not dig her heels in because her siblings don’t want to do what she WANTS to do (stamps feet).

And your older two are adults. They aren’t enjoying the holiday. Maybe they have personal shit going on? Just make the best of it.

Remove the phones. Hope you managed to have a good time.

So you withdrew your youngest from mainstream school? Because you’ve been all over mumsnet in the past talking about her school?

Nonsense

It was about parenting in general rather than teens specifically.

We paid the flights (cheap); they paid the rest. One of them is a musician (dodgy finances but getting better) and the other works for a charity on a moderate income, but they both live in London so they have little disposable income.

🤔

Having trouble sleeping, are we?

Teens do this. Let them get on with it and enjoy your own holiday.