Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

Please, please do not invite her for Christmas. You are a narcissist, and she knows it. You left her to care for your mother with dementia all these years and then vanished from their lives over the past Christmases. She may forgive because she believes she has a bond with you as her sister. But she needs to see clearly who you truly are and understand that if she goes to your house at Christmas, her presence will be inconvenient for you. She needs to grasp this with all the clarity and coldness possible so that, after the shock, she can recover some dignity in her life. Honestly, I pity you for having three children. She has her whole life ahead of her to reinvent herself, enjoy life, and be happy. You will probably end up just a suburban, boring, and controlling mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother.
I had a similar experience two years ago, but with my “best” friend (a friendship of over 20 years; I am godmother to her daughter), who chose to be cruel to me under the guise of boundaries and self-care — a relationship full of red flags that I had ignored in the name of long-term friendship. The best thing she ever did was to be brutally herself when I was miserable, allowing me to see her true colours and free myself forever from a selfish, nasty person. It lifted an enormous weight from my shoulders, no longer having to sustain a friendship full of abuse.
And finally, I feel I’m not really writing for the OP — she clearly doesn’t care — but rather in the hope it might help others, just as many of the answers here have helped me work through my own resentments.

Aren't they a bit old for Disneyland etc?

What can I say? I’m an over achiever!

I'm often entertained by how aeriated some posters get at kids missing school to go on holiday. It shows genuine devotion to the cause to try and keep that going long after OP has confirmed there's no school involved here, on the basis that there used to be. Many would've given up at that point. You've set a high bar there!

The problem is everyone is different regardless of what holiday you go on we all have different interests should sit down and have a chat about what they enjoy and each person pick a day trip as for phones they are brainwashing they are great for a lot of things but there is a time and a place for everything

I took my teens at Easter this year just me and my daughters 14 &16 my wife stayed home with the dog. They're teens so I set out my expectations & gave them a copy of what we needed to do and when. We booked 6 parks - day 1 after arriving the previous evening - no agenda - day pottering about - well driving about - shops, etc. They had a list of American diners/Fast food they wanted to try, like Raising Cane's, etc, so we built that in. Day 2 Discovery cove - ealry start - they knew this - no issues, day 3 disney world - earlyish start - no issues - day 4 - chill day - sat by the pool, went to a shopping mall - and so on - you know your kids rhythms - you just have to let them have chill time etc...my oldest teen at the end of the park days was begging to go to sleep and she's usually the one that can stay up all night.

My wife took them to France for a few days and they behaved exactly like yours did - it's about not nagging/moaning at them and making sure they know what's expected when. Rushing them down to breakfast at 8am is not my idea of fun either on holiday.

They sound selfish and unempathetic. Saying they “don’t seem to understand” the expense of the holiday…. They are plenty old enough to understand. Especially the two that have their own money!

Feeling the love! 😆

Ok I might sounds smug but mine aren’t and I don’t get the impression my children’s friends are either. They have their moments but I don’t recognise this. I wasn’t awful as a teen either.

Welcome to the 'glamorous' world of teenagers. They're a nightmare.

And that particular one is so daft that she's still carrying it on after OP has confirmed they're not in school!

Exactly ! Always at least one judgemental twat

Go away, you're not helping.

@WatermelonWaveclub id have removed the phones at the get go.

I went on holiday to Florida at 13/14 and I behaved awful too . It is full on and I too wanted to stay behind but wasn’t allowed .
I remember wanting all the parks etc but after one day of it I was exhausted . For me I wanted a busy day and a pool /local day .
I loved America although looking back I was maybe a little overwhelmed too.

Ive been back since and I enjoyed it on a more relaxed note .

Back to the phones they really are addictive . Once removed they will have a new interest in joining you.

Good post

Why is it nonsense?

See we love a chill holiday and rarely do anything for the whole day. We often pick one activity in the afternoon as we want to relax as well. Our teenagers like this too. We'll sometimes split up and do something smaller in the morning with whoever wants to come.

My parents would see that as a massive waste of money as they were always super busy on holidays.

Maybe you need to plan fewer activities.

Throwing their phones in the hotel pool

I mean

nonsense

Probably because they're 16 and 18 and not babies!

I think you need to deal with your youngest, to be honest. At 13 they’re old enough to understand that their siblings are being arses and they either stay with them or get a move on and come with you!!

I’d tell the oldest exactly his much this has cost and that you’re not impressed with the lying in the room all day shenanigans. I wouldn’t tolerate this from my DS17. I expect that he’s up early and out with us on trips that he said he wanted to do - he can chill for a couple of hours at 5pm when we’re back.

And ignore the comments about not sharing a room with teens - when DS1 was 18 and DS2 was 10 we were in the US and we only had separate rooms for part of the holiday in a wooden chalet in Cape Cod. While in NY, Boston, DC etc we just got a family room.

Genuine question.
If this is the first time the kids are behaving like this, and 18yo chose Florida for his sisters, have you outright asked him why he's suddenly acting like this? Is it not what he expected? He is bored? Is he wanting to do anything while there?
I would assume at any age they'd find something they'd enjoy there and if it's out of character then I'd be curious as to why he's / they are acting like this.

Good idea - give them info about things to do and get each of them to choose an activity. (Don’t best yourself up though - this is fairly typical behaviour to be fair but such a shame)

If you’re being unreasonable, it’s mainly to yourself. The older teens won’t have their full empathy development yet (not till mid twenties) so expecting them to see it your way is a good way to frustration.

I don’t know what your budget is but there is so much there for older teens. Halloween Horror Nights at Universal allow children 13 and over in so you could all go and enjoy the rides in the dark at Universal Studios. Even if you skip the Haunted Houses, there’s Death Eaters in Diagon Alley and amazing additional shows just for the event.

Also, Epic Universe has just opened there this summer, not sure if you’ve visited but if your older teens loved Rise of the Resistance then they’ll love the dark rides there, Harry Potter and Universal Monsters (same ride system as the older Forbidden Journey ride in Islands of Adventures). Plus they have some brilliant brand new coasters at Epic if that’s their thing.

Teens don’t have the empathy or life experience to regret the waste of your money. Some of the advice about taking phones off them is clearly from either non parents or parents who have not yet experienced the “joy” of navigating teenagers and remaining sane. If there’s a Disney lesson here, it has to be from Frozen. Get to your ice palace and let it go :D. Trying to control what’s not in your control (how they act, how they respond) is ruining what sounds like a rather expensive holiday. Hope it gets better and enjoy the sunshine @WatermelonWaveclub

If you’re being unreasonable, it’s mainly to yourself. The older teens won’t have their full empathy development yet (not till mid twenties) so expecting them to see it your way is a good way to frustration.

I don’t know what your budget is but there is so much there for older teens. Halloween Horror Nights at Universal allow children 13 and over in so you could all go and enjoy the rides in the dark at Universal Studios. Even if you skip the Haunted Houses, there’s Death Eaters in Diagon Alley and amazing additional shows just for the event.

Also, Epic Universe has just opened there this summer, not sure if you’ve visited but if your older teens loved Rise of the Resistance then they’ll love the dark rides there, Harry Potter and Universal Monsters (same ride system as the older Forbidden Journey ride in Islands of Adventures). Plus they have some brilliant brand new coasters at Epic if that’s their thing.

Teens don’t have the empathy or life experience to regret the waste of your money. Some of the advice about taking phones off them is clearly from either non parents or parents who have not yet experienced the “joy” of navigating teenagers and remaining sane. If there’s a Disney lesson here, it has to be from Frozen. Get to your ice palace and let it go :D. Trying to control what’s not in your control (how they act, how they respond) is ruining what sounds like a rather expensive holiday. Hope it gets better and enjoy the sunshine @WatermelonWaveclub

The last time we went to Florida the DCs were 14 and 15.
They did spend time on their phones but they got up when I asked them as, I’m sure you know, getting to the parks early saves a lot of stress in the long run.
We didn’t spend very much time in the hotel room or villa so their phone time was minimal and they knew phones at the table are not allowed.
To whoever suggested that they’re too old for Disney…there’s loads to do and Universal is perfect for their age group.
Try and relax OP, holidays are never exactly how you expect them to be.