Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

I believe you should make them do the family stuff whether they want to or not oh well they'll thank you when they get older and I have those memories and traditions so they can pass on to their children. Whether they want to or not is not an option. Point Blank you're going to get up and you're going to go or I'm not you're not going to be peacefully sleeping then and I'm going to be uncomfortable miserable and you are also I will complain and b at you until you will do whatever it takes for me to shut up. I would make them do those family things because that is important maybe a schedule some later in the afternoon because teens are young and you are only in once they do like to stay up later so instead of doing things early planet for later in the afternoon there's lots of things you can do in the afternoon but I would make them do it because those are memories that you want to have to pass on. What day when you're not around anymore don't be glad that they did those things and that you made them do them. And laugh enjoy yourself don't sweat the small stuff it doesn't have to be perfect you waste so much time I know I did try and just to make everything a certain way and then I realize I can't remember any of you in it once I started relaxing and enjoying myself at the event and stop worrying about the little details like you know pick your battles don't sweat the small stuff life is short it goes by so quick enjoy it while you can. I have a 31-year-old a 23 year old a 21 year old and a 11 year old and I will tell you what I'm glad for all the things I've made them do and my 31 year old has said he is glad I made him do certain things. Life is short make the most out of it you never know what tomorrow will bring and who it will bring with it and who it wont

So true 🤣🤣

Might help if you actually read the OPs posts she's explained this numerous times...

I love MN

This thread seems to be

• 60% School!!!!!!!
• 25% Disney is illegal for humans older than <insert single-digit age>
• 14% Self-invented fantasies about hard-done-by teenagers being dragged against their will to destinations and activities not chosen by them
• 1% People who actually read the OP's posts.

I think we’ve made the decision that this summer was our last holiday with our kids (17,19) at least until they’re more mature and don’t want to lie in bed half the day.
You have to just get on and do things without them, don’t wake them up, don’t give them the option of coming if they haven’t made the effort. We did this in July with our older teens and they were astounded we went off and did things without them, it seemed to make them put more effort in though.

My thoughts exactly. I didn’t mind Florida but I’d already been roughing it travelling for six months and all I wanted to do was lounge by a pool. I certainly wouldn’t have taken teenage children there! As others have said they’re teenagers; if they want to lie in bed and stare at their phone, which is what I’m assuming they do at home all day anyway, leave them to it.

Seems really late for them to be on holiday - aren’t schools back now? as for “having” to sort food for them, you don’t have to do anything; they chose to stay behind and miss out on the days’ activities which you have already paid for and it’s a hotel - there will be food available if they want it. Put some boundaries in place.

But you'd have agreed and shared the schedule weeks before as surely the children would have been part of developing the schedule?

But they also have different body clocks than adults and do struggle to get out of bed. When we went we'd do half a day at the park, back for a rest / swim or whatever and then we went back at night - we were however at a hotel really near Universal so could walk in. If it is their first week of school they be slightly conflicted as they are missing out. That would have worried me as a teenager.

Can people not read?
None of them are enrolled in school.
They are not missing any school.
I feel like banging my head against the wall on the OPs behalf.

I've never been to any of the Disney parks but I've always thought they are theme parks that have massive rides like Alton Towers etc does.
Surely they are the perfect age for those sorts of rides?

Not necessarily although kids tend to get over it quicker. I’ve flown this route over a hundred times and I have suffered zero or for 4-5 days. Yeah they may be lazy but as young people tiredness can be mitigated easier.

OMG take the phones off them already!

If you’ve shelled out a boatload for this holiday but aren’t setting reasonable ground rules for it, then not a lot of sympathy for the complaints tbh.

As others have noted, this can’t really be new behaviour - did you expect they would suddenly change their stripes because they were on holiday?

And don’t they have school?

Clearwater beach is lovely OP, they will enjoy there and there isn't a set timetable with something to do so they can wander at their own pace. There are evening concerts some days.

@mugglewump

can you read?

Did you give them a choice to miss the first crucial weeks of term on holiday or stay home? What made you think they would even be interested in all that tacky stuff? This is your dream holiday, not theirs. Each day, tell them the plan and when you are leaving and they can choose to come or not. If they want to laze by the pool, they can. Personally, I think you have made a poor choice, making them miss school and taking them somewhere you really wanted to go which they are clearly not interested in.

Commiserations back in the nineties early noughties, we were taking our then teens to wonderful places in the US and Europe, one of whom was never grateful the older he became. In fact on one occasion crossing the Atlantic, aged about 15, he told us "I hope you appreciate that I'm giving up time spent with my mates to come on holiday with you" that time was generally spent hanging around in car parks, having clubbed together to buy a chow mein between several of them, sitting on walls and sometimes actually doing something which was roller blading some moves along a greased up pole on one of their
driveways, often ours. Fast forward over 20 years, eldest decided to start a family in his mid twenties and has been skint ever since, affording holidays at all has been sketchy since then, they did go to one of the Greek Islands this year. His continual refrain nowadays, "I'd love to go to some of the places we were taken as children, if I could turn back the clock, I'd appreciate those holidays so much more. In retrospect I was an ungrateful arse" So there you have it, ungrateful teens, nothing new, they tend to change attitudes with maturity, I hope your day will come when yours appreciate how fortunate they were.

Teens are naturally selfish and it's up to you as the parent to set boundaries. Either you let them have the holiday they want, not the one you want, or you stop pandering to them.

Yes, my phone glitched while I was replying and I accidentally posted in the wrong thread! I tried to delete it but couldn’t figure out how. Soooorry lol.

Anyway, I have a teenage son — he’s as ungrateful as any teenager! I just do what I have to and carry on with my life. 🤣

It sounds like this issue isn’t helped by your 13yo insisting on the older siblings coming on all the activities. I’m a 3rd sibling so I do understand this. I much preferred holidays when my older siblings came along, but she is old enough now to understand that for the next couple of years, shes going to have to do some things with just her parents. At least her older siblings are actually there and she can see them in the evenings.

@Hiptothisjive

you get over jet lag in about 2 days. Even if you’re still feeling a bit rough with it , you don’t just lay in bed all day - what a waste!
perhaps they are just….lazy

Just leave them in the hotel and go off and do your own thing, Op.

have a lovely time! 🍹

@WatermelonWaveclub

It was the 18 year old's choice for their birthday!!

This thread is about 3 children on holiday with their mum in Florida, @Lapigona . I think you posted your reply on the wrong thread.

Was going to say this. It sounds like you have a lot booked around Disney which is fine for a 13 yr old, at a push, but the older teens won't be remotely interested. I can totally understand them rather just chilling around a pool. Sound like you have far too much planned tbh, and why this insistence that they must swim, just why? It's perfectly fine to get up a bit later on holiday and looking at phones on the sunbed at the pool is just the same as reading a book by the pool. Just another way to relax on holiday. Maybe just acknowledge that the plans you made aren't working for your family and all take time to sit and agree on some new plans going forward so everyone gets to do something they want to do.

If you usually allow them to spend their lives on their phones then that isn't magically going to change when they go on holiday. You need to remove the phones from them until they are dressed and ready to go out.

You need to be the parent here, you are in charge not them. Make it clear that anyone who stays behind will have to fend for themselves food wise and that you will not be sorting food when you get back.

Don't spoil the day for the youngest, go out as planned and arrange a time and place for the others to meet you. Stress if they aren't there after 15 mins then you will be moving on.

Teens are addicted to phones because their parents have allowed it to happen.

YANBU for being frustrated.

YABU for even giving them the choice.