Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

I once worked with a solicitor in his mid-50s who went to Disney every year. He went on all the big rides and the shows, as well as Seaworld and others. He reckoned there was no such thing as "too old" for having fun!

This is why mine won’t be having smartphones until at least age 16 :(

I can't believe the people saying the kids are "too old" for Disney. There isnt an age imit plus they wanted to go.

🤣🤣🤣

I would tell them what activities you have planned, ask do they fancy doing x activities or what activities they fancy. We have an 18 yeat old that doesn't come away with us but im sure she would to Disney. Our 21 would old im sure would too, it is about expectations and what they want to get out of the holiday for all.

Teenagers give no fucks to anyone!! Plain and simple! But apparently you just have let them do their thing, especially dance all over your boundaries AND talk to you like pure shite!!

It depends what kind of activities you had lined up too. They probably feel they’re too old for Disneyland and are clued up how bad Seaworld is

Err colleges take 16-18 year olds without the silly fines if you take time off. The 18 year old could be starting uni later this month

The elder 2 may not even be at school

They're not being selfish. SHE is being selfish for forcing them to do things they don't want to do while they're on holiday!!!!

If they want to lounge around at the apartment, LET them, it's THEIR holiday too!

Also that (vague) rule is only for England.
Scotland, NI and Wales the leaving age is 16.
The OP hasn't said they live in England.
(that's more for @TheCheekyCyanHelper)

Yeah, exactly this!

Sorry but.. the whole point of a holiday is doing what you want to do to relax isn't it? Not spending 2 weeks doing what someone else's idea of fun is?

Did you even ask them before you booked this holiday? Probably an all inclusive resort in Spain or similar would have been better, as you could all just chill and do your own thing.

A Florida holiday is never relaxing as it's just a huge list of things to tick off a list!

Well no they are not they have to be in education or training which is often NOT in a school .

The other thing you could do is sit them all down, talk about how the holiday has not worked well so far and see if you can do a reset and compromise together. See if you can come up with a revised plan that everyone can agree to. Maybe some of the things you have booked and paid for can be non-negotiable, but in return they can have a say over other things e.g., where to eat, what to do in their downtime etc.

I stand corrected. I made that comment because I think it’s unsettling for kids to miss the start of a new school year. Presumably the 13 year old is homeschooled as OP states none are in school.

Because most are....

This sounds completely normal for teens that age on vacation. No teen wants to wake up early, no matter what is on the agenda. This is exactly how I was on our last family trip to Florida when I was 16. I wanted to sleep in. Had little interest in the planned activities. So my mom took my sister to the beach and stuff, while I chilled out at the apartment.

That sounds super annoying, but I'd take control of the situation and set some boundaries. Eg I'm feeling frustrated at having spent so much money on this trip for us to have a nice family time together and it feels like you aren't making much effort to make the most of it.

From now on I'm setting some new boundaries: 1) Tomorrow, we are doing X and leaving at X time. If you're not ready, we will leave without you. 2) If you choose not to come and we eat when we are out, I will not be providing any food for you until our next meal time when we are all together. OR, I will give you $20 and you can figure out your own food for the day. I will not be getting involved. 3) If you do decide to come along, be gracious and pleasant, or I will do X (consequence that you are willing to carry out).

You can't make them be less selfish, but you can choose how you respond and whether you reinforce that behavior or make their lives more difficult as a result.

Why ?
The Op has said the oldest two are in college
Why would you think an 18 year would be in school anyway🤔

Typical mumsnet response
Not all 18 year olds do Alevels, mind blowing i know 🙄

Don't waste your time, money or energy again. Yes ungrateful.
Why is it the norm for everyone to be on their phone, even when out with friends, children etc. It's so rude and what the heck are they looking at? Learning to speak Cantonese, helpful, no just awful shite.

This thread definitely needs more people trying to make it about missing school, even though the OP has said none of them go and one of them is 18 anyway.

I’m more concerned that they should all be at school…

Do the youngest 2 have screen times? Phones are quire addictive.

is it quite intense? Are they allowed to have a a bit of a lay in, eg leaving and 11am instead of 9am? Lowering your expectations a bit, Knowing you won’t be able to fit everything,

I will expect then in bed by 12night, up by 10am and out by 11am. We do prefer airbnbs/self catering for this reason than hotels. More space, independence.

If the oldest one wants to stay I wont be sorting out meals; he is 18 already. I will not give the youngest two a choice. They have to be up and ready.

I was this ungrateful teenager many years ago - my parents took us on big holidays and I was always just wishing to be at home hanging out in the park with my mates and boyfriend. It’s just their age - they won’t be like this forever. Dont take them again or just do a very short break somewhere closer to home.