Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ungrateful Teens on Florida holiday

536 replies

WatermelonWaveclub · 13/09/2025 18:54

I brought my 3 teens (18, 16 and 13) to Florida to celebrate my eldest's 18th. Honestly it has been a nightmare. Every morning they refuse to get up. We end up leaving for the day's activity hours late. At least one usually refuses to come. Then we end up rushing around with the youngest upset we don't have time to do everything they want. When we get home late and I just want to sleep I am expected to sort food for whoever stayed back at the hotel. Then they stay up late keeping me awake. I'm exhausted!

The main thing they seem to want to do is stay in bed on their phones! Noone seems to worry about wasting a lot of money on activities they don't attend or any thought to making the most of a holiday they are very lucky to be on! No care about me missing out on things I'd like to do or their sibling would like to do. They were fully aware of what the holiday would involve and said they would like to go on the holiday. For example they knew there would be a lot of swimming. One has point blank refused to swim and the other 2 will swim hypothetically but have not once been in the hotel pool with me in almost a week and both just layed on sunloungers on their phones at the water park yesterday.

How would you deal with this situation?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
WatermelonWaveclub · 27/09/2025 12:42

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:28

my kids loved it - they were dancing in the rain!

including the 18 year old DS?!

He was the one who enjoyed it the most! 😂

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 27/09/2025 12:41

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:27

You do realise posts are time stamped don’t you op?

Yes!

OP posts:
Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:44

Needmorelego · 18/09/2025 14:41

Do 18 year olds not enjoy dancing in the rain ?

I’ll ask my 18 year old son tonight 😆

Needmorelego · 18/09/2025 14:41

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:28

my kids loved it - they were dancing in the rain!

including the 18 year old DS?!

Do 18 year olds not enjoy dancing in the rain ?

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:28

my kids loved it - they were dancing in the rain!

including the 18 year old DS?!

Returnlamp · 18/09/2025 14:27

WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 16:27

I've been on Mumsnet only about 3 times in the evening for maybe an hour. In taxi on a long drive now. So nice try but I'm not on my phone all the time - I'm out doing things everyday!

You do realise posts are time stamped don’t you op?

WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 22:58

LakotaWolf · 15/09/2025 08:15

I’m American, and while I live on the opposite coast from Florida (I live in Southern California), I am VERY familiar with Florida’s weather. People, even Americans, don’t realize that Florida is technically part of “the American South”, which means it is humid, muggy, and disgustingly hot during the summer months, and often well into autumn.

i understand your DS wanted to go for his birthday, but I’m assuming you’re all British and aren’t even remotely used to the grotesquerie that is Florida weather around this time of year.

Not only is it usually somewhere around 30C during the day, it’s so humid that you could probably get your daily hydration intake requirements just by breathing. This means that doing anything feels NASTY, as high temperatures plus high humidity saps your energy, enthusiasm, and your will to live.

To make matters worse, it rains in Florida during the summer/autumn. Like all the time. And thunderstorms and lightning. If you’ve never experienced a rainy day that is high-temperature, it’s awful. People who have never endured “hot day rain” don’t realize that it’s WORSE than “cold day rain”. Your body is like, “wait, the air temperature is warm, I should be drying off” but NOPE, it’s RAINING! Or even if the rain has stopped, the humidity is still 85% so it’s not like you’re going to dry off.

My sister and her friend just got back from a trip to Florida (sister’s friend’s kids live in Miami) and my sister and her friend were physically miserable the whole time. My sister also said they left “just in time”, because apparently a storm is approaching.

I don’t know if you/your DC have been to Florida/the American south/Southeast Asia during the hot and rainy periods, but it’s life-sapping. I would personally never willingly schedule a vacation to those areas during the rainy season.

IMO the situation/your DCs behavior is partially just that your DC ARE being teenagers (despite you insisting they’ve been perfect angels on all previous holidays), but I think a large part of the issue IS that it’s the nasty season in Florida right now, and they probably feel tired, sapped of life and energy, and gross. And being indoors does NOT always help mitigate the effects of a hot and humid climate, but they probably do feel better in the hotel where there’s air conditioning.

You also keep going on about them not going to school - and while I agree that that has no literal bearing on a vacation, it DOES have bearing on their behavior. If they’re homeschooled/have never gone to public school, that does affect their attitude and behavior (i would know; my mother pulled me out of public schooling when I was 13 and it messed me up socially) and you may be seeing new behaviors start to crop up now that they’re on a stressful holiday.

We're used to 100% humidity where we live and no air con so while yes, it's hot, in general we find it much more bearable due to air con than UK weather!

I find the rain lovely too, nice and refreshing. Cold day rain is definitely worse! You just stay cold and wet. Here you just dry off super quick. We did have one proper storm as we were leaving Magic Kingdom - my kids loved it - they were dancing in the rain! I really love the Florida weather and while I think my son has found it a bit hot sometimes, in all honesty I have always found it a lovely climate! I don't understand why they were physically miserable did they not have a nice cold drink, use a fan or go inside? Not criticising, I've heard many Americans express the same but we were all talking about it and none of us have had that experience atall, luckily.

I have no way said they are perfect angels, only I had not experienced THIS particular dynamic before.

And I'm sorry you are 'messed up socially'. Things are very different in the states, though. I'm not quite sure what you mean about not attending school affecting their education. My children have all been at school in the past and all have plenty of friends (hence using phones!!). My youngest is home educated, middle at SEN college and eldest starting a higher apprenticeship.

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 16:32

Thank you for all those who gave me sensible advice. Things have improved - I think really clear communication has really helped. We've agreed on the non-negotiables and the leaving times. My youngest is clear on what is happening and when it might just be me and her so getting ready calmly. The eldest was brewing a cold which I think hasn't helped his energy levels. But actually most days they have come out so we're all much happier!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 16:27

SilverCamellia · 15/09/2025 08:09

Maybe they see you on your phone all the time and think it’s accepted behaviour. If I was in Florida I don’t think I would be wasting so much time posting on Mumsnet.

I've been on Mumsnet only about 3 times in the evening for maybe an hour. In taxi on a long drive now. So nice try but I'm not on my phone all the time - I'm out doing things everyday!

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 16:23

GlitteryRainbow · 15/09/2025 08:00

I’d charge them the cost of the activities they’ve missed. Tell them you are leaving at whatever time you need to for the activities and you and the youngest enjoy yourselves and don’t miss out. Make clear you aren’t cooking when you get in so if they don’t have whatever catering is on offer they don’t eat unless they make it themselves. The oldest is now an adult. Time to learn some life lessons.

They actually are quite happy to order and pay for a takeaway themselves but it hsd annoyed me that they had wanted me to go down to the lobby to collect it for them!!

OP posts:
MyElatedUmberFinch · 17/09/2025 14:15

WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 13:46

Yes, only parent

Has the holiday got any better?

Sleepeye · 17/09/2025 13:51

WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 13:46

Yes, only parent

So they’ll have known that all this would have paid by by you. I too am a single parent and although my teens are no saints, they know how everything is on me and they appreciate it

WatermelonWaveclub · 17/09/2025 13:46

Sparkle849 · 15/09/2025 07:23

I haven't read all the replies yet. But I do feel for you op. I think op means she has been out and fed the ones who came and shouldn't have to feed the one who stayed behind. I quite agree with op, they are 16 or 18 and if been room based on a phone they can feed themselves! Are you the only adult/parent there?

Yes, only parent

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 17/09/2025 11:26

@Ella3895 I put that post because people were STILL going on about it despite the OP repeatedly saying it wasn't an issue.
She never said it originally so people questioned it. Ok that's fine but she replied several times that none are in school so not missing any.
But yet poster after poster still kept saying "why aren't they in school?".
My post was a light-hearted one about people clearly not reading the thread.
🙂

LoopyLoo1991 · 17/09/2025 10:52

I was dragged to Florida ages 12 by my foster parents as foster mum wanted to go to Disney world. I was bored out of my frigging mind and kept getting hit on by the local teen lads.
And being a fair skinned redhead, I got terrible sunburn. I mostly stayed in the kids club at the hotel playing the free arcade machines and playing pool. Foster mum enjoyed herself up untill she got mugged.
Worst holiday ever. We went to Dorset the next year and it was much more fun!
Teens wanna teen - don't waste money on expensive holidays if they don't want to engage.
And never holiday in Florida ... or America ... ever ... especially with that 🦧 in the fecking whitehouse ... 🤬

Ella3895 · 17/09/2025 10:14

Needmorelego · 16/09/2025 23:58

Ermm..... about a billion people were going on about them "missing school".
I was pointing out that several times the OP stated her children were not missing any school - yet people still kept going on and on about it.
It was irrelevant to the OPs issues and so frustrating that people kept bringing it up over and ruddy over.
I'm not quite sure why you felt my comment needed quoting 🤔

Equally unsure why you quoted mine? It also doesn't seem like you engaged with what I said?

I'm aware a number of of people were mentioning missing school; I was one of them. I quoted you because you were saying you didn't understand why and implying we had missed something incredibly obvious. In response, I noted that the original post says precisely nothing about school or the lack thereof. Without that information, it's quite reasonable for people to wonder why a bunch of teenagers are on holiday in Florida in mid-September.

I could only assume the school question is addressed in a response somewhere, but as I said in my first message, given the number of comments on this thread, most people are obviously not going to read them all before responding, so implying we're somehow all being wildly dumb and frustrating is a bit of an overreaction.

zingally · 17/09/2025 09:29

WatermelonWaveclub · 16/09/2025 11:52

A part of it is Disney. But they just like what they like, they don't care if it is 'cringy'. I took them to Disney when they were little too and really enjoyed it though I was well under 37!

Well, it clearly isn't "just what they like", because according to your OP, they've had zero interest in this holiday!

Sleepeye · 17/09/2025 07:03

FunBiscuit · 17/09/2025 05:03

I never go on holiday can not afford it I work full time but by the time I pay the bills no money left but at least I have a roof over my head food I lived in USA 20 years when we lived in Florida my son was a member of the solar bears hockey team he won a lot of competitions skateboarding had to start daycare at 8 weeks no benefits in USA work or live on the street but living in Orlando Florida we were never bored you can do anything you want to do there it is a amazing place

I mean…. wtf??

Sleepeye · 17/09/2025 06:48

Disney

Because it was where my 18yo wanted to go.

Turns out…. He didn’t. He had an idea of what it was going to be and now he’s arrived… he just wants to sit in the hotel and be on his phone. It is fine to be disappointed. But he should at least slap on a smile and try.

Sadly it he looks like he has reached 18, so an adult, and he can’t even muster the effort despite it clearly meaning a great deal to his younger sister and mother. Not a great sign.

RubySquid · 17/09/2025 05:42

QuiltPlantCandle · 16/09/2025 15:44

My 23 year old is still on my phone plan. She is a recent university graduate still getting herself situated in life and I don't mind helping out. When she was 18 she certainly wouldn't have the funds to pay for her own phone!

£7.60 a month my DS pays

FunBiscuit · 17/09/2025 05:03

I never go on holiday can not afford it I work full time but by the time I pay the bills no money left but at least I have a roof over my head food I lived in USA 20 years when we lived in Florida my son was a member of the solar bears hockey team he won a lot of competitions skateboarding had to start daycare at 8 weeks no benefits in USA work or live on the street but living in Orlando Florida we were never bored you can do anything you want to do there it is a amazing place

Agespot · 17/09/2025 03:03

WatermelonWaveclub · 15/09/2025 04:45

Because it was where my 18yo wanted to go. My children enjoy swimming, rollercoasters, food from different countries - your 19yo may not but we are all different!

My best holiday was Disney, I was 22, ok a little older but I was a young 22, everyone is different and id still love to go again
I think your being a great mum whose just trying to make everyone happy and I hope you know that your making memories. These will be cherished.
The bad comments are from people who just wish they could have this holiday.
just try not to worry, try and relax

Needmorelego · 16/09/2025 23:58

Ella3895 · 16/09/2025 23:43

Nowhere in the post does it say anything about school. Not sure where you got that from - unless it’s in a later reply, but there are about a bazillion replies on this, so people are very reasonably not going to read every single one before responding!

Ermm..... about a billion people were going on about them "missing school".
I was pointing out that several times the OP stated her children were not missing any school - yet people still kept going on and on about it.
It was irrelevant to the OPs issues and so frustrating that people kept bringing it up over and ruddy over.
I'm not quite sure why you felt my comment needed quoting 🤔

Ella3895 · 16/09/2025 23:43

Needmorelego · 15/09/2025 12:22

Can people not read?
None of them are enrolled in school.
They are not missing any school.
I feel like banging my head against the wall on the OPs behalf.

Nowhere in the post does it say anything about school. Not sure where you got that from - unless it’s in a later reply, but there are about a bazillion replies on this, so people are very reasonably not going to read every single one before responding!

Mumofmarauders · 16/09/2025 20:46

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/09/2025 22:09

I've got a 19 year old. We asked him what his favourite holiday ever was, convinced that he'd pick one of our 2 US family road trips. What was his answer? His trip to Malaga after his A-levels last year with his mates. It wasn't even a Shagaluf type holiday, they're not that kind of lads, and one of them had taken his girlfriend anyway (who they all knew from school). He said "the airbnb was epic - it had 4 pianos". None of them even play the piano. 😂

Honestly, they're just weird, teens and young adults....

There is something so sweet about this. 4 pianos 😂

I’d be gutted and cross too OP but I’m sure the “leave them to it and have a great time with your 13 yo” advice is correct.