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Original poster

I am scared my husband will be beaten or worse

178 replies

Flightsandfeelings · 13/09/2025 17:38

I am married to a man who is brown and from Asia, he's been in UK 10 years and is a citizen. I am English and have always lived in the UK.
We are leaving where we live to move closer to my parents, which I am happy about for many reasons one being where we live right now is an incredibly hostile and racist place. One of the worst in all of the UK and has been for some time.
The area we are moving to is nice enough and we should be safe in our home l, which we aren't really now.

I am scared everyday when my husband goes out that he will be assaulted for being brown with an accent. I am also scared the same will be the case for when we move with the uptake in angry, mindless fake-news concerning people who look like him.

He is shouted at and people are aggressive already and we've both seen how it has gotten worse. Where we live people are burnt of their homes for not being white so my view of all this is coloured by that but not unfairly so.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 13/09/2025 18:15

mushroomsoupandcoke · 13/09/2025 17:47

Typical white privilege, being unaware on what’s going on around them.

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Like other posters, I've also not read, seen or heard in the news or on social media of people being burned out of their homes. It hasn't happened in my city - and trust me I would know. So short of actually travelling around the country to personally look for those instances, how the fuck are people supposed to know? Since you are obviously devoid of any white privilege and have your finger firmly on the pulse of current affairs, perhaps you'd care to provide a link to these atrocities? And just for reference I'm mixed race so white privilege doesn't apply.

Hairyfairy01 · 13/09/2025 18:15

I’m so sorry you feel like this OP. You and your family would be very welcome on my street too.

SunnyD4ys · 13/09/2025 18:14

Flightsandfeelings · 13/09/2025 17:51

I dont want to say where we live as it would be outing, but there have been and continue to be attacks such as this. After a few they stopped being reported.

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That doesn't make sense, if it's a widespread issue how could saying where you live be outing?

You can't be the only Asian family or there wouldn't be multiple homes to be set on fire

I live near a very multicultural area and I've never heard of this happening in the local news and I can't believe it wouldn't be reported

Alicelucy9 · 13/09/2025 18:14

Barnbrack · 13/09/2025 18:12

In small towns close to where my family are from Asian nurses and their families were burnt out of their houses by neighbours. Not knowing about it is a bit shameful and insular in itself

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It's not shameful to not know something, especially if it's not widely reported in the national news. People aren't psychic.

Peteryourhorseisheree · 13/09/2025 18:14

Flightsandfeelings · 13/09/2025 17:51

I dont want to say where we live as it would be outing, but there have been and continue to be attacks such as this. After a few they stopped being reported.

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It really wouldn’t be outing, but I understand why you wouldn’t want to say.

I am half Indian and I’ve had abuse chucked at me all of my 46 years, on and off.

Am I scared though? Nope. And I live in an absolute dog box of a place.

Hoppinggreen · 13/09/2025 18:14

Flightsandfeelings · 13/09/2025 18:05

I so hope where we are moving to has this attitude.

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While as a white person I wouldn't dream of telling anyone who isn't what is and isn't racism I live in a very multicultural place and I haven't heard about any attacks like that around here.
Nobody in my immediate area would care what colour your DH was and you would be very welcome in my street/village

Barnbrack · 13/09/2025 18:14

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 13/09/2025 18:10

I’m not questioning someone’s fear and feeling, you will see in my first post that I acknowledged those and said I understood why they felt that way.

what I am questioning is the situations the OP was describing which appear to be unverifiable. No doubt much of this has been whipped up by the far left to destabilise the country.

Violence against women and white men has also been increasing round here.

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Empty houses, broken communities: One month on from the Ballymena riots | ITV News https://share.google/bgKqgptvtBc8CXowy

Unverifiable my foot.

Readyforslippers · 13/09/2025 18:13

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 13/09/2025 18:10

I’m not questioning someone’s fear and feeling, you will see in my first post that I acknowledged those and said I understood why they felt that way.

what I am questioning is the situations the OP was describing which appear to be unverifiable. No doubt much of this has been whipped up by the far left to destabilise the country.

Violence against women and white men has also been increasing round here.

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You are questioning. There are lots of news stories outlining racist attacks. It is not a competition.

Original poster
Flightsandfeelings · 13/09/2025 18:13

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 13/09/2025 18:10

I’m not questioning someone’s fear and feeling, you will see in my first post that I acknowledged those and said I understood why they felt that way.

what I am questioning is the situations the OP was describing which appear to be unverifiable. No doubt much of this has been whipped up by the far left to destabilise the country.

Violence against women and white men has also been increasing round here.

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The attacks are verifiable, as others have said. I'm also appalled by the rise is violent crime across the board. Aren't things awful right now?

This post is about concern for my husband, though, that's why the topic is a bit more specific.

OP posts:
Barnbrack · 13/09/2025 18:12

Notsuchafattynow · 13/09/2025 18:08

Thank you for clarifying. I've genuinely not heard of these apart from something to do with a migrant hotel.

OP there are many multi cultural places in the UK that you'd feel more comfortable in. Hope you and your DH find peace.

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In small towns close to where my family are from Asian nurses and their families were burnt out of their houses by neighbours. Not knowing about it is a bit shameful and insular in itself

EmeraldShamrock000 · 13/09/2025 18:12

I have a feeling that you are living in NI? If you are, then I would move 💯 as the attacks on non nationals are disgusting.
There is areas in NI that are much safer. If you're in a loyalist area, where there is vigilante groups, I'd run anywhere.

CopperWhite · 13/09/2025 18:11

I’m sorry you are experiencing this OP. You’d be welcome on my street too, I hope. I am starting to wonder how many closet racists live amongst us, but thankfully I know very few people who would be racist enough to say it out loud.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 13/09/2025 18:10

Readyforslippers · 13/09/2025 18:02

But racist attacks aren't exactly unusual are they? I think I'd be feeling pretty uncomfortable if I was a non-white person. To be fair, I feel pretty uncomfortable with the flag situation as a white person. Why the need to question someone's fear and feelings?

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I’m not questioning someone’s fear and feeling, you will see in my first post that I acknowledged those and said I understood why they felt that way.

what I am questioning is the situations the OP was describing which appear to be unverifiable. No doubt much of this has been whipped up by the far left to destabilise the country.

Violence against women and white men has also been increasing round here.

Littlemissbubbblles · 13/09/2025 18:10

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Who are you to decide how someone else feels?

Readyforslippers · 13/09/2025 18:09

As well as in NI, there have been recent racist attacks in Norwich, Stockport and Exeter - those are just ones I've found on a quick search. As with all crimes, there will be many that don't go reported.

WishinAndHopin · 13/09/2025 18:08

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TheSandgroper · 13/09/2025 18:08

From across the world, even I thought of NI first thing. ABC here is spruiking a current affairs thingy for this week on the subject.

Notsuchafattynow · 13/09/2025 18:08

MsTamborineMan · 13/09/2025 18:05

I was going to say arson attacks reported in Northern Ireland a couple of times this summer

Thank you for clarifying. I've genuinely not heard of these apart from something to do with a migrant hotel.

OP there are many multi cultural places in the UK that you'd feel more comfortable in. Hope you and your DH find peace.

NoahDia · 13/09/2025 18:07

Flightsandfeelings · 13/09/2025 17:51

I dont want to say where we live as it would be outing, but there have been and continue to be attacks such as this. After a few they stopped being reported.

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How on earth would it be outing to tell us where in the UK people are being burnt out of their homes?

MsTamborineMan · 13/09/2025 18:05

I was going to say arson attacks reported in Northern Ireland a couple of times this summer

Original poster
Flightsandfeelings · 13/09/2025 18:05

Katemax82 · 13/09/2025 18:04

Come and live on our street you won't get any grief

I so hope where we are moving to has this attitude.

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 13/09/2025 18:04

Come and live on our street you won't get any grief

Barnbrack · 13/09/2025 18:04

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Really? Do you live under a stone? I say as a white person who grew up in northern Ireland and lives in Scotland.

Minkton · 13/09/2025 18:02

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Barnbrack · 13/09/2025 18:02

Flightsandfeelings · 13/09/2025 17:51

I dont want to say where we live as it would be outing, but there have been and continue to be attacks such as this. After a few they stopped being reported.

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Are you in northern Ireland? I am from there and the recent spare of attacks have me filled with shame.