Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How Many Children Would You Have...

243 replies

OtherS · 13/09/2025 17:38

If you had no worries about space, money, negative impact on career, social life etc? A lot of people seem to suggest that the collapsing birth rate is down to financial worries etc, but I'm wondering whether it's at least as much to do with women not actually wanting huge numbers of children. We used to have 6, 7 or more very regularly of course, but we didn't have much choice back then. Now we have contraception and less societal / marital pressure to have kids, is the reason for low birth rates more to do with woman's choice than concern about the impact of a large family?

AIBU - It's all about money; if I could afford to have 14 kids, keep my job, figure and lifestyle, I'd be all in
YANBU - Even with all the wealth - and nannies - in the world, 1 or 2 would definitely be more than enough for me, thanks.

OP posts:
GoldWhiteandBlue · 14/09/2025 17:09

For those who'd say they happily have none. May I ask why ?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 14/09/2025 17:08

I have two. I’d happily have had more.

Fifthtimelucky · 14/09/2025 16:53

I was one of four and ideally would have liked four myself. I have two. That was partly for financial/practical reasons, partly because we started too late to fit in four, and partly because my husband didn’t want more than two.

blankcanvas3 · 14/09/2025 16:27

i have 3 and i wouldn’t have anymore no matter the circumstances

WutheringTights · 14/09/2025 14:17

I have three. Love having three but no way would I have had a fourth.

LoveMaths · 13/09/2025 21:43

Have 2. Definitely done. Would have loved 3 maybe 4.

FluffMagnet · 13/09/2025 21:35

I have 2, would like 3 but financially that was a stretch too far. Also feel I'm too old now to have another.

Sugargliderwombat · 13/09/2025 21:33

I have 2, I wish I could have 4 children but I'd need to be 10years younger and 10x richer.

SwirlingAroundSleep · 13/09/2025 21:32

FalseSpring · 13/09/2025 21:29

I have two, would have been happy to have more, but DH already had three so he felt five was enough.

Ditto and how funny that we cross posted.

SwirlingAroundSleep · 13/09/2025 21:32

Well I have 5 (3 step-children) and felt done after my second pregnancy. But I always wanted 5 and said as a kid I wanted to adopt as well as have some of my own bio kids, so I got what wanted and felt done.

FalseSpring · 13/09/2025 21:29

I have two, would have been happy to have more, but DH already had three so he felt five was enough.

HeyThereDelila · 13/09/2025 21:25

I’d have had four, but I’m too old and we don’t qualify for any help as high earners (yes, tiny violins but it’s still too expensive) so we’ll likely stop at 2. We also can’t afford a bigger house.

TheWytch · 13/09/2025 21:21

I have 2 who are both adult. Neither have chosen to have children

With the current state of the world, that would be my decision too now if I was their age.

Hello12345678910 · 13/09/2025 21:19

My heart would love a third, my brain says absolutely not

sparebooks · 13/09/2025 21:18

I have 2 but would probably have had 2 more, so 4 altogether, if we’d won the lottery.

Because it would have paid for nannies, a housekeeper and so on. Not to take the children off my hands but just to be around and help, be upbeat and play when I didn’t have the energy, allow for breaks to go for a walk or meet a friend.

brightgreenpepper · 13/09/2025 21:13

I have 2 and even with more resources I don’t think I would want more - I don’t know how parents of more children have enough opportunity to have quality one-to-one time. I don’t feel I could really know more children well enough, or thry could get enough parent time

Mandylovescandy · 13/09/2025 21:10

I am now ok with not having a 3rd but was really keen for a while but DP wasn't at all. Definitely advantages to just 2 but if finances weren't an issue and I had met DP earlier and started family sooner then maybe 4 and probably be a SAHM

BobbieTables · 13/09/2025 21:06

PND after the second stopped me from wanting more.
I think these days the high intensity expected in parenting would also put me off!

Callalilly2016 · 13/09/2025 21:03

I have 2. If I was younger and richer, I would have had 3, possibly 4.

MotherOfRatios · 13/09/2025 21:03

Men are part of the issue for me aswell women have made strides in their careers and challenged stereotypes but men are still clinging onto the characteristics of 'providing' and not many actually want kids if the domestic and mental load of a Home is split. The only reason men say they want kids a lot of the time is because they know their partner will do the bulk of looking after the Home and the kids.

I'm in my 20s and honestly I don't know if I will have kids because most men I date and interactive don't seem to want an equal relationship in terms of parenting and is getting worse with the rise of glorifying trad wives incel culture and misogyny perpetuated by the life of Andrew Tate. When I date older men they are jealous of my success so dating younger or older it doesn't have results for me.

if parenting was more equal, I probably still would only have two just because as a black woman, I'm more likely to die in childbirth and I don't want to risk that multiple times.

grrrlatrix · 13/09/2025 21:01

I’m glad I am not rich because I am impulsive and would probably keep going just for a laugh if I didn’t have to work outside of the home and we had more bedrooms.

ACIGC · 13/09/2025 20:58

I wish I’d had 5

too many reasons why I didn’t

Blarn · 13/09/2025 20:57

I have two but I'd have loved three. It was money definitely that stopped the third. I suppose we could now but I don't want to at 40. Partly as I feel too old and unfit now but I also don't want to go back into all the sleepless nights, relentlessness of it all etc. So it was money bit also I suppose I ust don't want to.

Zanatdy · 13/09/2025 20:57

I had 3 (with big age gaps as I started young). I’d have maybe had one more if money was no object etc, or may have stuck with 3 as I had 2 x DS, then 1 DD.

CatchTheWind1920 · 13/09/2025 20:56

I've got 2. Door is open for a third but we will very likely never walk through it. For me, the reasons are sleep and illness. I can't go through the lack of sleep again if I get another bad sleeper (like my second). I always said if someone dropped off a 2.5 year old, sleeping through the night with all their teeth, I'd have three.

Dh's reasons are financial.

Swipe left for the next trending thread