Starting to wonder if DH is right and I’m disrespectful?

You’ve just reminded me that I was once on a work trip in NYC, and mistakenly got on an express rather than a local subway train, with a colleague in his early fifties.

I mean, it was no kind of disaster, we just found ourselves in Queens when we hadn’t wanted to go there, but we weren’t under time pressure to get back to Manhattan or anything — but I noticed him sending a frantic text, so I said ‘I already called X — she knows we’re running late’, and it turned out he’d been texting his wife!

He wanted her to look up return trains, while she was at work on another continent. Apparently she always organised family holidays, and was in charge of navigating them around unfamiliar places. And with his wife not present, he just looked to me to tell him which train to get on!

Taking everything else aside (as it's been debated to death already) what I find fascinating here is that, upon finding herself lost, the first thing OP does is message her DH...who isn't even there.

And then later when she's struggling to find her car again she asks her DH to beep it..again when he's not there.

This sort of over-reliance and learned helplessness is absolutely bizarre.

For most people this wouldn't have been an issue at all. Get a bit lost. Find alternative car park. Do party. Perhaps mention later on, in conversation about the party, that the sat nav was initially set to the wrong car park. But there would have been no faff whatsoever.

Instead, this absolute reliance on another human being and inability to problem-solve has created a drama out of what should have been a very minor inconvenience at most.

Surely I'm not the only one who wouldn't even have considered calling someone who wasn't there if I was lost and confused. Not least because I would have had Google maps in my hand.

Op my husband always manages to put me in stupid situations by trying to help. Just do it for yourself in future as some people who try to help end up helping nobody, like little miss helpful from Mr men

What a massively big deal over nothing.

Do you have learning difficulties? It might explain why your DH had to put the details in for you, why you need your hand held to take your child to a party, and also most of your responses here.

Oh nooooo a random stranger thinks im vulgar! However will i cope!

Oh wait, i don’t care. And I fucking love a good swear. Swearing is fucking amazing and adults offended by it are miserable boring twats with the sensibilities of a particularly dim toddler.

Also you’re a hypocrite seeing as your swore in your post

And I sure hope one day you will receive the repercussions of your attitude and actions.

😂😂😂😂😂 somebody has told you that this is a good insult. Bless you.

None of the replies at this point in the thread are dramatic. I haven't read the rest.

Were you hoping for everyone to say he was a terrible person, LTB, and make you feel better for being a stroppy mare?

I do understand that sometimes a DH can be too helpful. I have one like that, but his idea of what's helpful isn't the same as mine, and sometimes it causes me more faff. Which is what appears to have happened today.

But I wouldn't have responded in the same way you did. I suck it up, because I appreciate he is trying to be helpful because he loves me.

Well just change them yourself. Its not rocket science

No, I’ve never dramatised anything, It’s not within my skill set. You might want to look into selling the rights though, as (although not a fan myself) Mr Bean was a very popular show in the UK.

"Angry people being angry."

Hope you can see the irony in this comment OP 😂

I think people like yourself male or female, are vulgar as you don’t seem to be able to get your point across without swearing at, belittling or being condescending towards posters. It would seem you lack the intelligence to comprehend my point though, rather you’ve taken this as an attack to women and our right or speak how we want.

You seem to be a strong advocate for feminism whilst tearing down other women, quite contradictory I must add.

I said myself I don’t agree what OP did was right, but I didn’t have to be a dickhead to get my point across.

Anyway good day, hopefully you are brave enough to treat people in person as you do behind your keyboard. And I sure hope one day you will receive the repercussions of your attitude and actions.

I'm not going to make assumptions or mis-read information or anything else you accuse people of.

You asked if you were being unreasonable... yes you were. Very unreasonable. Based on the information you gave you.

You then doubled down and have been very very very unreasonable with everyone whi responded in a way you didn't agree with.

You come across as someone who is actively looking for an argument- first with your husband and then with everyone on this thread.

You sound like an incapable nightmare.

Oh he’s, women should be pliant and naice and never cause a moment’s distress lest they be vulgar

OR - the OP is a grown arse woman who’s ASKED opinions and actually some people in life just need a ruddy good dose of being told like it is - that their behaviour is shitty and rude. I think if the OP had perhaps taken on board the comments saying YABU, she wouldn’t have served a lasting but clearly she came on wanting to be told she’s in the right and not everyone wants to play along

Stop policing the way women talk. Unless you’re a 10 year old girl, I suggest you grow a thicker skin

Combative on mumsnet just like with her dh. Has to get the last word, as she sees it, even if she has to pretend to think people are bowing before her and “scurrying away” when the majority if posters are just rubbernecking at this car crash.

YABU however you’ve described what I think sounds like a typical petty nothing to worry about argument with young children-tiredness makes everything so much worse!
I can understand your tiredness and frustrations but your DH was only trying to help. Good to hear it’s all forgotten about now

You asked if you were being unreasonable. They said yes and told you why. You said you didn't like their response so they left as you clearly did not actually WANT anyone to tell you why you were being unreasonable. No one is "scurrying away" - it is just you are responding in much the same way you did when you could not find the car park ... and people simply can't be bothered. If you don't want to be told you were unreasonable, then don't post on AIBU.

@Lanzarotelady sorry wasn’t keeping close enough tabs on who posted who.

but you sound like a lovely person, enjoy your 4 holidays a year.

I will say though the fact your happiness is dependent on solely material things - I’m embarrassed for you 😉

No apology? For what??

Time to don your big girl pants and make your own way to the party.

@LayerCakeOfStrangers I’m sticking up for bullying behaviour on a thread where grown women don’t have the ability to get their point across without being vile to another human being. Or hold any sort of compassion. Really bizarre for a bunch of parents but even more concerning for the children of such people.

you can simply say;

”yes you are being unreasonable, you sound like you allowed stress to get the better of you. This is not the best way to have handle it, and I can understand why your DH could have found this disrespectful. Maybe the best action plan is to apologise and discuss why you were both feeling how you were”

You don’t get a shiny medal from anyone on Mumsnet because you would handle a situation better than another person. You just sound like a bit of an asshole.

Damn, I should've said that too😂

Sounds as if you've had a really shit day exacerbated by posting on AIBU.
I have loads of days like this as I'm a hormonal mess. I tend to stay in a lot, which is something you can't really do with young kids.

Sounds as if you've had a really shit day exacerbated by posting on AIBU.
I have loads of days like this as I'm a hormonal mess. I tend to stay in a lot, which is something you can't really do with young kids.

Maybe next time have a buggy in the car for emergencies. And sort out your own directions.

I am almost never on the dh’s side in these posts but the poor man! I wish someone could helicopter in and rescue him from this nitpickery and caterwauling. Poor thing.