Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex has left his cat behind

89 replies

ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 13:32

Don’t know what to do about cat that ex has dumped on me. Keeps saying he’s arranging transport but nothing happens. Already have a cat n a dog, and could do either out the extra one. She’s sweet but rarely comes in and is still nervous of my cat n dog. Ex is too far away to simply take her to his door. My adult children will probably think im wicked if we don’t keep her and I’d hate her to sit in a cage indefinitely waiting to be picked out by another new owner (she originally came from rescue). Keep her?

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 13/09/2025 20:10

Freysimo · 13/09/2025 17:52

Sadly not a joke. Perverted types use cats to train fighting dogs.

Yup its how I got the third brother of my two cats

He was being given away at 6 months old for free on Facebook i had his brothers living with me already so 🤷‍♀️

Ex has left his cat behind
deirdrerasheed · 13/09/2025 19:59

No harm in calling the local shelter as back up if nothing else works out. Shes adorable. Where is the ex, does he have suitable housing is it realistic that he can house her?

Antimimisti · 13/09/2025 19:05

ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 17:24

sick joke presumably? Dog bait!??

No, sadly and horrendously, this is a thing - people involved in dog fighting look out for free or very cheap cats and kittens being rehomed, and use them as 'bait' to get two fighting dogs wound up into aggression. Never advertise a cat to be rehomed free or for a token amount.

You have a lovely cat, I hope you can keep her. Black cats are wonderful.

AmpleLilacQuail · 13/09/2025 19:00

She’s lovely but it’s not fair to keep her if she doesn’t get on with your existing pets, it would be nicer to find a home she’s comfortable in.

glassof · 13/09/2025 18:52

TrevorTheCat · 13/09/2025 17:31

Poor cat. Black cats are harder to rehome because of superstitious nonsense. If it were me I would keep her and hope that my other cat and dog would adjust to having her around and she would start to feel more confident. Presumably if you and your Ex stayed together then the cat would be staying too? Please don’t put her back into rescue, she deserves better than that. If you do keep her and she’s microchipped then update with your details. She is beautiful. 😻

Great name, we have a Trevor too!

mumofoneAloneandwell · 13/09/2025 18:17

ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 16:55

Piccy below- sorry I haven’t got her whole head in

Aww

rainbowunicorn22 · 13/09/2025 17:58

ill take her if you are near

Freysimo · 13/09/2025 17:52

ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 17:24

sick joke presumably? Dog bait!??

Sadly not a joke. Perverted types use cats to train fighting dogs.

TamzinGrey · 13/09/2025 17:48

Please give her to a rescue. I volunteer at one and I can assure you that she won’t “sit in a cage indefinitely“ What is more likely to happen is that she’ll find a loving home.
Rescues like ours have been full throughout the summer because of an unprecedented number of kittens but it’s starting to calm down now and you should be able to find a place.

RandomNewIdentity · 13/09/2025 17:47

Sounds like you got the better part of the deal. Beautiful 🐈‍⬛️

ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 17:37

ComfortFoodCafe · 13/09/2025 17:10

Youll be lucky if a rescue agree, they are full. Why cant you keep it?

She’s outside 95% as she’s intimidated by my dog and my own cat.

OP posts:
TrevorTheCat · 13/09/2025 17:31

Poor cat. Black cats are harder to rehome because of superstitious nonsense. If it were me I would keep her and hope that my other cat and dog would adjust to having her around and she would start to feel more confident. Presumably if you and your Ex stayed together then the cat would be staying too? Please don’t put her back into rescue, she deserves better than that. If you do keep her and she’s microchipped then update with your details. She is beautiful. 😻

ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 17:27

Prancingponies · 13/09/2025 17:19

My livery yard recently closed down and they asked us to rehome (admittedly a livery adopted) barn cat. Lets just say putting a post on a facebook group brought only cranks calling up.

As it happens I have a double garage, installed a cat flap and now she's happily living in there. Do you have a shed or something she could call her own?
Admittedly Lucy our ex barn cat has a heated pad now nights are getting colder!
And yes, she has the most amazing eyes.

Aww she’s lovely. Unfortunately I don’t have a garage and my shed is chokka. I’ll ask my sister first. Thanks

OP posts:
WatchingTheDetective · 13/09/2025 17:25

You don't have to keep a cat just because he can't be bothered taking care of her. Someone will love her. Give him 48 hours notice and then take the cat to the rescue.

ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 17:24

sick joke presumably? Dog bait!??

OP posts:
MaryGreenhill · 13/09/2025 17:23

She's a beautiful cat . I don't think you will have long before someone took her @ForNoisyCat

Prancingponies · 13/09/2025 17:19

My livery yard recently closed down and they asked us to rehome (admittedly a livery adopted) barn cat. Lets just say putting a post on a facebook group brought only cranks calling up.

As it happens I have a double garage, installed a cat flap and now she's happily living in there. Do you have a shed or something she could call her own?
Admittedly Lucy our ex barn cat has a heated pad now nights are getting colder!
And yes, she has the most amazing eyes.

Ex has left his cat behind
ComfortFoodCafe · 13/09/2025 17:10

Youll be lucky if a rescue agree, they are full. Why cant you keep it?

YelloDaisy · 13/09/2025 17:04

I wouldn’t let DCs dictate or anyone else who doesn’t intend to look after it themselves.
I live in the countryside so you sort of know who local people are-I’d put a notice in the church/shop asking if anyone would like it. There’s plenty of ways to get a cat for dog baiting without scanning the local ads / notices.

bestcatlife · 13/09/2025 16:59

Oh she's a beauty

Zempy · 13/09/2025 16:59

I wouldn’t be able to give the cat up, but I would convince him that I would take it to his workplace/mums/a rescue place if he doesn’t collect it by x date.

Just be clear, I wouldn’t actually carry out the threat, I would just hope it might spur him into action.

ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 16:55

Piccy below- sorry I haven’t got her whole head in

Ex has left his cat behind
OP posts:
ForNoisyCat · 13/09/2025 16:52

Thanks all. I’ll see if DS is interested, then give ex a deadline. Failing that I’ll phone cat protection league for their view. Piccy to follow when I work out how to attach it

OP posts:
Hotflushesandchilblains · 13/09/2025 14:27

Which rescue did the cat come from? Would they rehome it?

CinnamonBuns67 · 13/09/2025 14:11

If shes unhappy with your existing pets then it'd be unkind to keep her. I'd rehome the cat if ex doesn't have it sorted by a certain date. Just make sure she goes somewhere good, don't advertise her for free or cheap as that will attract animal abusers/people that get cats to use as baiting for dog fights.