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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shift stuff off the sofa so that people can sit down?

36 replies

Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:00

Friends houses, a couple recently, gone round (invited) and unable to sit down because of stuff on the sofa. Stood awkwardly or perched on a the sofa arm having a coffee and conversation.
They don’t seem to notice or be bothered and make no effort to move any of it.

Same with my partner, he just doesn’t even seem to notice that anyone coming round have nowhere to sit, makes absolutely no effort to move any of his stuff, doesn’t even cross his mind that he needs to shift it.

It’s their home, but it really puts me off going again and I feel embarrassed of my partner’s crap everywhere when people come round.

Is it fussy and my problem to feel awkward standing up with a coffee in my hand while having a conversation with someone sitting comfortably in their spot on their sofa?

OP posts:
LaundryGarden · 13/09/2025 12:09

Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:08

This is what I usually do but they wanted to show me their new TV so invited me round.
Very smart it was too!
Yes! Literally 2 sofas, one full of Amazon boxes, clothes, bags, cushions and the other where friends sat was big enough for them alone, so I was stood in the doorway like a lemon!

Show quote history

And you didn’t say ‘Where can I put this?’ and just move something?

minipie · 13/09/2025 12:09

Hang on, they sat down on the sofa but the rest of it was covered? Yeah that is odd of them not to notice and move the stuff.

But equally, you could have spoken up and said I’m just going to put this lot on the floor. Maybe she thought you are a percher and liked sitting on the arm? (I am a percher)

Original poster
Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:08

Littlejellyuk · 13/09/2025 12:04

Next time meet her out for coffee in a cafe. Problem solved. ☕️

This is what I usually do but they wanted to show me their new TV so invited me round.
Very smart it was too!
Yes! Literally 2 sofas, one full of Amazon boxes, clothes, bags, cushions and the other where friends sat was big enough for them alone, so I was stood in the doorway like a lemon!

OP posts:
Serpentstooth · 13/09/2025 12:08

Give over OP, this is mumsnet. We do not have stuff on our sofas, we have lovely designer cushions.

Dweetfidilove · 13/09/2025 12:08

You just stood there like a lemon? Surely you move them or ask her to move them.
She's a terrible host, but you also need to speak up.

TY78910 · 13/09/2025 12:06

If they’re my friend, I’d pick the stuff up myself and move it. It’s a bit passive aggressive to just stand there in the middle of the room making a point…

Whokilledrogerrabit · 13/09/2025 12:06

If they're friends, surely you could have just said, 'where shall I pop this so I can sit down?'

Whilst it's not ideal that they didn't offer, I can't see why you couldn't have politely asked so I voted you ABU.

emmaal · 13/09/2025 12:05

I would just start moving stuff myself or say, where would you like me to sit? ☺️

Hatty65 · 13/09/2025 12:05

I'd have said, 'Can I shift this stuff so I can sit here?'

Littlejellyuk · 13/09/2025 12:04

Next time meet her out for coffee in a cafe. Problem solved. ☕️

LaundryGarden · 13/09/2025 12:02

So you stood in the middle of the room drinking a cup of coffee you’d been invited around for, because literally every seat in the room other than the one your jist/hostess was sitting on was covered in stuff?