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Original poster

To think that you shift stuff off the sofa so that people can sit down?

36 replies

Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:00

Friends houses, a couple recently, gone round (invited) and unable to sit down because of stuff on the sofa. Stood awkwardly or perched on a the sofa arm having a coffee and conversation.
They don’t seem to notice or be bothered and make no effort to move any of it.

Same with my partner, he just doesn’t even seem to notice that anyone coming round have nowhere to sit, makes absolutely no effort to move any of his stuff, doesn’t even cross his mind that he needs to shift it.

It’s their home, but it really puts me off going again and I feel embarrassed of my partner’s crap everywhere when people come round.

Is it fussy and my problem to feel awkward standing up with a coffee in my hand while having a conversation with someone sitting comfortably in their spot on their sofa?

OP posts:
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honeylulu · 13/09/2025 14:00

Rude, slobby and socially inept. They invited you round to see something in their living room, sat down themselves and didn't shift rubbish from the sofa to make a space for you?!?

My mum and dad's living room is like that but I know them well enough to just lift up the pile of magazines/newspapers/discarded post and plonk it into the floor. I've seen my mum just sit on the sofa on top of a pile of rubbish. It must be so uncomfortable!

RampantIvy · 13/09/2025 13:44

KingOfPoundbury · 13/09/2025 13:35

It is for precisely this situation that one's equerry should always carry a shooting stick.

Could you not do that for your next sojourn?

😂

KingOfPoundbury · 13/09/2025 13:35

It is for precisely this situation that one's equerry should always carry a shooting stick.

Could you not do that for your next sojourn?

soupyspoon · 13/09/2025 13:34

I thought none of this applied to me anyway, however Im sat in the conservatory, this sofa has me at one end (its quite long), a magazine, a hat, a workbook/note pad. If I get up to answer the door I will put this laptop down and tht will be on the sofa. So if someone came in that whole sofa is full up. Then on the armchair opposite me is a cat. I dont think cats move for anyone. Another armchair in here has quite substantial cushions that you have to move to sit down - you know the type, ornamental cushions!

So looks like Im guilty too.

Littlejellyuk · 13/09/2025 13:33

My husband is like this. A messy bugger. His mum was the same, she was a hoarder.
He sells stuff so has boxes of crap everywhere. 😠
My solution? I was lucky to have the extra room, as I turned the spare room into his man cave. Now all his junk is confined to one room, and our living room is now tidy and ready for guests. 🙌

RampantIvy · 13/09/2025 13:31

To think that you shift stuff off the sofa so that people can sit down

No, because my sofas aren't full of shit. They are for sitting on not storing stuff.

Why didn't you say something?

I would have said "where can I sit?"

jjeoreo · 13/09/2025 13:31

Hatty65 · 13/09/2025 12:05

I'd have said, 'Can I shift this stuff so I can sit here?'

So would I!

Unpaidviewer · 13/09/2025 13:27

I cant imagine letting someone into my home with stuff all over the sofas. I'd be too embarrassed. And when I go to people's homes that are messy I tend to pretend it isnt there and I'd just stand awkwardly in the doorway too OP.

Im kind of jealous of people who dont get embarrassed about how clean or tidy their homes are. I'd love to not feel stressed about it and it makes me not enjoy having friends over.

NewYorkSummer · 13/09/2025 13:18

Who goes round to see someone’s new tv? One tv looks very much like every other tv surely?
And yes, I would have moved stuff. I hate having crap all over the sofa, it’s for sitting on, not storage.

Littlejellyuk · 13/09/2025 13:17

I'll be honest, I would have laughed and sat in her knee/lap and then said, well where else can I sit? 😆 🤣 😂

rewardh · 13/09/2025 13:13

What kind of a friend can you not say ‘move your shit then so I can get a seat’ to?

ClaredeBear · 13/09/2025 13:13

I keep sofas and chairs absolutely free for this reason - not even a mocking troll. I think if people would rather not move someone else’s things around. We’re not cluttered anyway, though I suppose it’s all relative and if you are cluttered maybe you don’t realise it.

Costcogroupie · 13/09/2025 13:12

The host was unbelievably RUDE. I'd have moved stuff off the sofa or fetched a kitchen chair.

Original poster
Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 13:10

Also people who stand up in restaurants and cafes and don’t push their chair in so no one can get past..

OP posts:
Original poster
Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 13:09

soupyspoon · 13/09/2025 12:59

Well, as long as OP puts her bag down on the seat next to her so that the friend cant sit down!!!

I wonder if there is something not right with the brain functioning here, sort of social communication deficits. My OH is like this in restaurants, waitress comes over, hot plates, the meal is for him, usually they'll ask 'who's having the fish' or whatever. He doesnt answer (when its him), so she's there dithering with the plate, then the space in front of him is covered either in his drink or phone or arms and he makes no move to move them all out the way so she can put the plate down

It astounds me all the time, we have had 'many' a conversation about it. Nothing goes in. Something not right in the wiring in my view.

Show quote history

Yes! This too! Like, where are they thinking that the plate is going to go.. then ensues a flurry of activity while they shift their crap out of the way, meantime the poor waitress hands are getting burnt to a crisp!

OP posts:
Ddakji · 13/09/2025 13:04

Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:11

Same couple who’s dh turned the TV up because he couldn’t hear the Simpsons because we were talking! We were in the room.. again, it’s their home and I won’t be going back but my partner does this sofa thing too.

Obviously I get him to shift it but unless I tell him… no comprehension.

But why on earth didn’t you say something?! I mean yea, they sound rude but surely a friend you say something?

RaininSummer · 13/09/2025 13:01

Very rude of them.

soupyspoon · 13/09/2025 12:59

Littlejellyuk · 13/09/2025 12:04

Next time meet her out for coffee in a cafe. Problem solved. ☕️

Well, as long as OP puts her bag down on the seat next to her so that the friend cant sit down!!!

I wonder if there is something not right with the brain functioning here, sort of social communication deficits. My OH is like this in restaurants, waitress comes over, hot plates, the meal is for him, usually they'll ask 'who's having the fish' or whatever. He doesnt answer (when its him), so she's there dithering with the plate, then the space in front of him is covered either in his drink or phone or arms and he makes no move to move them all out the way so she can put the plate down

It astounds me all the time, we have had 'many' a conversation about it. Nothing goes in. Something not right in the wiring in my view.

LaundryGarden · 13/09/2025 12:56

Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:11

Same couple who’s dh turned the TV up because he couldn’t hear the Simpsons because we were talking! We were in the room.. again, it’s their home and I won’t be going back but my partner does this sofa thing too.

Obviously I get him to shift it but unless I tell him… no comprehension.

And you have friends with appalling manners why?

Original poster
Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:49

😆 yes local cafe from now on!

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 13/09/2025 12:18

LaundryGarden · 13/09/2025 12:02

So you stood in the middle of the room drinking a cup of coffee you’d been invited around for, because literally every seat in the room other than the one your jist/hostess was sitting on was covered in stuff?

I'd say the OP had clearly visited my mother - except for the fact that she wouldn't ever invite anybody in, much less offer a drink in case they wanted to move the Stuff.

ETA: Yes, she's a hoarder, too.

Littlejellyuk · 13/09/2025 12:15

Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:08

This is what I usually do but they wanted to show me their new TV so invited me round.
Very smart it was too!
Yes! Literally 2 sofas, one full of Amazon boxes, clothes, bags, cushions and the other where friends sat was big enough for them alone, so I was stood in the doorway like a lemon!

Show quote history

Lesson learnt. Stick with the cafe for coffee next time.
And if they want to show you another new item (TV, coffee table, or something mental like a stuffed pet or whatever) then just ask to see a photo on their phone 😆 🤣 😂

Dont stand there like a lemon. 🍋

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and go to Costa 😆

minipie · 13/09/2025 12:11

Not excusing them, but I think when mess has been there for a while, you kinda don’t see it any more. They probably don’t even think of it as a second sofa now 😁

Original poster
Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:11

Same couple who’s dh turned the TV up because he couldn’t hear the Simpsons because we were talking! We were in the room.. again, it’s their home and I won’t be going back but my partner does this sofa thing too.

Obviously I get him to shift it but unless I tell him… no comprehension.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cliffedge25 · 13/09/2025 12:09

It was piled high!!

OP posts: