AIBU to think very very few people get pregnant at 50?

According to the NHS the likelihood is less than 1%. So it’s less likely than a younger woman taking the pill.

In your situation I would ask about the diaphragm. It's none hormonal and while it might be slightly less effective than other methods, at your age it's likely to be good enough.

Ignore all those going on about vasectomy. If he doesn't want one, he has bodily autonomy and tbh in his situation with the likelihood of conception being so low, I wouldn't do it, at 60 he might not heal as well as a younger man.

This is precisely what my friend tells me that so many women can and do get pregnant 45-50 occasionally older but the vast majority terminate a lot due to chromosome issues identified at around 12 weeks and others as they just didn’t want to be pregnant and were shocked it actually happened. She gets annoyed at the media constantly putting out the ‘fertility drops at 35’ message as women hear this and believe it and end up in awful situations having to terminate

I don’t like hormonal contraception and I can’t use it anymore as I’m a high risk for breast cancer and had been strongly adviced to stop using it, so I did.

But knowing that the risk of pregnancy is not impossible is more than enough for me to not choose taking all precautions possible, my husband chose to have a vasectomy and I chose not to have penetrative sex at all until he’d been been given the all clear as I knew I’d still be worried about it bursting or something going wrong.

If you went to a consultant and said you were trying to conceive at aged 50, she would likely tell you it’s impossible because she would assume you were trying to have a baby. Getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term and giving birth at 50 is nigh-on impossible. But getting pregnant at 50 is certainly not impossible. I don’t know why you would even take the risk - miscarriage / termination is hardly pleasant.

Should have added the word, 'naturally'.

Janet Jackson almost certainly used donor eggs. And most likely Victoria used a frozen embryo left from when she had her first child.

The subset of celebrities and women who have babies over fifty is likely to be nil.

Extremely unlikely but not impossible so personally wouldn’t risk it. Tell your partner to get a vasectomy if he wants to continue having sex, you’ve already carried the physical burden of contraception.

I think you have to bear in mind that along with other celebrities who give birth in their fifties it is a given that the conceptions and pregnancies are not medically unassisted, if they exist at all and surrogacy isn’t the truth.

An accidental pregnancy over 50 is very likely to end in a miscarriage or other traumatic complications, why risk it.

I think your DH’s ‘doctor phobia’ is a cop out. Its his turn to take responsibility now as female contraception and live sperm could cause you problems you could do without for the next 5 to 10 years so I’d honestly tell him no vasectomy, no sex.

His response will tell you how important to him you are annd what kind of man he is, as if you don’t already know.

Look at it this way - you go to your GP and say “I’m 50, irregular periods and my partner is 60. We’d like to try for a baby without going for assisted fertility. What are my chances of successfully conceiving?” GP is going to say “virtually nil”. Use condoms if “virtually nil” is more risk than you are prepared to take.

Also I think the chance of a healthy pregnancy at that age is less than 1%. It could be traumatic to have to terminate a baby with problems tho or have a lateish miscarriage... I think that'd be my worry at that age. I think a healthy pregnancy carried to term is v v unlikely, a pregnancy (even if ends in miscarriage) though is possible

That's just his excuse to not have a vasectomy. Some men think a vasectomy is emasculating. He'll let OP carry the burden of contraception right through until she's infertile through menopause and she'll accept that.

David Mitchell and Victoria Coren Mitchell had a baby last year when she was 51.

It's more unlikely you'll get pregnant with unprotected sex than someone in their 30s having sex with a condom. So, very very unlikely (condoms are pretty good contraception) but not impossible.

My best friend is a consultant she has told me often that over the last 10 years she has seen a huge amount more women 45-50 having babies (and not via ivf - natural conceptions) that a high percentage also have complications and that the rates of termination in that age group is also significantly higher (due to either abnormalities or because these are women who had completed their families and thought they were safe due to age) . It’s not as uncommon as you think to get pregnant but it doesn’t always end with a healthy baby.

I have a friend who was in your situation who conceived at 49. She chose not to continue with it but the whole thing was obviously traumatic. I would use condoms.

I'm 51.

I still have regular as clockwork periods and can still tell when I'm ovulating.

So, in theory, I could get pregnant. The viability of that pregnancy might be a different matter though.

I wouldn't take any chances, personally. Just in case.

Or the baby was born to an unmarried older child and passed off as the (grand)mother's. This was not uncommon.

Why is it your responsibility, why can’t he have a vasectomy?

When I traced my family tree I found one of my ancestors had given birth to her last baby at 51.

If you are having periods you could get pregnant.

I use the cava diaphragm , easier than condoms

This issue is it's not impossible to get pregnant.
Very unlikely though and as we all really know pregnancies after 43 are IVF and often donor eggs.
So the risk is there and the reality is it would likely result in miscarriage or deformities which would be unpleasant for you to have to face.
Better just to be safe.

You can still carry a pregnancy at 70 with help. Doesn’t mean anyone is actually going to conceive a pregnancy at 70 so it’s irrelevant to the OP.

They are married shes not asking about a new partner.

He doesn't have to do anything. He is just as entitled to body autonomy as the OP is.