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Original poster

DD cruelly dumped by BF

283 replies

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 03:46

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 13/09/2025 07:24

That is the most cringe thing ever. Keep out of it. Your daughter is hurt but she's an adult that doesn't need her mum meddling. You'll make her the laughing stock when he shows his friends what you have done. She has had a breakup , she's 25 , it will be one of many ...

Original poster
OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 07:24

I especially appreciate your comment @ISpyNoPlumPie and those who have been constructive or funny. I can see the folly of my ways and yes, I do have a tendency to act impulsively and sometimes irrationally; thank God the impulse was checked this time by consulting a bunch of complete strangers at 4am.
To the “vipers” and whoever said they could see how he wanted out of this family and that it was a good thing DD was moving out, that’s plain cruel. I deserve ridicule and contempt yes but not comments like that.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 13/09/2025 07:24

Please do not send that. Your daughter would not thank you for it, quite the opposite (and he is likely to tell her).

This isn't about you. Of course you feel your daughter's pain, you're her mother, but it is not your business.

It's certainly not for you to seek 'revenge', which is a horrible emotion anyway, and attempts at trite 'poetry' will only make you look stupid. I feel embarrassed that you would even consider it!

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 13/09/2025 07:22

OP, going forward, just don’t send poems ever.
You can’t go too far wrong then.

Lilactimes · 13/09/2025 07:22

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 03:46

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

@OutbackQueen I’m glad you’ve decided not to send it. It hurts a lot to see your adult child in pain but agree with others it’s good to just comfort and know she will be better soon. It’s also good the BF doesn’t know too much about how she’s feeling.

Concentrate on her move to live with her friend - this will be so positive for her! And she will be over him and having fun with friends x

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/09/2025 07:20

DO NOT DO THIS!

I understand your daughter is upset and I have been in her position but he is free to end a relationship for any reason he wants.

Viviennemary · 13/09/2025 07:15

Don't sent this dreadful poem or whatever it's meant to be. Just keep out of it and support your DD if she wants to talk.

Shewasafaireh · 13/09/2025 07:14

Please OP has this been a thing you’ve done before?

Confused Mood GIF
Wildgoat · 13/09/2025 07:12

For thr love of god, don’t do that, I’m so embarrassed at even tne thought of it. You need to support your adult daughter when she wishes it, but really focus on your own life. This is just so so wrong to even consider doing such a thing.

Sunnyscribe · 13/09/2025 07:12

No definitely don't send that. Like you said it's would be for your own revenge not what's best for your daughter.

marshmallowfinder · 13/09/2025 07:11

Oh come on op, you can't send that toe curling embarrassment! Just be there, as you are, for your daughter. If the relationship wasn't right, it's the best thing it ended.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 13/09/2025 07:09

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 04:15

@OuijaBoard that’s brilliant advice. Several things I’ve done recently have made me question my judgement and this is one of them!

This is probably worth a little more thought and reflection. To get to the point of having written the poem and asked on mumsnet is a whole series of poor decisions, not just one. Is it just this worry/concern? Or are there other areas of life where you feel like you aren’t the most rational? It can be easy to lose perspective when it comes to your own child being deeply hurt but perhaps it’s not just that. It is good you asked but I also hope you have friends and family you can rely on. It’s often best to avoid action in the intensity of an emotional response.

Lafufufu · 13/09/2025 07:03

Adding that no matter what - do not send that.

Don't say you never liked him.

I would probably say things like "imagine if he didn't do it now but did it in the future either when you were pregnant or with a newborn imagine how awful that would be."
Just in case the fucker thinks about coming back for thirds... it'll give her pause for thought.

Owly11 · 13/09/2025 07:03

Wtaf? What are you thinking? You are over involved. Take a step back and be there for your daughter. It’s her who has been dumped not you.

APTPT · 13/09/2025 07:01

I think that
You'd be a twat.
To send the cad
Your poem so bad

Thortour · 13/09/2025 06:58

Nooooooo!
Do not send it.

stoptheworldiwanna · 13/09/2025 06:56

JFC for the love of God DON'T! He will tell everyone and laugh his fucking arse off you will humiliate her PLEASE DON'T!

whitewineandsun · 13/09/2025 06:48

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 06:24

The very fact that the OP even considered doing this…. Is telling

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Yes. Why even consider that? Really don't get it. How would that help the daughter?

Shedmistress · 13/09/2025 06:44

Surely you should be glad she is out of this terrible relationship, not writing poems about how you'd want her back in it?

SulkySeagull · 13/09/2025 06:39

The poem is giving Adrian Mole. Why on earth would you think to write a poem to your daughter’s ex, let alone send it?!

KimTheresPeopleThatAreDying · 13/09/2025 06:36

People are allowed to end relationships they don’t want to be in. It doesn’t mean they’re a “shit” or whatever else he’s been called.

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 06:34

He finished a relationship
He gave it another chance presumably because DD was very keen to
Didnt work out. And decided that… yes, this definitely is over.

This happens all the time. I can’t see him being particularly heinous

pilates · 13/09/2025 06:29

Glad you posted on here and people have quite rightly told you it’s a bad idea. Just put all your effort into supporting DD. Most people have their heart broken at least once and she will get through it.

KidsDoBetter · 13/09/2025 06:29

@OutbackQueen - ignore the vipers. Yes hugely ill advised but you accepted that and aren’t going to send it. You clearly love your daughter a lot. This too shall pass.

youalright · 13/09/2025 06:28

Chilliprawnpls · 13/09/2025 06:24

The very fact that the OP even considered doing this…. Is telling

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I agree and I can see why he wanted out of this family