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Original poster

DD cruelly dumped by BF

283 replies

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 03:46

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

OP posts:
pictoosh · 13/09/2025 11:15

Maray1967 · 13/09/2025 10:37

He started the relationship up a second time and then dumped her. That’s not good in my book.

Show quote history

Not one for context, knowledge or details then?

PrivateMusic · 13/09/2025 11:13

Oh god this just reminded me of a teenage memory. I was 16, maybe 17, and had broken up with my boyfriend of a year because I had caught him still texting his ex. I received a long letter from his mum in the post telling me not to let his ex ruin our relationship, that she’s a fat bitch, I’m so much better etc etc Just the cringiest thing ever. Funny thing is I know he’s married to that ex as an adult now, and it makes me giggle to wonder if his mum remembers writing such a horrible letter about her.

PollyBell · 13/09/2025 11:04

Maray1967 · 13/09/2025 10:37

He started the relationship up a second time and then dumped her. That’s not good in my book.

Show quote history

So a woman goes out with someone and it doesnt work for her so she breaks up with him, they stay in contact and get back together but she is not happy yet according to you she has to stay with him even though she doesn't want to be with him because it would be cruel to break up with him

Why would this be any different?

Catsbreakfast · 13/09/2025 10:58

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 03:46

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

I’m embarrassed for you that you would send this to your adult daughter’s ex. Completely unhinged.

ChristmasCwtch · 13/09/2025 10:51

Don’t send that!! Such an awful idea. The circumstances of the break up is nothing to do with you.

Be there for your daughter.

But remember, you don’t fully know the dynamics of someone else’s relationship, so you actually have no idea that your daughter “had done nothing” [wrong]! 🙈

CuddlesKovinsky · 13/09/2025 10:47

You know, we've all had a giggle, but you're clearly feeling this deeply, and I hope writing that poem helped you vent your feelings a bit (though I do agree with you not sending it).

But I think what it would have done is escalate the drama. And I don't think that would help your daughter - it's easy to mistake those heightened emotions as love... She really needs to be cooling those feelings, calming down and looking at it dispassionately, seeing for herself what a dick he is. The best help you can give her is to model that - but don't get over-involved in her emotions - at her age, she needs to work through them herself.

I hope you can all laugh about him in a short while! 🙂

gtx1797h · 13/09/2025 10:45

This has to be a joke

Maray1967 · 13/09/2025 10:37

Allthefruit · 13/09/2025 08:10

Why?

From nothing op has said has he actually done anything wrong, other than not wanting to be with her daughter.

He's done the right thing splitting rather than the people who stay with someone and cheat or similar

I remember I split with an ex and his whole family hated me. It made no sense. It's not evil to not want to be in a relationship with someone. The next woman he met became his wife so i clearly did the right thing ending it

Show quote history

He started the relationship up a second time and then dumped her. That’s not good in my book.

HornyHornersPinger · 13/09/2025 10:31

There once was a Mum with a DD
Who's BF was twattish and seedy!
Mum penned a bad ode,
Then to us it was showed...
And we told her it made her look weedy.

Luckyingame · 13/09/2025 10:27

What a drama (coming from you).

LemonLass · 13/09/2025 10:24

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 03:46

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

Hi @OutbackQueen
I havent RTFT so I no doubt echo others when I say do not send it.

Decision based on:

  1. It is not your battle (you adult daughter has blocked him. No comms).
  2. You would look like a crank and potentially be classed as harassing HIM. Dont give him that.
  3. Crappiest experience and painful for you both but just be there for her. Long term this a "lucky escape". This is who he is.

Most of us experience heartbreak. We go on to love again eventually. Your daughter will, too x

TakeMeBack2Spain · 13/09/2025 10:21

Change2banon · 13/09/2025 10:13

Okaaaay 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Show quote history

Why are you telling her not to send it hours after she’s already said she isn’t????? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 She can’t not send it twice.

Pollqueen · 13/09/2025 10:19

WiddlinDiddlin · 13/09/2025 04:52

Oh dear sweet mother of god do not send that.

That is Keith J Furnival levels of awful (if you don't know, that is probably a good thing), PP are correct, it'll give him a laugh and he'd likely post it all over SM and these things have a way of getting back to the person you least want it to get back to.

Write down on paper - call him every shade of cunt you can think of - burn it/flush it.

I just googled K J Furnival and your post came up Smile

WimbyAce · 13/09/2025 10:19

I think you have got yourself too involved. Break ups happen and your daughter needs to deal with it. You are there to support her not make it about you.

Trendyname · 13/09/2025 10:18

vitahelp · 13/09/2025 10:03

Absolutely do not send it. It can be a nice therapy writing it but do not send.

Therapy for op when dd is the one dumped?

Trendyname · 13/09/2025 10:16

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 03:46

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

You are using your DD’s breakup for your hobby poetry?

Change2banon · 13/09/2025 10:13

TakeMeBack2Spain · 13/09/2025 10:12

I misunderstood there because I thought you were going to say

‘what’s wrong with people….still slamming a woman who posted in the middle of the night and who now has had a complete change of heart. Why aren’t people reading the posts after the very first one’

but you didn’t.

Show quote history

Okaaaay 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

TakeMeBack2Spain · 13/09/2025 10:12

Change2banon · 13/09/2025 09:54

Good God what is wrong with people! You were going to send him a poem?! I’m glad you’ve been persuaded not to! As hard as it is, this is not your life, not your fight!
Just wow! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I misunderstood there because I thought you were going to say

‘what’s wrong with people….still slamming a woman who posted in the middle of the night and who now has had a complete change of heart. Why aren’t people reading the posts after the very first one’

but you didn’t.

Aleshafromtheblock · 13/09/2025 10:08

He's dodged a bullet with you as a potential mother in law 😆 and seriously, you're asking a forum who's main motto is 'dump him' and 'leave the bastard' when I guy so much as farts or leaves a toilet seat up 😆

FieryA · 13/09/2025 10:07

Why would you send a poem to him? If you want to say something, say it clearly in a paragraph. Don't understand the point of this reading between the lines stuff, as if it is going to make a difference. In any case, don't contact him.

vitahelp · 13/09/2025 10:03

Absolutely do not send it. It can be a nice therapy writing it but do not send.

GiraffesAtThePark · 13/09/2025 10:03

Sorry things aren’t good OP. Glad you’re not sending it. It’s for the best. If the comments are upsetting you I’d just walk away from the thread.

LoyalMember · 13/09/2025 10:01

You did the right thing by not sending that cheesy diatribe. It would've made your daughter a laughing stock.

AntiBullshit · 13/09/2025 09:59

Don’t get involved and delete that op. Yes she’s hurrying but she’s an adult and needs to get through this. Leave her to it

Kingsleadhat · 13/09/2025 09:58

JockTamsonsBairns · 13/09/2025 08:41

No need for folk to start piling on with cruel comments.

The Op was clearly feeling emotional during the night. She's taken advice on the questionable poem, and decided against it.

No need for all the mocking.

What a kind comment. I agree