Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD cruelly dumped by BF

283 replies

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 03:46

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

OP posts:
GoldenGirl85 · 13/09/2025 03:59

I know you’re hurting. It’s not nice when anyone does anything hurtful to our children but sending a message to the BF is not wise. Firstly, it’s likely to embarrass your daughter, especially that message. Secondly, it may not have the impact that you think it will, which will leave you really embarrassed and thirdly, this is the start of worrying trajectory that you will always involve yourself in your children’s relationships, which will become problematic.

heartbreak while brutal is normal part of life and will strengthen your daughter so just use this time to comfort her so she doesn’t spiral and feels supported. Life will deal with the ex- boyfriend.

all the best.

verycloakanddaggers · 13/09/2025 03:59

That would be so undermining.

This is not your battle, your job is to support your DD.

WhingeInTheWillows · 13/09/2025 03:57

Oh no, don’t send it. No contact with the ex at all, just support your daughter.

OhDorWheresthesalad · 13/09/2025 03:56

Absolutely do not do that.

workingitout1234 · 13/09/2025 03:52

Do not send

LavaLaamp · 13/09/2025 03:52

Oh good god no

Butchyrestingface · 13/09/2025 03:51

No, don’t send it.

Allow your adult daughter the dignity of navigating her way through a relationship break-up without interference, especially of the poetic type.

zaazaazoom · 13/09/2025 03:50

Oh Jesus's absolutely dont send him anything. I cant imagine anything more embarrassing.
Its not your job.
Your job is to comfort DD and tell her there are much better men out there and to move forward.

Swipe left for the next trending thread