To be upset about with DH for leaving me at home either 2 kids while sick?

I’m surprised at how low the bar is for men on this forum. If he knew you were unwell there should have been a discussion on how to handle the fair and what he can do to make your day as easy as possible so you can rest.

This choosing the easiest way to parent and dumping any inconvenience on you just shows you he’s totally inconsiderate. Have a word with him and hopefully he can see your perspective. You’ve got 3 kids and many years of parenting ahead so best he can see the error of his ways before you get to a point where you resent him so much you want to get divorced.

Imwould call him and tell him to come back and collect dc 3

then I would be having a very strong conversation on the fact he lied to you about meeting his sisters so could have taken both kids, and that it’s not on to treat his sick wife like that

then once well Imwould simply arrange to go out, but tell him until last minute and he looks after all three all day, phone switched off so he knows how it feels. But then I am petty

OP I would be annoyed at the thoughtlessness of it all, as it sounds like if the situations were reversed he wouldn’t have liked it.

I would have a conversation about it as he conveniently left bits out (family will be there) to make sure he only took one child with him, and the lack of discussion before deciding the plan which made it difficult to row back from as kids would be disappointed.

also, highly recommend Sudafed blocked nose spray. It works miracles and is long lasting, you will feel a million times better just for breathing through your nose.

But respectfully, you would take to your bed if you felt ill enough to need to. You must have been through the mill with diabetes and the spleen issues and it sounds like you have a lot of grit to keep going through physical discomfort. However discomfort does genuinely feel different to different people. Different traumas, different parasympathetic nervous systems, different immune reactions to germs, different genetics, different reactions to.allergens, different cellular processes like methylation, different neurobiology making different sensory issues easier or harder to process.

You have a lot to deal with and you have obviously managed really well - but that doesn't mean that everyone who does it differently is doing it wrong.

I’d be peeved but I’d get on with it.

later posts from you make me think Your DH didn’t feel he could ask his sisters to watch the 19mo whilst he did rides with your other child.
that’s his problem.
so I’d probably explain calmly that a cooped up well toddler is a PITA & so you are disappointed he did not feel he could parent 2 kids at the fair. What’s the point of having local family. Might as well live in Australia or some other far away place.

but don’t have a row about it. State disappointment. Query why family could not be leaned on. & leave it at that.

So he didn't discuss it with you first, announced it in a way that upset DC2, lied about not being able to take DC3, didn't ask if he could do anything to help before he left and then came home and announced he was pooped as though he'd just had a really hard day?

YANBU to be annoyed. You are probably more upset than it deserves because you are feeling shitty anyway.

As ever, I am stunned by the lack of empathy from some posters. There are no medals awarded for people not resting when they are ill. What I have learnt the hard way is that powering through can actually lead to more serious illness. The body needs rest to fight off an infection.

If he'd gone out alone he'd be unreasonable, but it's really important with 3 DC to make sure they all get some 1-1 time still, especially the eldest.

I have type one diabetes and I don’t have a spleen, I’m just not some who takes to their bed when unwell.

I have a bit of a cold this week. Bit stuffed up, silly little cough, not feeling 100% but carrying on as normal.
But I’ve also experienced the type where you struggle to breathe so can’t sleep, cough so much your insides are your outsides and you struggle to eat as your throat feels cut to ribbons, there are mountains of used tissues by the bed and simply not enough lemsip in the world to touch the sides of the fucker.
I am absolutely stunned that seemingly so many posters have only ever experienced the first type and therefore can’t imagine why the OP is peeved.

Honestly, Actifed is a total game changer. I have ongoing runny nose issues and it is the only thing that works.

I promise I don’t work for them!

You have a cold. Get a grip.

When people say things like this I always think they must be the sort of people who don't have such severe colds as others. When I was younger a simple cold would wipe me out for 3 days. Later in life I was diagnosed with an easily treatable medical condition, think low iron type thing. For my early life I had not felt "ill" most of the time but when I got any bug, it was awful. Now I am on additional supplements, if I have a cold it presents as a mild headache and blocked nose and I can cope fine and maybe need a little nap, no drama.

The person who posted this comment above has probably never had one of the "wipe you out for days" colds and is baffled why the rest of us need to make such a meal of it. But honestly colds are different for different immune systems, people with different levels of inflammation, and so on. We are learning more about inflammatory responses for different bodies all the time.

I always feel sorry for people who live with these bracing "just get on with it" types if they are unlucky enough to have a proper need for rest as I suspect they get no sympathy or accommodation.

I’m not really sure why you’re getting such a hard time OP. Maybe because it wasn’t clear from your first post that he planned to meet up with his sisters.

I think the minimum he should have done was take both DC who were healthy. That way you could have rested and not been looking after a healthy 19 month old.

Yes he may not have gone on all the rides but DC1 could have and I’m sure his family would have minded DC3 while he went on sone rides. Even if you had all gone he would have had to miss some rides as he would presumably have taken turns with you to mind DC3.

He just did what was easiest for him and stuff everyone else.

You’ve got a cold? Don’t most parents carry on as normal when we’re unwell?

OP, I can see his point about not taking youngest to the fair, but only if he had absolutely no idea his whole family were going to be there at the same time...
If he knew he definitely should have taken both kids.
And it would have been thoughtful if he'd have prepped lunch too.

I suffer from sinusitis regularly over the colds and flu season. You can buy decongestant nasal spray that can clear your nose in 30 seconds. Amazing stuff. You still feel unwell but you can breathe, therefore sleep.

It's awful looking after kids when you're ill so you have my sympathy, I remember it well.

Yet she was expected to be ill at home looking after two kids (one who is ill themselves!) whilst he went and had fun with ONE kid and his sisters + partners? (So more adults than kids..) How is that right or fair?

I don't know why everyone is saying if he took DC3 he wouldn't have been able to take DC1 on rides, his family were there and he wasn't going on rides with DC1 anyway!

I don't think yabu, it sounds like more than just your standard colds and it was unfair for him to leave you with the littlest two when you're feeling so bad.

I think he did the right thing.

If he brought DC3, then he couldn't go on rides or have fun with DD1.
Yabu.

You've and your son DC2 probably have covid and others are likely to come down with it soon or be asymptomatic. Contagion can happen even if asymptomatic or up to a couple of days before symptoms show. Please isolate from others to avoid further spread, every infection even mild or asymptomatic leaves damage to the body.