Page 7 | To find my husband disgusting

Pinktize · 2025-09-12T21:28:35+00:00

He turned 47 recently but I feel hes 80. He snores so much and he always sleeps on his back and when I gently push him he tells me to fuck off. He eats his food so fast he has to lie on the floor. He tells me long long stories about something from Tesco and I hate listening to him! He slurps yoghurt. Sometimes he has snot hanging from his nose. And I can hear his sneezes from anywhere in the house. I find myself trying to physically avoid him. When I see old couples around I think about it being us and I hate the idea of it being me and him. I feel horrible. Hes not particularly nice but honestly the feelinh now is so physical. I feel really harsh. I wish it wasnt like this. We went to counselling and I obviously didnt say any of this but we talked about physical closeness and I was just screaming NOOOO in my head I feel pretty horrible about it.

Beachtastic · 12/09/2025 23:27

BigFatBully · 12/09/2025 22:43

Why would someone be seen by others with snot hanging from one's nose? I know we are supposed to share intimate moments with our spouses but that is gross.

DH and I were once in a pub talking to a guy with snot hanging out of his nose. He went to the toilets and we expected him to come back a changed man, but no, there is was, still hanging out of his nose. We laugh about it 10 years later

emilysquest · 12/09/2025 23:25

The details don't matter, its the fact that you are distressed and repulsed about it all. You dont have to justify why his boring stories turn you off, they just do. That's enough.

My XH was a very intelligent and interesting man who always had a crowd hanging on to his stories. He was witty, funny, great company. I was never bored with him. My now DH spends a fair amount of time telling me stuff that I am not really interested in and I nod and make occasional interactions (part of living with a man, I believe). Yet, I got to the point where I couldn't be in the same room as XH, but I can happily jump on DH any time, after 20 years.

When you know you know.

Original poster

Pinktize · 12/09/2025 23:24

I do have young kids.

I dont find other humans disgusting. And im definitely not a lesbian. But also I think I would be alright with never having ssx again. Im 41. Really - I like my job and my kids and my friends. And apart from that I do kind of feel like I just want to be left alone.

OP posts:

BigFatBully · 12/09/2025 23:24

Fatandfluffy · 12/09/2025 23:22

You planning to leave during the 4th?

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Plenty of time to get her ducks in a row. 😂

Fatandfluffy · 12/09/2025 23:22

LemondrizzleShark · 12/09/2025 23:17

OP, a decade is nothing. I’ve been with DH for three decades, and will likely be with him for another three.

If you feel like this after ten years, divorce him. You two aren’t suited and this won’t get better.

You planning to leave during the 4th?

Original poster

Pinktize · 12/09/2025 23:21

@CelestialFilly no, the change has been gradual. Of cpurse it didnt feel like this at the beginning. And I owned my own place when I met him and he moved in with me, so no, the £ wasnt part of it at all.

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Fatandfluffy · 12/09/2025 23:21

Finallyfree41 · 12/09/2025 23:13

Do you suffer with depression OP? I only ask as at one point I thought my marriage was over, very much a lot of the same thoughts you’ve expressed here but I was also depressed. I went to the doctors help and realised that as much as he irritated me on occasion a lot of it was due to my hormones and now things are normal again. Of course your DP needs to realise he needs to change some of his behaviours too cos some of it is just gross and completely unnecessary x

Normal again @Finallyfree41

are you really happy? Or have you settled?

hormones don’t make you dislike your husband, but they may fire you up to do something about it. Sounds like you’ve resigned yourself

Pessismistic · 12/09/2025 23:20

Pinktize · 12/09/2025 23:16

I dont want to be cruel. I really dont. Im using an anonymous website because I wouldn't say this out loud to anyone.

The stories about Tesco...im not trying to be a dick. Just he comes home and talks to me about the fact hes done some calculation and actually the bigger bag of onions is better value etc..well you get the idea. He talks AT me. He doesnt ask how I am or have interest in me. I used to try and book date nights and things but it was never returend. But something has changed in the last few years. Ive felt ignored for a long time. Thats what we went to therapy for. But then this feelinh of repulsion came in and it just gets stronger and I feel horrible for admitting it.

Hi op maybe you should have told him as it might have helped you by being honest in a safe place also to see if it can be fixed. I would say if your not happy and have no young kids get out you really won’t change how you feel unless he got ill and you felt guilt or an obligation but I get some people just can’t walk away so easily. No judgement here.

atinydropofcherrysherry · 12/09/2025 23:19

op, did you really like him physically at the beginning....before my husband I had a partner whom I just liked as a character and safe person, but he repulsed me in some parts of his physical traits. It was not his fault....just he was not that manly or ....hard to explain and this is why I left on time, before marriage and kids and all this

CelestialFilly · 12/09/2025 23:19

So why marry him? Did he suddenly change, or was he just convenient for the mortgage?
Best to communicate, if you can.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 12/09/2025 23:18

I think you need to talk to a therapist alone and really work through it. It's ok to not fancy someone or be interested in them, but feeling rage and repulsion is not ok. I suspect you have deep seated anger and resentment towards him that is coming out in a physical way.

I'd start with the snoring issue and separate at night, better sleep in the kitchen on a pull out bed than with a snorer. I don't think it would take me long to hate someone who kept me awake at night. As for the snotty nose, I don't understand why you can't tell him and he wipes it? If not that's something you need to address, poor hygiene isn't ok.

Can you explain what you mean by eating so much he needs to lie on the floor? This seems so strange!

LemondrizzleShark · 12/09/2025 23:17

OP, a decade is nothing. I’ve been with DH for three decades, and will likely be with him for another three.

If you feel like this after ten years, divorce him. You two aren’t suited and this won’t get better.

Sub2Mumma · 12/09/2025 23:17

I told my ‘D’ H tonight he ate his dinner like a pig as he troughed and chowed down on it - straw that tipped me after a very long day today 🥴 he’s now snoring like a dying walrus on the sofa in a mood (not envy!)

Plastictreees · 12/09/2025 23:17

I’m really confused as to why you’re still with him.

Fatandfluffy · 12/09/2025 23:17

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What the fuck

Original poster

Pinktize · 12/09/2025 23:16

I dont want to be cruel. I really dont. Im using an anonymous website because I wouldn't say this out loud to anyone.

The stories about Tesco...im not trying to be a dick. Just he comes home and talks to me about the fact hes done some calculation and actually the bigger bag of onions is better value etc..well you get the idea. He talks AT me. He doesnt ask how I am or have interest in me. I used to try and book date nights and things but it was never returend. But something has changed in the last few years. Ive felt ignored for a long time. Thats what we went to therapy for. But then this feelinh of repulsion came in and it just gets stronger and I feel horrible for admitting it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pinktize · 12/09/2025 23:16

I dont want to be cruel. I really dont. Im using an anonymous website because I wouldn't say this out loud to anyone.

The stories about Tesco...im not trying to be a dick. Just he comes home and talks to me about the fact hes done some calculation and actually the bigger bag of onions is better value etc..well you get the idea. He talks AT me. He doesnt ask how I am or have interest in me. I used to try and book date nights and things but it was never returend. But something has changed in the last few years. Ive felt ignored for a long time. Thats what we went to therapy for. But then this feelinh of repulsion came in and it just gets stronger and I feel horrible for admitting it.

OP posts:

Florally · 12/09/2025 23:16

Most couples sleep apart?

is that true? I mean, it sounds blissful as I like noise when I sleep and he doesn’t and that wins, but I don’t know anyone who sleeps apart.

atinydropofcherrysherry · 12/09/2025 23:15

LillyPJ · 12/09/2025 23:13

Most couples sleep apart? Really? Not any of the couples I know.

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From the ones where the man snores too loud

Shinysunday · 12/09/2025 23:14

Talk about it in therapy OP. It may be your only chance to move things on. You can say that you dislike the way he slurps yoghurt and the way hes disrespectful to you for trying to get him to be quiet so you can sleep. You can say Dislike rather than Disgust. Hopefully the therapist will support you in getting him to take this seriously. If not at least you tried, and you can work out how to break up peacefully.

atinydropofcherrysherry · 12/09/2025 23:14

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enwarall · 12/09/2025 23:14

YABU to still be married to him when you clearly cannot stand him! Divorce and do both of you a favour.

emilysquest · 12/09/2025 23:14

It's not a right and wrong thing. There is no point in negotiating anything now. Split up in a calm and dignified manner. There is no shame in that.

I was in a trial separation from my XH and in the spirit of trying to be open to all possibilities, I went along with a sexual situation with him. I had a reaction of such revulsion that I dont think I managed to hide it. I knew then that it was a no go, and made plans accordingly (and it was not easy). Best thing I ever did and although I didn't know it then, a whole new life awaited me, sexually and in every other way.

LillyPJ · 12/09/2025 23:13

atinydropofcherrysherry · 12/09/2025 23:09

Most men eat really fast. Most men snore , some less, some more noisily. Most couples sleep apart, about sneezing, all men do sneeze, most of them very noisily. Most men will want to talk to their wives about who they seen in the shops. Some men might slurp. Only the lack of nose hygiene.

why do you hate the poor chap so much

Most couples sleep apart? Really? Not any of the couples I know.

Finallyfree41 · 12/09/2025 23:13

Do you suffer with depression OP? I only ask as at one point I thought my marriage was over, very much a lot of the same thoughts you’ve expressed here but I was also depressed. I went to the doctors help and realised that as much as he irritated me on occasion a lot of it was due to my hormones and now things are normal again. Of course your DP needs to realise he needs to change some of his behaviours too cos some of it is just gross and completely unnecessary x