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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to send a voice note on whatsapp to someone I've just exchanged numbers with on a dating app

69 replies

Forfucksake84 · 12/09/2025 21:13

Anyone else hate sending voice notes? Especially to people you don't know. I just find them awkward and embarrassing, and would much rather text but he keeps asking me

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ILoveWhales · 13/09/2025 16:31

TwistedWonder · 13/09/2025 14:56

Of want hear someone’s voice m, I’ll talk on the phone or actually meet them face to face.

I find voice notes irritating and always respond with text. What’s the point of a VN rather than an actual phone conversation?

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Youve ignored my dyslexia.
Can you at least accept there may be a reason why some people would prefer a voice note?

I can use speech to text to write my messages.But reading them can be hard.

blimeydarling · 13/09/2025 15:23

I hate a voice note! I have one friend who always sends them, but I can’t listen in public unless I have earbuds handy. And if there’s anything important in it, you can’t just quickly re read. I find them intrusive and annoying, I never send them.

Plastictreees · 13/09/2025 15:12

CalmHiker · 13/09/2025 15:08

I would love to know the age and background of posters on most threads

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I am in my mid thirties. I never use voice notes. I met my husband online and funnily enough, we never communicated using voice notes!

dollyblue01 · 13/09/2025 15:10

My dp does this and has done since day 1 I reply with a txt , I don’t do voice notes neither and won’t be anytime soon😊 just that.

PumpkinSeasonOctober · 13/09/2025 15:09

I used to never respond to men that would send them. They used to give me the ick.

CalmHiker · 13/09/2025 15:08

DelphiniumDoreen · 13/09/2025 14:46

For you maybe.

Not for the majority of people on this discussion.

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I would love to know the age and background of posters on most threads

CalmHiker · 13/09/2025 15:07

TwistedWonder · 13/09/2025 14:56

Of want hear someone’s voice m, I’ll talk on the phone or actually meet them face to face.

I find voice notes irritating and always respond with text. What’s the point of a VN rather than an actual phone conversation?

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Phone conversation implies that you are both available at the same time

Voice notes allow you to send messages when convenient, and the other person to listen and reply when convenient to them.

I can't spend 24h a day with everyone I like 😂, so voice notes do well until we meet.

CalmHiker · 13/09/2025 15:05

WaryHiker · 13/09/2025 13:46

What else should she do for a relative stranger that she's not comfortable with, just because it's not an objectively outrageous request?

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not date him, if she's not comfortable with him 😂

TwistedWonder · 13/09/2025 14:58

TwistedWonder · 13/09/2025 14:56

Of want hear someone’s voice m, I’ll talk on the phone or actually meet them face to face.

I find voice notes irritating and always respond with text. What’s the point of a VN rather than an actual phone conversation?

Show quote history

Won’t let me edit for some reason - obviously if not of

TwistedWonder · 13/09/2025 14:56

ILoveWhales · 13/09/2025 14:48

Fine. But why bother going on a date if you don't want to hear their voice.

I'm also dyslexic I said, and it's easier for me to speak and listen.

Show quote history

Of want hear someone’s voice m, I’ll talk on the phone or actually meet them face to face.

I find voice notes irritating and always respond with text. What’s the point of a VN rather than an actual phone conversation?

ReceiveIt · 13/09/2025 14:54

Tell him you'll send one after he sends you a video him doing an interpretive dance to Cardi B's WAP.

He doesn't get to demand things from you. Also, if hes a waffler I'd bin him now because they just get worse.

tripleginandtonic · 13/09/2025 14:53

Just phone him.

Plastictreees · 13/09/2025 14:52

ILoveWhales · 13/09/2025 14:48

Fine. But why bother going on a date if you don't want to hear their voice.

I'm also dyslexic I said, and it's easier for me to speak and listen.

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That’s obtuse. There’s a big difference between having a conversation with someone face to face, or even over the phone, to leaving voice notes. Not wanting to engage in voice note tennis with someone doesn’t mean you don’t want to date them or ‘hear their voice’.

FirstdatesFred · 13/09/2025 14:50

You don't want to.
That's that.

I'd probably go quiet on the messaging tbh and see what happens next.

ILoveWhales · 13/09/2025 14:48

DelphiniumDoreen · 13/09/2025 14:46

For you maybe.

Not for the majority of people on this discussion.

Show quote history

Fine. But why bother going on a date if you don't want to hear their voice.

I'm also dyslexic I said, and it's easier for me to speak and listen.

DelphiniumDoreen · 13/09/2025 14:46

ILoveWhales · 13/09/2025 13:44

YABU

Voice notes are the most underused feature. The written word can be misinterpreted so easily as you can't hear someone's voice. So much nuance is lost with text.

Hearing someone's voice is so much better.

For you maybe.

Not for the majority of people on this discussion.

ILoveWhales · 13/09/2025 14:36

naemates · 13/09/2025 13:51

You can communicate well by text if you are
good at it

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But you're not allowing for the recipient, are you. Perhaps they'll misread it. It's very common to misread the nuance in a text, particularly when you are speaking to a stranger.

If someone doesn't even want to hear my voice before going on a date, well fine.

I'm also dyslexic, which is why I use voice to text speech recognition to post on here and to do most things. I'd love it if people suggested voice notes and I use them quite frequently. It saves me from having to read big chunks of text which can be hard for me.

There can be reasons for wanting to use voice notes.

DeedlessIndeed · 13/09/2025 13:54

Secondwifenotsecondbest · 12/09/2025 22:04

Sorry if pp think I’m being dramatic but!
in today’s world of AI, I would definitely hesitate to leave a voice note… you really don’t know this person and with the ‘right’ (wrong!) technology your voice can be manipulated to say anything in any context 😳

100% this.

Especially if you've not met him yet. There's a horrible extortion scam using AI voice manipulation where your voice is used to create a recording and you're basically blackmailed.

I'd not feel comfortable, but then it's not really any different to a phone call I guess.

Online dating is the worst.

naemates · 13/09/2025 13:51

ILoveWhales · 13/09/2025 13:44

YABU

Voice notes are the most underused feature. The written word can be misinterpreted so easily as you can't hear someone's voice. So much nuance is lost with text.

Hearing someone's voice is so much better.

You can communicate well by text if you are
good at it

winteralready25 · 13/09/2025 13:51

Why not just ring each other, if you want a conversation?
I think of voice notes as being like a message on an answering machine ' just say it in real time to the person.

WaryHiker · 13/09/2025 13:46

Greggsit · 12/09/2025 21:17

I prefer texting as well. I hate voice notes because they take longer and you have to faff around with earbuds, etc. That said, if someone asked for one, I'd probably do it. It's not like he's asking for nude pics, it's a fairly innocuous suggestion.

What else should she do for a relative stranger that she's not comfortable with, just because it's not an objectively outrageous request?

CalmHiker · 13/09/2025 13:45

compromise, arrange a call or a whatsapp and stick to text for the rest.

I prefer voice notes with people I am close too, can't be bothered to text and it's usually a conversation, not a brief 2 lines. When it's someone you date, you like the voice!

PrawnAgain · 13/09/2025 13:45

IPM · 12/09/2025 21:59

He probably wants to make sure you're not a bloke?

This was my first thought. He might be concerned you're a catfish.

However, if don't feel comfortable then don't. It's up to him if he wants to proceed on that basis.

ILoveWhales · 13/09/2025 13:44

YABU

Voice notes are the most underused feature. The written word can be misinterpreted so easily as you can't hear someone's voice. So much nuance is lost with text.

Hearing someone's voice is so much better.

Chocoholicnightmare · 13/09/2025 13:42

Maybe his spelling is really bad (that would put me off).

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