DH and I have been together for 5 years, married for 2. He has twin adults who are 23, I have 2 children 18 and 20. My DH is Italian, we decided this year to bring all our children to Italy. His children spent a substantial amount of their childhood in Italy, the rest in France with their French mother. We have been here for 2 weeks now, we spent the first week with his family down in the south of Italy and have been in the lake como area for the last week.
When we were down in the south with his family his children spent a lot of time out, either with old friends or their cousins etc. I brushed it off as them reconnecting with their childhood friends and didn’t see it as rude. Since we got to Lake Como though they have still not spent any real time with us. They have gone wakeboarding and didn’t think to invite my DD who would have enjoyed it, they’ve gone into Milan to meet up with friends, his DD has been on two dates with two different men. They just generally seem very disinterested in spending any time with us as a family, despite my DH and I paying all of the costs associated with the trip. My older DS is autistic and doesn’t really enjoy touristy activities, so I was hoping they would take my DD who’s 18 under their wing a little but they haven’t even tried to. I have suggested they take DD wakeboarding or into Milan as she would really enjoy this and doesn’t really enjoy doing everything with me and my DH as she isn’t a child anymore. I usually get a yeah yeah we will, then they go ahead and leave without her anyway. DH thinks it’s because they will want to relax and have fun with their friends, and that will be harder if they have to translate everything said to DD as she doesn’t speak Italian.
I think it’s really rude to consistently leave her out and more so not make any effort to join us for family meals.
AIBU to be angry with them? What would you do?