Rude/Disinterested not to ask about holiday.

So many have too much going on to care about another’s holiday unfortunately.

I can't afford a holiday at the moment and I'm (perhaps unfairly) somewhat annoyed by the endless expensive holiday chat among many colleagues, so I actually don't encourage that by asking, in general. I try to make up for it by being a polite and friendly colleague in other conversations

@notsurewherenotsurewhy
Exactly. Same as where I work. I'm not jealous, but it can be a bit grinding. Along with the fact it's the better paid staff standing around gassing about holidays and dogs, while floor staff would get reprimanded for chatting.

I am in my 60s. People didn't go on as many holidays back then so we made a fuss, looked at the fuzzy photos and were envious. Now everyone goes on holidays/ weekend breaks/ cruises so it's no big deal so mostly l am not interested. But if its my kids they tell me all the details as they are a bit more adventurous and l enjoy that.
Sometimes my friends might say: would you recommend that place..that's about it.

I love hearing about holidays, even if it’s just an AI in the canaries. I like seeing the photos too. I find it strange that some people aren’t interested at all. I struggle to remember when people are going away but it’s not because I don’t care, so maybe just tell them about your holiday OP.

'Asking out of politeness' is IMO for conversations with colleagues or family you see out of duty - not people you're that bothered about.

Actual friends or family I care about? I'm genuinely interested (in their lives, rather than a special interest in the topic of holidays), so I ask. Agree some holidays are more interesting than others, obviously.

I can't afford a holiday at the moment and I'm (perhaps unfairly) somewhat annoyed by the endless expensive holiday chat among many colleagues, so I actually don't encourage that by asking, in general. I try to make up for it by being a polite and friendly colleague in other conversations!

'I hope this email finds you well.' is worse.

It's the emails starting "I hope you are well" that I hate. When on earth did this become a thing?

The emailer generally doesn't know me from Adam and I'm sure really doesn't care what my state of health might be.

Thank you. I'm glad that some people still know how to write decent English.

Why are you asking if its rude not to and then say in only a few posts in that you think its polite to ask?? Surely thats the end of your own thread?!

YABU. You used disinterested when you presumably meant uninterested.

So, @girlfriend44 - who is it that hasn't asked you ?

Why is it bothering you so much?

I'd say asking a person something about themself, or that is important or interesting to them, even if it isn't something that you are particularly interested in is the very definition of politeness.

Exactly. It all depends on the situation.

If it is my sister, I tend to ask as she does very cool stuff. Yoga retreats in Bali, cycling across Vietnam, solo traveller holidays in Costa Rica etc. There's something interesting to hear about there.

You've gone AI to Dubai or the Canaries? (No judgement, we do too.) Not much to hear about there.

Agree. I’ll scroll through the fb photos, get bored and give up after the first dozen, respond with a ❤️ and go about my day.

The word you want is 'uninterested'. 'Disinterested' means 'without bias', not 'bored'.
Sorry to be picky, but that particular mistake always makes me grind my teeth.
To get to your point, I think it depends on how well you know someone and whether your tastes in holidays are similar. I would be bored stiff hearing about a cruise or AI resort holiday, as if never go on one myself. I'm all about a city break and if it's somewhere I'd be interested in going myself, naturally I'd be interested.

I always ask a friend or colleague how their holiday was. A friend, I genuinely want to know that they've had a good time. A colleague, I'm being sociable and polite.

Fact is, a lot of people's holidays sound boring to me as I'm not a sunshine and sand holidaymaker. By the same token, my holidays sound grim to others...camping and hillwalking. They don't rate my holiday chat either.

Quick ask, hear points of interest, look at no more than five photos and the social obligation is fulfilled.

If you're going to start flicking through an album of 70+ photos on the tiny screen on your phone, I'm needed elsewhere.

Hearing about someone else's holiday is the most boring thing ever. Just stick the photos on Facebook so I can heart it and move on.

I hate this trend where you call your bank etc tgr operator says ‘how are you today?’ - and we get it all the time at work, someone makes a call to us with an enquiry asks how I am. Wtf does it matter? it’s trite fake polite box ticking nonsense. Just help with the enquiry and get on with it, it’s not your job to make polite small talk with randoms.

Had a friend years ago who would reply to "How are you?" With a detailed breakdown of her bad knee was playing up. She was in her bloody 20s at the time. It was excruciating to witness, saw her do it a few times. Ugh.

Fine if they do, fine if they don't. Doesn't matter.

Asking how someone’s holiday was has exactly the same phatic function as “How are you?’

Unless you’re the person’s therapist or GP, or concerned about their welfare, ‘How are you?’ essentially means ‘Hello’, and requires ‘Fine, thanks’ as a response, not a detailed rundown on how their haemorrhoids are playing up.

Asking a question when you’re not really interested in the answer isn’t what I’d class as polite.

@brunettemic I hate that so much. They're called ask holes

I wouldn’t care either way. I’ll probably ask but if it’s purely out of politeness is it actually polite? Asking a question when you’re not really interested in the answer isn’t what I’d class as polite.

Do you only ask for politeness?