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Original poster

new neighbour speaking to me like I am an idiot

88 replies

SaturatedCorn · 12/09/2025 13:52

So I'm going to try to assume she does this with everyone but it's fucking annoying. She is only 10 yrs younger than me, both active parents, both lived in various places.

For whatever reason she is talking to me like I'm some forgetful old dear.

So far I just carry on, in the knowledge that at some point the penny is going to drop for her and she'll realize I'm not an idiot.

Should I carry on like this, or openly say something like "I notice you speak to me as if I'm an old dear, are you able to stop this, or do you do it to everyone?

OP posts:
Radiatorvalves · 12/09/2025 14:42

For maximum impact choose your moment. My DBs second wife is 10 years younger. She’s also a seriously high flyer. They went for dinner with some people and the bloke massively patronized her and talked about the importance of girls’ education. She didn’t like to blow her trumpet, but eventually let slip she had a first class degree from Oxbridge, and her job…. She didn’t need girls’ education mansplained!

Soukmyfalafel · 12/09/2025 14:40

I would just make a subtle lighthearted joke of it. Ask her if it's your granny pants on the washing line that makes her talk to you like you're an old lady.

She probably does it to everyone though. Maybe see if she does it to other people first.

DappledThings · 12/09/2025 14:36

Is ot her tone or her actual words? Could easily be unintentional and nothing to do with how she perceives you. Can we have some examples?

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 12/09/2025 14:33

I had a colleague like that and she wound up everyone because she sounded patronising. She genuinely didn't mean to and was kindness personified but there was a tone...
I would not say anything to her. She may not be aware. She might be a patronising twat but as someone said, she's a neighbour, not a pal

NotToday1l · 12/09/2025 14:29

NoRomeo · 12/09/2025 14:11

Not a huge fan of cussing myself, but maybe some strategic swear words might help shift her focus away from the old dear image.

Agree, and give one or two smart arsed answers

NoRomeo · 12/09/2025 14:11

Not a huge fan of cussing myself, but maybe some strategic swear words might help shift her focus away from the old dear image.

MyAcornWood · 12/09/2025 14:07

Why do you care so much? She’s not your friend, she’s just a neighbour. Let it go, I say!

JadziaD · 12/09/2025 14:07

I'd be offended if she spoke to an actual old person like they're an "old dear".

But without examples, it's hard to tell. I'm a big believer in the light hearted push back, "hahaha, thanks for your help but I'm perfectly capable of carrying my shopping" or whatever.

AMillionTomorrows · 12/09/2025 14:06

Oh I’d play it up, forget her name, pretend you can’t see her because you’re wearing your reading glasses, tell lots of stories about the 80s. Have fun!

Gardenroomdoom · 12/09/2025 14:06

Does she work somewhere where she has to deal with older people or a call centre? I ended up speaking like a right idiot when I worked in a call centre. A sing songy condescending voice because you're on the phones all day and you just learn to do it to get by the monotony.

FullOfLemons · 12/09/2025 14:05

I’d say confronting her would be a high risk strategy.

It would be better to learn to tolerate.

How often do you need to speak to your neighbours anyway ?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 12/09/2025 13:59

Hard to say without some examples.

CeffylCoch · 12/09/2025 13:59

Yanbu, sounds annoying. Can you give an example?

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