new neighbour speaking to me like I am an idiot

My female neighbour is a C of E vicars wife. She speaks in the weird singy songy way they all do. Very odd.

I had to do a speed awareness course last week. One of the slides lists things on the road in level of vulnerability. The most vulnerable are not people but people on mobility scooters. I asked the tutor at the end why someone on a mobility scooter on the pavement ( who could easily knock me over, break my ankle etc) was more vulnerable than a person without one. Her response was that it is assumed that someone using one of those would most likely have a mental incapacity as well as a physical one and it is for able bodied people to jump out of the way rather than the other way around. So there you go.

This reminds of that old radio program "Does he take sugar?" Some people associate any physical disability with a mental disability. It is just their ignorance and lack of knowledge. Don't take it to heart. My MIL is registered blind (age-related macular degeneration) yet her mind is as sharp as a tack. Try to ignore people's ignorance if you can.

You've completely misread that poster. They were saying clearly some Brits are that bigoted. Perhaps read posts properly before getting on your soapbox and ranting at another person.

Hope this helps.

She may not be aware of her tone but equally you may not be aware of your body language. Do you stoop a bit, squint and appear confused because you don't immediately notice someone. All those things give ' old dear' vibes.

Or, before the OP mentioned her sight, the neighbour just thought she was a bit ditzy because she couldn't seem to remember the neighbour. Not everything is driven by malice...

I had a new neighbour (mid 30's) who asked if I (mid 50's) was going shopping.
Me: No, off to work.
Her: Oh, that's nice. Good to have a little job. Bless. Keeps you busy. Gets you out of the house.
Me: Nod and smile, nod and smile. As I drive off to my job as a university lecturer.
Don't let these people get to you.

I can’t be bothered to read through the entire thread. Your opening post said it all. You’re clearly more than neighbours as you know plenty about each other.
She’s a neighbour op. A neighbour.
Not your boss, your family , your friend: just a neighbour.

A “ good morning X, yep, such a glorious day today weather wise. Off to work now . Cheerio”
should suffice .

How are you allowing yourself to get into such conversations where you are feeling this way. With a neighbour?

I say pleasantries to mine but tell them fuck all about me or mine and vice versa.

Chill out over it. This really isn’t a big deal.

Gardenroomdoom- youre the sort of irritating person we DONT need to hear when we have to ring a call centre.Cut the cr*p sing- songy patronising voice or get a different job.

So you see her, she sees you but you didn’t actually see her clearly enough for you to recognise her at first, you then recognised her? You might of looked a bit puzzled or something which is why she believes you’re a ‘forgetful old dear’.

Someone who realises it's mildly annoying but not the end of the world and seeing as they have to live in close proximity decided to let it go possibly? Not the worst advice at all.

It's quite possible your neighbour is not very self-confident and has adopted a way of speaking to you that makes her feel more confident, instead of just being herself. You'll probably have come across this kind of thing before, the kind of slightly pompous, condescending way of speaking to others. Doesn't want to reveal much of herself so falls into this kind of fake persona. Maybe ask her about herself and she'll relax and be less annoying.

Oh, so you're an uneducated, small minded bigot who would treat someone rudely based on the preconceptions you have from watching total strangers on TV who happen to come from a country with 350 million individual people.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Well, you should know that most people aren't like you and it is exceptionally unlikely that anybody except another uneducated bigot with your particular illogical hatred for Americans would treat someone rudely based on their accent.

Hope this helps.

I have a colleague who does this. They are 30 and I'm 45. They make comments about my clothing and music, calling it 'mum music' and said my clothing 'might be back in fashion one day'. It really upset me. One day I had an opportunity and just told her that I thought she was incredibly rude. She was seriously taken aback and said she has 'just been joking'. I made my point that it was actually really upsetting and unkind. It was clear no one has actually called her out on her behaviour before. I think it's important to address this stuff, as there's this entitlement in younger people that they can say what they like.

I'm more perturbed by people suggesting 80s are 'olden days' ..that was only a year or two ago..🤔😉🙈😂

I'd keep asking her if she understands you and does she need it simplifying. Make it clear that you think she's thick with phrases like "oh, this is too complicated for you" or "I didn't think you'd understand this". It works a treat for me everytime.

We have neighbours who think they are above the rest of us and speak down to us. The neighbours on the other side have said the same and they are in their 80s and complain the neighbours think they are idiots.

They tell us how amazing their holiday was and then are deliberately vague about where it was because 'they don't want everyone going'. They are tossers. I avoid speaking to them. My husband is a bit more friendly but less so since the chap was a D1,CK about cutting a tree down.

Give her a wide berth.

I'd be tempted to mirror her mannerisms and turns of speech, so that she either (a) starts to worry that you see her as some sort of vulnerable idiot or (b) realises you are taking the micky and starts to become self-aware.

Yes, you're right, I watched the news yesterday and a couple of protesters had a flag up with the word Gammon on. Total bigots.

Oh, that's it, then - she's categorised you as 'A Disabled', and therefore mentally deficient... 🙄 How unlovely of her...

Agree examples are needed. What do you mean by they treat you like an idiot or someone older?
Are they actually trying to be helpful with comments e.g. reminders of bin day?
Have you done anything for them to make them think you need treating this way - you have drip fed about being partially sighted, maybe when they didn't know that they noticed something about the way you were acted and were actually trying to be helpful and show concern to check you were ok.

We need examples otherwise there’s no way of answering.

I'm saying that some are, yes. You've watched/heard/read the news at some point in the past few weeks presumably? That alone should show you how bigoted and ignorant some people in the UK are!

Just mulling over the fact that two PPs have described the 1980s as the olden days - I feel old now!

Like a PP I have been a victim of 'oh bless.'
I am in my late 50s but sat in the optician being oh blessed constantly was disconcerting! I said nothing but felt about 102.
The perpetrator was young and probably felt being kind and polite...