new neighbour speaking to me like I am an idiot

I agree. People who are older do not suddenly become incapable just because they are older! They have just lived longer but are still and capable as they were when they were 30!

I was I interested in this thread and I find some of the posts amusing but I find the OP’s failure to give examples really bloody irritating.
So many posters have given their own examples so why can’t the OP?
Don’t start a thread unless you can commit to answering a few questions.

I am 67 and I live in Sheltered Accommodation. Where I am now the Housing Officer is very nice but a bit gullible. A couple of years ago I lived somewhere else and had an incident where two Housing Officers came in to my flat because they thought it was empty then lied to me about it.

Sheltered Accommodation isn't like a care home. It's not that different from an ordinary block of flats. They're not allowed to unlock your door and come into your flat. Then to lie about it and pretend they were doing it because they were worried about you is unforgiveable. They hadn't knocked on my door or made a phone call or left a text message.

Because I was getting an extractor fan replaced in my kitchen I had moved everything off my surfaces into the main room. Someone had been looking through my windows and decided that the flat was empty. It was either of these HOs or a troublemaker who had been looking through my windows before (he reported me for having a camping gas hob in my kitchen: he'd mistaken a single-ring electric hob for a camping gas hob).

I could have got them both sacked for doing that. I wish I had now. It's not the only lie I have been told by HOs. I wish I'd said "We might be old but we're not stupid" and "It's not me who's stupid, it's you".

But what is she actually saying to you?

I offer help to my neighbours of all ages, immediate next door have tiny kids so we always get their bins in, I say if they need any help with anything please let us know. We're possibly 15 years older than them at least.

Are you a bit sensitive about aging a perhaps projecting a bit?

Yes

Just bloody well give examples

What a waste of everyone’s time

I do sympathise. I’m 70+ and, just for context, still doing some private tutoring in English Lit and Latin.
Recently, we stayed at a Premier Inn. I needed to ask the receptionist something and she asked me our room number. In the split second it took me to remember and just before I sad “Room 302” she smiled inanely and said “Aaaaw! Bless!”
if I’d had an axe I would have buried it in her head 😡 😡 😡

Definitely need examples! And it would be entertaining, too 😀

What has she actually said to you?

I know a primary school teacher that does with with every adult she meets. She speaks to us in that time like we are silly little children.

Well that's an absolutely astonishing feat of extrapolation.

How long has this been going on, OP? If it's a short term thing it might just sort itself out. If it's a long term one, might just be best to keep interactions short; no point in bad feeling.

Still like the odd all night parties and I'm older than you.
Still into heavy metal, house /garage and never giving up grunge for anyone😄

Not everyone gets on in life obviously you clash with her try to stay invisible and keep away from each other if you bump into her say oh sorry I am extremely busy can not talk

You like to talk bollys I take it.
Does it matter how OP speaks as long as she can make herself understood?

perhaps stop using 'old dear' phrases. so galling that ageism isnt seen as a prejudice and one that is dangerous.

and perhaps 'elderly' could be changed to older adult or much older adult as also mumsnet tends to think anyone over 60 can be called that.unacceptable

quite offensive ageism here.so people who talk about the 80s are old dears?also in a call centre people should not be talking to people in a patronising manner.Mumsnet seem to think that soft ageism is ok.

It's interesting, there's a lot of ageism (and a bit of sizeism!) being displayed in these posts. How is it ever ok to think that if one actually is elderly or a "dotty tiny old lady" as someone has put it, then it would in fact be ok for people to be patronising or use a special voice or manner? The complaints here seem to be that someone who isn't yet old is being treated as if they were. We're all going to be that very elderly person one day, unless we die first, and I don't suppose we'll be any happier with being talked down to then than we are now.

She Is doing it deliberately to undermine you. She doesn’t want others to think she’s a complete bitch so she patronises you in a way to make her look caring and sympathetic whilst making you appear older and doddery.

At the heart of it is insecurity and jealousy.

You regain the power by talking down to her and stopping this nonsense.

’Bethany, stop talking to me like I’m an idiot, it’s very patronising and makes you look foolish!’

Yeah that struck me as well. 80 wasn't the olden days, I was around in the 80s and I'm early 50s. There nothing olde. days about it. I went to raves for heaven sake .

One of my favourite responses from our neighbours (about ten years older than us) was when we had a housewarming party and they came to say goodbye.
Mrs Neighbour "We are off to bed now"
Me "Oh we'll try to keep the noise down"
Mrs Neighbour "Yes, us too" 😂
This was when I knew we would be friends 😁

@CalmDownKarenreally? Tolerate your neighbour is the worst advice you’ve ever heard? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

SaturatedCorn Just be grateful that she is not one of those neighbours from hell.

I think you are confusing things. Able-bodied people can jump out of the way of a car quicker than an electric scooter user can stop. A car driver can kill a pedestrian or electric scooter user, so they should give way. Most young pedestrians have acute hearing and sight, so we might expect them to not move in front of us, but an elderly person on a Zimmer frame or electric scooter might not have sensed us. It is not because they are stupid, it is because their senses are no longer acute. The electric scooter is a clear sign that a road user is vulnerable.

Well that was a massive drip feed OP! You haven't been recognising her, because you are partially sighted, and she had no idea of the cause of your apparently strange behaviour (her perception). She has adjusted her approach accordingly.