To dislike most people nowadays ?

On the idea about the elderly having comfort in friends etc, that can go the other way as well.

I see it with my elderly MIL, it might just be her but the people she knows all have various problems associated with ageing, illness and family problems and it just seems to drag her down to be honest.

I think maybe interacting with more of a range of people not just other elderly people who are isolated and with problems might help.

She seems to spend her time in a spiral of anxiety about them all, sometimes not wanting not to pick up the phone but feeling she 'has to'

One in particular is alone and drinks, and will call MIL late in the evening ranting about immigrants and past things done to her by men, for example. Another has a problem with animal hoarding. Another refuses to use any technology not even a TV then complains about being lonely.

None of them want to take medicines including for things like high blood pressure then have this oddly competitive thing where they go on about whose is the highest which is a bit odd. It's not helpful either as they encourage each other not to engage with doctors and could result in a stroke..

Well I am with you. I try my best as I have always being less tolerant of people. I just find it very hard now I am older. Recently saw some old friends who are having many problems with daily existence like toilet breaks, food diets and allergies. One seems to have health anxiety. Honestly, they really did not add much to me in our time together. I am the same age and feel much younger. I am not pushing for the next reunion. Totally conscious that I will be myself but feel better this way I suppose. Do not want company at all costs.

I feel like this but I hate it. It only seems to have been the past 5 or so years but the past year has been worse than ever for awful people.

I voted YABU. People are not mainly 'dickheads'. They are just getting on with their own lives. It's absolutely fine for you to enjoy being alone and not want to spend time with others, but it's not good for you or anyone else to have this negative attitude.

Other people are annoying when they don't give you what you want. Why expect otherwise? But they aren't doing it to be annoying. I have quite a few long term friends and I'd never want to lose any of them. They all have qualities I appreciate, but sometimes when I'm with one or more of them, I feel disappointed that I'm not having a great time. At others (more often) we have a lovely time and I feel close to them and supported. I accept that is how life is.

My parents are in their 80s. When I look at them and their friends, the ones that seem to have the best quality of life, interestingly are not the ones with the most devoted children and grandchildren. They are actually the ones who have friends and a social life.

The kids and grandkids will have their own lives. But friends with shared experiences are the ones that have the time and availability to relate to issues and understand the aches and pains and trials (and positives) of getting older, from what I see.

It has definitely made me invest even more in my friendship in my 50s, however irritable and perimenopausal I may be feeling!

I think it's easier to be this way at 40 than it is at 80 (although it does seem more common in 80 year olds). When you are relatively young and fit and able it is much easier to go off and do stuff by yourself, and have pets. As you get older and less able, long walks and going to gigs and things alone can be less fun. You start to feel a bit more vulnerable and it can be nice to have one or two people in your social circle that you can rely on.

It’s easy to feel this way, but you have to remember that is often only the dickheads that you notice because of their dickish behaviour. I find myself falling down the “people are awful” rabbit hole a lot. I try to remind myself that actually most people are decent and I shouldn’t let the dickheads distract me from that. It’s bloody hard some days though! Also the only person really suffering from my irritability is me. The dickheads neither know nor care what I think of them. So I try and take a deep breath and let it go for my own mental health.

Agreed. I am so bored of people saying that they HaTe OtHeR PeOpLe. They clearly lack the intelligence to know that they too are other people and yet think they are somehow a bit different. If you hate all people, perhaps take a look in the mirror and it might be you.

I am pretty friendly and welcoming IRL and find that I get out what I put into interactions with others. Whether that’s the local dry cleaner or a good friend. I tend to expect the best from others (though am assertive and no doormat when needed).

The pandemic has normalised this antisocial behaviour and it’s not good.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to just spend time on your own! It’s very normal to need that.

No, I find I like most people I come across in real life. Enough to get on with them, I'm not saying I'd make them bosom buddies.

Yes, the OP will find this to be an echochamber of like minded people.

SIL is like this. She is so full of negativity and is such a joy sponge. She is rude to people, then says that most people are horrible. She doesn't have the social awareness to realise that she is the common denominator.

Then she complains that she is lonely!

I like my own space, but I meet lovely, lovely every day….but I do try to be lovely back.

Since 2021 when people showed their true colours to me, yes I'm the same.

No it’s not an age thing. I’m 68 and whilst I naturally dislike some people I also like a lot of others. I also love being alone as well as enjoying the company of others. Frankly you sound misanthropic.

👍👍

Pensioner here (81) and had 3 different careers all of which were public facing or involved a client group. In roles like that you often have to keep your mouth shut and suck it up. I still sell online and am always professional to my customers. However email is not the same (as face to face) as you can use a lot of template messages..

When you have spent a lifetime having to be "nice" to people (some of whom were dickheads) then you come to the point where youve had enough of them. I dont interact with neighbours, hold keys or take in parcels. Ive put my share into the community and now I enjoy my own space with a clear conscience. And yes - I am one of those weird Mumsnetters who does not open the door unless its a postie or a courier with a package for me.

Totally agree. Very happy with my dog and to shut the door when I come home from work.

It's funny, when I run, 99% of the men get out of the way, and step out of the path for me. It's women who are downright rude! (SOME women, there are lovely smiley ladies too)

Why do people on MN think they don't annoy other people? You all do stuff that pisses other people off.

I don't like the idea of "people" as a group - I don't like crowds, traffic, busy places

but to most people are dickheads
I don't agree.

I think so many people are supportive, helpful, I am always taken aback how many go above and beyond to help and be involved. There are a lot of dickheads, but there are more genuinely nice people.

No one is perfect, everyone can have their moments, but on the whole, enough good ones to make it worth it.

YANBU - I'm with you all the way. Particularly young men in high performance cars and women in enormous 4WDs who can't see over the steering wheel. Neighbours who allow their sodding children to slam their footballs into the sodding fence. Spam callers (particularly ones who call before 9am). Scooter riders who don't have number plates and cover their faces (hope the little bastards fall off and break their bloody necks). People who mistreat animals. Anyone who mansplains to me. People who park in disabled spaces when they're not, may they rot in Hell.

That's just the start of my list.

Might be you attracting them. There’s plenty of great people worth to meet out there.

See I don't get this. Why do you think you are so special that you are just not like everyone else.You are.

Maybe they think-you are a dickhead,

I’m 41 and feel exactly the same.