Grown man just shouted at DD2

He left and went elsewhere? So whilst it wasn’t great he shouted, he removed himself from the situation?

People feel weirdly entitled to shout at children in a way they wouldn’t at adults. I’d bet good money that he wouldn’t have yelled at a grown man who, for example, was playing music on his phone, or crying. Or two adults having a loud conversation. I doubt the toddler was the only irritant on the train (trains are full of annoying people), but she was the only one he yelled at.

He’s a knob.

Goodness, how do most of us (particularly not men) manage to make it through life without shouting at vulnerable people, like children, the elderly, those with special needs, when we're going through a hard time?

It really is possible.

Whatever is going on in his life doesn't excuse taking it out on those around him, who are far less able than him to stick up for themselves. Or, indeed, move.

This^ personally I probably wouldn't have gone off because I'd find a grown man shouting like that intimidating and I'd have been worried about what he'd escalate to if this is how he thinks he can speak to a 2 year old and I'd worry about ds being in the middle of that but if I was a passenger watching that without ds with me then I absolutely would have challenged him on it. What a twat.

Who cares?! Stay home if you cannot abide other people shouting!

See how that works?

You definitely need to get a grip and should probably stay home though, though you sound really unhinged.

I have autism and adhd.

to be clear, I wouldn’t have said anything.

but I have a fuckton of crap going on in my life at the moment and I find it hard to regulate.

I would have gone elsewhere.

But I can understand someone being unable to cope and reacting.

If you take public transport, you’re going to have to deal with the public, which applies to the man and to you.

He should have asked if there was a quiet carriage.

And you should try as much as you are able to keep your children quiet.

The guy was just an arsehole. Forget about it.

A two year old is, however, a kid. As I stated.

you’ve no idea what’s going on in his life

who cares?! If your life is so severely going of the rails that you cannot trust yourself not to shout and swear in response to normal every day situations then you need to remove yourself from the general public until you can get a fucking grip of yourself.

Nope. In that case all adults must all stay home at all times in case they get angry while out and about. You have definitely shouted/got angry/overreacted in public at some point in your life. Absolutely 100 percent definitely.

You should therefore never leave home again. Doesn't work.

A two year old isn’t a baby.

What the difference between a man and a grown man?

Ok, that's a bit different. He should have just got up and moved. Sorry he scared your kids.

It's super weird to me that people who understand that babies and kids can't help being loud pretend not to understand that adults cannot help being upset by them screaming and crying

@thebabayaga2025

adults who cannot help themselves shouting into the ether when confronted with a distressed baby in public transport should stay at home .

I am sorry he shouted but you’ve no idea what’s going on in his life.

I am sure the kids are possibly noisier than you think and he may be having a bad day.

Or he might just be an arse.

Honestly don’t give it another thought.

Absolutely word for word what I was going to say 👏👏

Don't worry about it OP.

Some people react like dicks when kids are being annoying (and they were probably way louder and more annoying than you think).

He had no right to shout. He should've just bitten his tongue and prayed for your kids to calm down.

In the past I have said something back

But these days would try and ignore. You don't know whether he would attack or not.

But YANBU

I don’t think we can stop people getting irritated by other people’s kids I’m afraid. Whilst you are used to them and their noice he isn’t.

Id be upset too but I’d move on

I’d have told him to take his own advice and then ignored him. Intolerant arse, but not worth wasting any more of your thoughts on.

Or demented, if he is over 40

He didn't actually shout at your children, did he? He just shouted it into the air. You'd very definitely have told us if your kids were upset by it or even noticed it.

Maybe he was a dick, maybe he was in extreme distress.

It's super weird to me that people who understand that babies and kids can't help being loud pretend not to understand that adults cannot help being upset by them screaming and crying. It's literally built into us we have evolved to have our blood pressure shoot up and our adrenalin and cortisol spike when we hear screaming kids.

Maybe he was ND or had just had his mum die or had simply reached the end of his rope. No idea.

But it sounds like he did nothing actually TO your kids, just shouted into the air.

So move on.

Can't post links
Fleming et al. (2002): Cortisol release in response to infant cries.
Giardino et al. (2008): Cortisol elevation in adults hearing baby cries.
Brazy et al. (1993) and Ludington-Hoe et al. (1994): Increased intracranial blood pressure from prolonged crying exposure.
Out et al. (2010): Cardiac reactivity (heart rate/blood pressure) to cry sounds.

Bet he would not have said that to a bunch of drunk lads!!

yes they may have been a bit more noise than maybe related but there was no need to shout.