Feel so ugly in my 40s

I think mid forties ageing hits. I looked young all my life. Im not even getting lots of wrinkles but my face just looks older and i feel so mehhhh. It’s not ageing that i’m mehhh about but i just don’t feel comfy in my own skin.

Its hard to describe but nothing feels right clothing wise and i always now feel frumpy and nothing hangs right. I think it’s hormones too. I haven’t put weight on, i exercise and eat v well etc.

My nose got huge during pregnancy when I was 40 and hasn't really gone back to normal I dont think. I agree that if I looked like but old Id b e happier, but I dont look like me, its like my whole head shape is different. Im glad its not just me that thinks this though!

It's the jowls. They reach a tipping point & suddenly one day your face isn't quite your own anymore.

Have a cry, get over it, carry on, because we only ever get ONE face and ONE body and it does a brilliant job day to day and nobody else really gives a shit what we look like, they love us for our sparkling wit & personality.

(Goes off for a cry with lopsided eyes and turkey neck)

I am absolutley getting the same face thing. The other day I put my fingers on the jawline skin under my ears to tighten it and wow, the difference. I'm definitely headed for jowls, also a stone or so to get to my "good weight".

I've considered botox, and honestly might start it. I think that there is a massive cultural change of what being 40 looks like in our parents era vs ours. We are expected to look/feel 25 somehow still, and our generation tends to have children later, and work full time, so we are exhausted, pretending to be a generation younger than we are. I have a friend ageing naturally, and she looks truly fantastic. On the other hand, my face has never been oilier (thanks perimenopause), my jeans are fitting tighter than they should, and I'm an exhausted hot mess :). I do love my body, I appreciate my body, but I think I might be ready to throw money at the problem. I didn't know that Botox did other face areas, but makes sense that it does. Interesting...

Yep, totally relate. However I notice when I shed a few pounds (before swiftly gaining them again 🫣) my face always looks better and I feel ‘me’ again. Making an effort with my hair also helps. But generally I’m just too tired to do much.

Yes! Look less was the best advice I saw

Same here. When I see Shirley Ballas prancing around on screen at the age of 65 looking amazing I wish her money to afford the surgery she’s had.

I had masseter Botox for jaw clenching and I really regret it, although I was in agony at the time. I’m mid-40s and it’s slimmed my face too much. I feel like I look more haggard.

I’m actually considering having a small amount of filler in my jaw to pull things back up.

Instead of avoiding the mirror start using it more. Mad as it seems the more you get used to seeing you, you will be more objective and less emotional. Take lots of selfies in different lights and poses and really study yourself.

(From a previous camera avoider who's recently filmed 300+ video shorts and no longer gives a fuck what I think I look like!)

STOP self depreciating and putting yourself down. Please

You are coming across as being very negative and self depreciating OP.
Please focus on your positives, I am sure there are many. You need to work on your confidence too

I feel the same.

My face doesn’t feel like mine anymore, it doesn’t help that the people around me the same age either haven’t aged much or just look like them but older. I don’t. I’ve had people I know who I haven’t seen for a while walk straight passed me and not recognise me. So I know it’s not my perception. It’s horrible.

I'm having botox in masseter too for tempo mandibular dislocation, and jaw issues.
Do try this, also get some free counselling.

Masseter Botox! It’s slimed my jaw down from clenching and chewing, have it about once a year.

A good Botox aesthetician will be able to advise what you need to freshen you up, lift your face and even nasal slimming, it’s not just used for getting rid of wrinkles.

I also did this. I was clenching so hard I was in danger of damaging my teeth and I was getting headaches and a stiff neck. My jawline has noticeably softened and I feel better in myself. I last had it done a year ago and haven’t started clenching again since. But if I do, I will top it up. I know it’s expensive but so is dentistry and I am pleased with the face-slimming side-effects.

Yes I have always ground my teeth and now in my 50s my jaw is positively Hasselhoffian, so I feel your pain. Make sure you have a good overnight dental guard. The rest? It’s horrible when you start to notice the decline that comes for us all. You do get used to it but probably not over it 🌺

I definitely look way worse and just tired and i unfeminine if I don’t have make up on. I care a tiny bit but honestly not that much. My skin isn’t great either. But again, I care a bit but not loads. I wonder why it is that it gets some people down more than others. Genuine question. I’ve never been a great beauty but not hideous either. I think I’d feel worse if I had been super beautiful and then looked like I do now!

I look in the mirror and see my mother .
Very disconcerting.

I think it’s something to do with my mood as I get older that makes me more critical of myself as I’ll have good days where I feel happy with how I look.

I used to jaw clench and grind my teeth subconsciously (thanks stressful ex employer!) I had botox in my massiter muscles on both sides and it cured my grinding and clenching within two weeks. My face slimmed down noticeably as a result.
I was lucky in that I’d already removed the stress so the botox broke the habit and I haven’t had to have it topped up at all

I feel the same, OP. I didn't really recognise myself in that photo yesterday

It’s divisive but very subtle Botox was a game-changer for me. I’d had a very rough time and looked haggard from it. This helped as did skincare, and getting into a happier place with myself. Eyeliner and blush are a must for me to retain that “prettiness” that makes me look a bit more youthful