Safeguarding called me today regarding DD4

Missing the point. OP said she is fully supportive of the system but that the questioning was poorly conducted. And it was. You are not supposed to ask leading questions. It’s interviewing 101

No. The teacher should not have said this. I suppose she could ask "I heard you tell x that Mummy hurt you. What did you mean by that?" A child is then able to say they were playing a game and you banged heads etc. I once had a student proudly tell me his Dad broke his arm... And he did indeed have a broken arm and his Dad had broken it... But obviously his Dad and him had been playing and they'd landed badly etc. I suspect your Safeguarding concern will go through same way. Is there any possibility you did hurt her arm? That part is probably true — it's just the interpretation that's the problem! (knock it in the bath, grab it to stop her running into traffic, hurt it whilst playing?)

Thank goodness you've got her a different school — hopefully the new teachers have had safeguarding training.

What a shock!
completely get you being in this state. Don’t let this bring you down though…they do their job and I am sure it isn’t what they prefere.
arf, kids.

Went to the docs earlier for the flu and there was one child screaming “I don’t want to go home!” Followed by a very embarassed dad 😂😂😂
kids!

They should not have asked that leading question. That is very poor practice
they do have to respond but at least they let you know. Schools can be terrible for referring without talking to parents first
it’s normal to be upset and scared
hsppy to talk via DM if it would help

I’ve been a DSL (designated safeguarding lead) in a school and am currently working as a teacher. I can confirm that they should not have asked her a leading question like that. It is totally against guidance.

They would have had safeguarding training in the last 2 weeks. It specifically say to report low level concerns to a Designated Safeguarding Lead, who will be properly trained to ask the right questions.

I think you need to have a simple chat with your daughter about attention seeking and why she shouldn't tell lies. Not being horrible but if there's something going on with her mentally or physically, that's why she may live 99% of the rime in a fantasy world. Either way,you need to speak to her gently and do a bit of digging as to why she would say that, has someone else hurt her and satisfy yourself that she's physically and mentally unharmed. Don't want to worry you, but if she does keep making things up, the next report could be to the police, depending on what she says.

You need to take the emotion out of it - difficult i know. But when you respond emotionally and defensively it will look suspicious and like the response of someone who had hurt a child. Once you explain and meet with them im sure it will be fine. They are just doing their job and its great they did. If only someone had raised the alarm for all those kids who end up murdered through abuse that slipped through the net. Thank them for being so professionally curious in the interests of children's wellbeing. Dont worry about the school move.

Omg! Words fail me....

The school handled this exactly how they should, and exactly how most parents would want them to, you have no reason to email them. They were looking after your child’s best interests.

When my DD was in y4 (so approx.9 yrs) the class watched an NSPCC video along the lines of DV in the home and when to tell an adult. My DD then disclosed that "my mum and dad shout at each other every night and they wake me up at night its so loud, they are always arguing)
I got the dreaded safeguarding call, could I come in for a meeting that day.
I got there and they told me the disclosure, my DD was waiting outside. I was so shocked, I said "what?? She hears me and my husband arguing? Are you sure she said it was us?" As by 9pm when the kids are in bed, we are usually far to exhausted from the day to say more than do you want a cup of tea! Plus my husband is so laid back, he probably only raises his voice once a year! " The SG lead said she could see from my face that I had no idea what she was talking about so they brought me DD and I thought oh here we go, she will backtrack now but no, she doubled down, it was definitely dads voice she could hear shouting and me shouting back and it kept her awake night after night.
We made an agreement that next time she heard us shouting and it woke her up, she was to come downstairs and we would reassure her all was ok. Funnily enough, she has never come down since and I asked her every morning after for months amd months to check if she was ok. We also spoke to our DS (who was a teen at the time) and he had never heard anything either.

A few days after the meeting, I spoke to DD about it again, reassured she wasnt in trouble and I assured her id rather she told a teacher etc if she was ever worried, and asked was she sure thats what she heard. It turned out the video reminded her of one day, over 2 years earlier(!!!) When my DH and I had had an argument because he left chicken to defrost on the kitchen bench for over 24 hours, on a hot July day, and then tried to cook and feed it to us and I was not impressed with the chance of food poisoning and made my feelings known.

For about a year after, I avoided the SG lead in the playground, and could not look her in face. I did have a meeting with DDs teacher a few weeks later and assured her id got to the bottom of what was going on but the embarrassment was real! The school assured me it was the first time and it wont be the last that this sort of thing happened, so please dont worry too much OP, you will be surprised at how many people this has happened to! I was telling friends and they shared similar stories too

You are not being unreasonable. The safeguarding team really shouldn’t ask leading questions like that, so yes, that was a mistake on their part.

In my experience working in education, you can absolutely contact the school and ask to speak to (or meet with) the Designated Safeguarding Lead. It’s perfectly reasonable to request a copy or summary of what’s been logged about the concern, so you know exactly what’s on record. When this kind of information is shared with a new school, it’s normally nothing more than a brief note such as “concern raised, checked, no evidence found.” That way you can be reassured it won’t follow you or your child around in a negative way.

I think you have read it wrong.

It wasn't "X heard you say that mummy had hurt you on your arm. Is that what you said? Mummy hurt me on my arm"

It went like this:
Another child heard the DD saying "mummy hurt me" and that child told the teacher.
Teacher then asked DD if mummy hurt her. DD said yes and then pointed to her arm.

This is OP's concern and I would feel the same.
It WASN'T correct protocol and could lead to problems.

The way the school addressed it was completely wrong
they will get a social worker to follow up and then close it once their checks have been done and they have no concerns

That’s shockingly bad behaviour on the part of the teacher. The first thing you are taught in safeguarding training is never to ask leading questions.

Absolutely agree. Not only a leading question but also a closed question "does your mummy hurt you ?"
Whoever questioned this child has zero knowledge of how to deal with this situation and should have referred it to someone who is more qualified.

His school's safeguarding team, the police, and social services will view that very differently.

They absolutely should not have said, did mummy hurt you. And when that is documented, as it should be verbatim the lado will question that question. I’ve also done just safeguarding training for early years (which your child is).
it is good they are trying to help. However, if they actually believed your child was in danger and you had hurt her they wouldn’t have called you. I’d actually ask to speak to their designated safeguarding lead, because that’s two quite large errors that have been made there that could lead to a child being put into danger if this was to be done with an actual safeguarding issue.

But that's different because your DD didn't answer yes, that mummy did hurt her. Which is what this thread is about.

A similar thing happened to me except about a sexual thing....children being curious...and social workers came to my house. I felt awful. It is embarrassing and stressful and upsetting but I know they need to all be doing their jobs so I just had to suck it up. Nothing came of it because I think they were experienced enough to see he had a safe home...with me ...a single mum. I understand how you feel but you just need to move on.

My Dd started climbing as soon as she could walk, her legs were always bruised. Her teacher asked if mummy or daddy had hurt her and she said 'no I just fell off the bench in the yard' I was reassured that they were checking, rather than upset that she was asked.

I worked in family support for 12 years. We were trained not to ask children leading questions, so you're right to be uneasy about it. It's not good practice.
But I was also summoned by the teacher once when my five year old had a weeping meltdown at school. They'd asked "Are you in pain"? No. "Are you upset about someone"? Yes. "Is it someone in class? No. Is it Mummy?" Yes.
It turned out he'd overheard me telling another mother I was terrified of the dentist I was going to that morning and had imploded an hour later.
I still cringe at the implied accusation, but I'm 100% sure nobody else remembered it a week later.
I hope you and your ❤️ little best friend ❤️ love the new school.

The staff should not have asked closed/leading questions. A better question to ask would’ve been ‘have you hurt yourself?’, etc.
try not to worry.

I agree.

(Kept clicking on the wrong reaction thingy, sorry)