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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Term time holiday dates dilemma

63 replies

user657865337 · 11/09/2025 19:54

My DS started reception this year. We have booked a holiday for what we thought was October half term but it turns out we are actually due to fly out two days before term finishes eeek Blush (apparently DH checked the 24/25 calendar rather than the 25/26 calendar hence the mistake). We can pay a fair few hundred to change the date but I’d really rather not. AIBU to call him in sick for the two days? What would you do?? If it makes a difference he turns 5 at the beginning of October

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/09/2025 23:14

Newton161 · 11/09/2025 23:12

The first point is demonstrably correct albeit won’t matter to some people.

The second is also true but probably not typical at most schools. We rejected our catchment and other local schools for this reason.

Joining a school where virtually all parents are fully engaged creates a very different environment for the children.

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‘Gullible’ is what they call that. And no, the first one is an opinion, fact.

Newton161 · 11/09/2025 23:12

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/09/2025 23:08

No, one is an opinion, and the other one is crap.

Show quote history

The first point is demonstrably correct albeit won’t matter to some people.

The second is also true but probably not typical at most schools. We rejected our catchment and other local schools for this reason.

Joining a school where virtually all parents are fully engaged creates a very different environment for the children.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/09/2025 23:08

Newton161 · 11/09/2025 22:57

Both points are factually correct.

Not everyone wants to disrupt schooling just to save a few hundred pounds.

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No, one is an opinion, and the other one is crap.

Newton161 · 11/09/2025 22:57

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/09/2025 22:47

Bullshit

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Both points are factually correct.

Not everyone wants to disrupt schooling just to save a few hundred pounds.

monkeysox · 11/09/2025 22:48

user657865337 · 11/09/2025 19:54

My DS started reception this year. We have booked a holiday for what we thought was October half term but it turns out we are actually due to fly out two days before term finishes eeek Blush (apparently DH checked the 24/25 calendar rather than the 25/26 calendar hence the mistake). We can pay a fair few hundred to change the date but I’d really rather not. AIBU to call him in sick for the two days? What would you do?? If it makes a difference he turns 5 at the beginning of October

Just explain it's less than 5 days .
Hes only compulsory school age the term after he turns 5

Bumblebee72 · 11/09/2025 22:47

I wouldn't get 4 year old to lie. They aren't great at it - the first thing tell the teacher is that "mummy told to say I was ill when we went on holiday".

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/09/2025 22:47

Newton161 · 11/09/2025 22:45

It’s a very poor example taking a child out of school but that’s your personal choice.

Thankfully none of the parents at DS’s school ever do it.

Bullshit

Newton161 · 11/09/2025 22:45

It’s a very poor example taking a child out of school but that’s your personal choice.

Thankfully none of the parents at DS’s school ever do it.

GlasgowGal2014 · 11/09/2025 22:44

Don't lie to the school because it will just make it awkward if he tells them about the holiday and they realise that's why he went off early! This is not an uncommon occurrence and in fact about half my kids class disappeared the week before the Easter holidays this year because they were later than normal but parents booked holidays based on when they thought the school would be closed! Kids learn lots when they are on holiday anyway, and it is important to have family time too.

Arlanymor · 11/09/2025 22:35

KatyaKat · 11/09/2025 22:28

You only get fined for 5 consecutive days, not 2

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Editing because the point I was making is fairly unique to my part of the world.

KatyaKat · 11/09/2025 22:28

Arlanymor · 11/09/2025 19:58

I would tell the truth. I don’t believe you can be fined until after he turns 5 - although sounds like this is happening before the trip. If you do get fined and it is less that the cost to change the dates then it’s probably worth it. I wouldn’t advocate this at any other age, but he’s right on the cusp and as another poster has said, the curriculum proper starts in January.

You only get fined for 5 consecutive days, not 2

nutbrownhare15 · 11/09/2025 22:23

He is not compulsory school age until the term after he turns five so spring term. So reception parents can take them out for as long as they like in autumn term. But as others have noted, you wouldn't be fined for two days anyway.

HannahHamptonsGloves · 11/09/2025 22:01

I have voted YABU but only because there is literally no reason to lie. Just tell them the truth. Nothing will happen - especially if your child isn't 5 yet. Your child will almost certainly drop you in it if you do, it's not a great example to him, school will also likely know you are lying and they won't care if you tell the truth.

Go, have a lovely time, don't give it anymore thought 🙂

cestlavielife · 11/09/2025 21:59

user657865337 · 11/09/2025 19:58

Thank you. Does this mean it’s not compulsory for him to be in school until January?

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You signed him up to start school in September so he is expected to attend. But it s two days and reception. Just tell school and off you go.

SensitiveOverthinker · 11/09/2025 21:56

Enjoy your holiday. Will be the best thing for your little man! Just be honest x

Sassylovesbooks · 11/09/2025 21:56

Don't lie, just be honest. I can tell you the majority of children (especially young ones), always end up telling a member of staff they're going on holiday or have been on holiday! I work in a First school, so see it on occasions!!

pizzaHeart · 11/09/2025 21:50

Baddaybigcloud · 11/09/2025 19:59

Just tell them the truth and say your husband looked at the wrong calendar and you’re going to have to take two days unauthorised leave. No big deal.

This ^

Iloveacurry · 11/09/2025 21:49

It’s only 2 days. Tell school the truth - it’s just unauthorised absence. Don’t worry too much about it.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/09/2025 21:47

So did he think half term would start on a wednesday? I think that’d be pretty unusual! But regardless he’s only in reception I wouldn’t worry about it, enjoy the holiday!

GameWheelsAlarm · 11/09/2025 21:43

Don't call him in sick. It is not at all a proportionate reaction to teach your child to lie. Be honest with the school. It was an honest mistake. You may get a fine (the school don't make that decision) but the fine will be lower than changing the tickets. Don't sweat it.

jmh740 · 11/09/2025 21:38

School attendance officer here, don't lie just fill in the forms they will send you a letter saying it will be unauthorised but you won't be fined as it's less than 5 days.

neverbeenskiing · 11/09/2025 20:11

I work in a school and Attendance is one of my responsibilities.
Just tell the truth, that your DH made an honest mistake and to change the dates would cost you hundreds of pounds. There's really there's no need to lie. Fill in a leave of absence request form (should be on the website or you can get one from the office), they will send you a standard letter or email saying it won't be "authorised" because they have to follow protocol, but they won't actually care and you certainly won't be fined or anything. They'll appreciate you not trying to bullshit them.
Trust me, when parents lie, we usually know anyway. The kids almost always grass you up and tell us that they weren't really poorly!😂
On a more serious note, as a DSL I think normalising lying and keeping secrets for a kid this age is a really bad idea from a safeguarding point of view. They need to feel able to trust their new school adults, and talk openly to them about problems or worries. Telling them they have to lie to their Teachers sends the wrong message.

SJM1988 · 11/09/2025 20:04

Dont lie. Just tell them you are going away if you dont want to change the dates.
Its under the amount you'd get fined for

Praying4Peace · 11/09/2025 20:04

TeenToTwenties · 11/09/2025 19:56

Don't call him in sick.
Say you are going away and go.
Don't lie to the school.
He isn't mandated for education until jan anyway

This plus children tend to tell the truth

CopperWhite · 11/09/2025 20:03

Take the holiday as planned but tell the truth.

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