RSV season warning in family chat

It's so strange because it's well known that kids are a major transmission source of cold and flu bugs! So keeping you distance is unlikely to improve thier health but may help yours OP.

😆 brilliant 🤣

I’m honestly always surprised when people say this. I have two kids and no idea why but they’re so rarely sick and have always been the same. I know we do nothing to deserve this and it’s just luck but I just find it. We’ve done school/nursery and I own a kids club so they’ve got a triple whammy for catching stuff

I wasn’t a newborn or immunocompromised. I spent 2 months in ITU because of RSV. My lungs are now functioning at about 55%
Its rare, but RSV can be fatal.

RSV put me in intensive care for 2 months. Even the common cold can be deadly sometimes.

at the end of the day they’re her children and if she doesn’t want you to kiss them, then don’t kiss them.

I don’t blame her, RSV put my youngest in hospital for a week when he 8 months old, and he’s not immunocompromised. After that I don’t knowingly let anyone who’s unwell near my kids, and I don’t give a monkeys if people think I’m batshit, I’d rather be labelled batshit than see him go through that again.

You seem VERY angry at being asked not to kiss someone else’s child. No one needs to kiss another person’s child.

Just don't kiss her kids. This literally does not affect you.

In rhat case they shouldn't be around people at all or go to nursery. Your sil needs to isolate and be round people.

Yes 4 is little. 15m is still very young.
RSV isn't the common cold, it is more likely to cause serious symptoms.

Maybe you could just let this small request go, it doesn't harm you. Sometimes parents do over worry, but that's not a big deal.

I do think you’re being a bit OTT saying you won’t be seeing them anymore. By all means say you won’t have them when sick, but refusing to see them because of this is a bit nuclear

I’d respond and say no worries, and to be honest i’ve been thinking i’d like to avoid colds this winter so will only be babysitting when in full health. How ironic for her to say that when they are picking up illness at nursery and spreading it to other family members.

"fine line between exposure to germs to build resistance".
There's a misconception that exposure to viruses is necessary to build immunity. The hygiene hypothesis is related to bacteria you find in dirt. No infectious disease Dr worth their salt will encourage exposure to viral pathogens however. The only safe exposure is through vaccines.

Otherwise if exposure was necessary to build immunity, why aren't we exposing ourselves to, say, HIV in small doses?

With regards respiratory illnesses, schools and nurseries need to be applying airborne mitigations, not just surface cleaning. There is plenty of real world evidence that ventilating classrooms with open windows and running HEPA air purifiers reduces sick days of both staff and children. Have a look at www.cleanairforkids.co.uk and share this with your school administrators.

Even norovirus and measles can transmit through airborne means. And flu, RSV, whooping cough, COVID, TB...

I think it’s pretty fair to expect a mum with such standards re exposure to absolutely not drop them off poorly and also keep them home from childcare poorly. I don’t know if I’d have been as nuclear as the op but I’d say if we are going to be so very careful about colds etc then I absolutely can’t babysit them while they have sniffles, please cancel any plans immediately if they have a cold, I won’t be letting them in.

RSV is definitely not a cold. Even in 4-5 year olds it can cause serious illness requiring hospitalisation, and in older adults too. Hence over 60s should get vaccinated.
But your SIL needs to be aware that it's airborne. So avoiding kissing is not enough. Prioritise outdoor time, ventilate homes with open windows, and run air purifiers if you have them. Schools should be doing the same - infected kids breathe out infectious aerosols that others breathe in and get infected by - so handwashing is not going to stop you inhaling infectious particles. This is why masking is effective against airborne viruses.

To be honest you sound a little crazy to me. If you can’t last a couple of months without kissing someone else’s child then I think there are bigger issues than whether they get RSV. My daughter is only 11 weeks old but nobody will be kissing her at all until she’s old enough to give her consent. Children and babies immune systems are immature and I don’t think you wanting to kiss them should come before the possibility of them getting ill.

My very fit, (works in professional sport) DH has had RSV and is still coughing 12wks on. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Little kids aren’t vaccinated for this. It’s contagious and can be fatal. Why would you question this?

Shes not unreasonable its her kids health and her choice.

I've never seen someone so obsessed with KISSING someone else's kids. It's bizarre. Do you have children of your own? These kids aren't yours. No one is mentioning no cuddles. You don't need to kiss children to settle them...nursery nurses manage fine.

Do you have a condition like rejection sensitive dysphoria?

Do you generally struggle in life with being told no to things?

Some people underplay lots of viruses that hurt children, RSV, covid etc and say they’re just a cold no matter how much data is thrown their way. Yes, they’ll pick stuff up from nursery, but she’s asking for a precaution from the OP. She’s not calling OP a biohazard - asymptomatic spread happens! It would also be perfectly reasonable to ask her to let you know when they have a virus that you don’t want to catch if she doesn’t just volunteer that info - if she said “you can catch it on a train or at work”, that would also be a bit shit. Long covid in kids more than doubled in a year. RSV leads to almost half a million GP appointments a year, along with the other horrible consequences cited on this thread. Hope you and SIL can work something out.

Maybe she is being overly cautious. However, I'm someone who has never kissed other people's children, including family, so it would be easy enough to avoid doing. Is it really that necessary to kiss them while babysitting that you had to start an argument over it? Both of you sound over the top. You're no better than she is.

What does it matter to you? There are campaigns every year by the NHS warning everyone not to kiss babies. She is just a mum doing her best for her family.
Are you a parent?

I’m so sorry.

You sound ridiculous OP. You may feel it’s OTT, it may well be, it may not be logical, maybe she’s overly anxious, but she is just doing something because she wants to try to protect her children, whereas you are just someone that can’t be told and is now having a strop. All you had to do was not kiss them, that’s all. She isn’t asking for anything extra from you, she isn’t creating work or extra tasks. Just don’t kiss them. Thats literally it.

I have a feeling from your attitude on this thread, that you no longer seeing them won’t be much of a loss, and maybe a positive thing. You should try to deal with situations more maturely in future. Presuming you love and care for your nephews, you have now just lost them. Well done. 🙄

RSV is no joke and I personally don’t blame her for sending that message after my baby being hospitalised with it twice !