RSV season warning in family chat

Immunocompromised is when you have immune deficiency

Autoimmune means your immune system misfires. Some autoimmune conditions are sometimes treated with immunosuppression, but not all and not always

Just reply: "on the same topic I would appreciate it if anyone in the family is symptomatic you inform us in advance so we can make a decision as to whether or not we want to risk coming down with a virus"

RSV is most definitely not the common cold.

Another one here who’s had a baby hospitalised with RSV. Mine wasn’t a newborn but around 1. It was bloody horrible quite frankly and I don’t think I slept for 3 weeks so I sort of think more awareness of RSV isn’t a bad thing and I’m glad it’s been added to the vaccination programme.

I think you’ve massively over/reacted OP. She might be being a bit over anxious but you’ve gone nuclear without asking why she’s asked.

Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune condition, so does it not follow that he is immunocompromised ?

Meanwhile they’re at nursery licking the doorhandles! 🤣

My daughter didn't either but she caught RSV at about a year old and she had to spend a night in hospital.

Her child is only 15 months old, she could have some underlying post natal depression or anxiety still so I'd approach this gently. It's no big deal to offer a cuddle and not a kiss. Social media being what it is now you view one horrific post about some poor child who became seriously ill or died and your suddenly in an echo chamber of similar stories and it's utterly petrifying when you're already anxious.
It's clear you don't like her though, so you might be better off stepping back a little instead of judging her choices to still have a social life when her children are being cared for.

I think you've gone nuclear in response to a fairly mild request from a possibly anxious parent. RSV is not just a common cold and doesn't just make tiny babies ill (both mine ended up in hospital when similar ages to your nephews). Presumably she can't choose whether or not they go to nursery, but can try and influence how friends and family interact with them. You also can't realistically compare her concern for their health vs yours- she's their mum, you're an adult.

I think you really need to reflect on why this is bothering you so much and why you have effectively lashed out in response. Why didn't you feel you could call her and chat about it instead?

It’s not ‘hypocrisy’ because RSV in a baby is not the same as getting a virus as an adult.

Are you seriously saying you deserve the opportunity to kiss and possibly give your niece/nephew RSV because they come to you with a snotty nose?

You clearly don’t have your own children as you’re avoiding answering the question -if you do one day you’ll understand better why their mum wants to protect their children. Either that or you are MIL pretending to be SIL in this scenario and haven’t had young children in a while / thinking you’re entitled to these children.

Honestly you sound like hard work and sounds like you just want to criticise your SIL for something because it’s just very weird how fixated you are on trying to kiss someone else’s child. Most normal people’s response to that message would have been ‘sure no problem’.

I said that and she said it’s not a big deal. It’s the hypocrisy that has pissed me off so much. She couldn’t give a shit about her family’s health, as long as she gets to go out.

Then why do you provide free childcare then or at all if? You could say no and establish boundaries like she has.

Why add this now?

Could have said this from the beginning.

YABVU

You could not provide childcare. You could also not kiss children when their parents say don’t.

From your posts, reads like you’re just fed up with her and using this as an excuse to do what you should have done ages ago.

The spouse seems to support this by saying nothing yet you have more ire for SIL and not both of them.

I agree it’s a bit batshit on her part. Maybe she is very tired atm?!? It is full on when they’re ill but equally I think it’s unrealistic to expect them to not be ill and you aren’t the biggest ‘risk’ factor in it either. It’s childcare settings and busy public spaces etc. I’d tell her you’ll be mindful and then just be normal! X

I know you feel hurt that she doesn’t want you showing affection to her children but my toddler had RSV at 13 months - ended up spending a week in hospital on a breathing and feeding tube. It was awful.

Surely sensible boundaries around physical contact is a win win situation then?

Because an adults immune system is a lot more stronger than a baby / child!!
if you are that annoyed by this why don’t you speak to her and say if the children are poorly please keep them away?

I’m really surprised people think YANBU!!
RSV IS SERIOUS! It is not a common cold!!

my baby was hospitalised and nearly had to be put on life support.
just don’t kiss the babies!!!!! I’m guessing you don’t have children either?

Wrong

RSV can cause symptoms similar to the common cold aka rhinovirus, but it's an entirely different virus and is potentially deadly to many

www.nhs.uk/conditions/respiratory-syncytial-virus-rsv/

Isn’t this what the high five, air hug and fist bump were created for? OP you have no idea what else is going on under the surface. Why is this a hardship for you?

Nobody thinks stopping extra kisses will prevent illness. It can reduce the risk though and surely if we have leant anything in the last few years it’s the importance of simple measures to prevent spread?

If the OP can’t respect a simple boundary then perhaps it’s better for them that she doesn’t see them

It is obvious that you don't agree with your SIL regardless of what responses you are given. That is your perogative. But...what are you trying to prove by saying that you just won't see them then!
You are acting in a very childish way and risk any relationship you have with the children.
It's not hard, just don't kiss them whether you think it is crazy or not.