RSV season warning in family chat

I agree RSV is serious but when was the last time any of us had it? It’s a childhood disease mainly.

I think short of avoiding all other children then making sure they have a good diet, being topped up on vitamin D and good handwashing is your best bet.

Nearly all children are infected this by the age of 2. Then they will build immunity.

It’s more serious in babies so the decision to be made there is whether you want a young baby in nursery over winter.

I can't believe the ignorance about RSV and the entitlement of some people about kissing children that aren't yours. No means no.

By all means end the relationship and don't see your nephews any more, that's your choice, but it's silly. If my SIL said "don't kiss my baby" (I wouldn't, because I'm aware of current NHS guidance) I'd be embarrassed I overstepped with her baby, say sorry and not do it again.

There is no one virus that is “the common cold”. Many viruses cause what we call a cold. And RSV (yes when mild) is one of them. Any virus that causes cold symptoms is a “cold”.

Just respect boundaries. You aren’t entitled to kiss kids or anyone. Assume some one has already but kids that age are snotty and grim anyway consider it a blessing

It’s not really the way to prevent it though is it? It’s more common in children so you’d need to avoid all nursery/soft play/ play dates. Not a kiss on the forehead from an Aunt who does not have RSV.

Having been in the awful position of being asked in the hospital “Is he baptised? If not is it something that would be important to you?” I think the more awareness parents have of RSV and its potential dangers the better. That includes taking sensible precautions which have no impact upon the child at all such as not having relatives kissing them.

Thankfully my son survived and is now 15, but the damage done to his lungs will be with him for his whole life.

I think the point is these children are surrounded by other ill children at nursery - sharing germs all day. That is the most likely place they will pick up RSV. Not from an Aunt who is not ill.

SIL is happy for kids to go to nursery and also for them to have sleepovers at OP’s when they are ill. She’s kind of focusing on the wrong things here.

OP is more likely to get ill from the children than vice versa.

I’d be questioning your SIL about whether she is okay and whether she needs help.

A parent wanting to reduce the risk of their child being seriously ill makes them mentally ill? Seriously?

Or it makes them a parent trying to minimise risk in what should be a very simple, non problematic way.

Why do you think she is mentally ill for wanting to avoid somethi which kills 30 children a year in the UK and puts another 30,000 in hospital?

My son caught RSV when he was about 18 months, it was awful, he was in hospital for a week. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And it not kissing babies is the way to prevent it, then it’s not that big a deal to me

She’s obviously mentally ill with anxiety or OCD or something similar.

I’d take her up on her offer not to see her for the winter.

I think there's a back story between her and SIL that OP isn't sharing and that this isn't the first time SIL has tried to impose boundaries. OP comes across as really entitled in how she talks about her nieces and nephews, like she has a special claim to them and can do whatever she pleases while they're in her care. Yet they are not her DC and if their parents want to impose boundaries for what they see as safeguarding issues, they absolutely can. Makes me wonder if SIL is tired of pushy aunt riding roughshod over her wishes and throwing her toys out the pram when she doesn't get her way...

I can't really see OP doing anything "calmly" given the current temper and style of her posts 😤

Agree. She just doesn't think folk should be kissing her children!

No she isn't - it's in your head (unless you, and you alone - of all the people in the world - are asked not to kiss her/your brother's children)

Spot on

RSV is not a common cold!

The mother asked everyone not to kiss the child. She didn't single out the OP who seems determined to flounce.

The rest of the family will be rolling their eyes.

No, asking people not to kiss baby/toddler DC is not implying anyone is ‘unclean’.

Are you being goady, OP?

My son gets grotesquely ill with coughs/ colds/ viruses all winter. But he also licks door handles in public bathrooms/ the windows on the bus/ random things he finds on the pavement. He’s far more likely to pick up something and give it to the adults in the family than the other way around. So I’ve never had a rule, it would be bonkers.

That said, it is miserable having a sick baby so I can see why someone would want to reduce the chance of this. I think her request is disproportionate though.

I've never kissed someone else's child. I don't want anyone, even relatives, kissing my children.

I'm not a germaphobe, quite the opposite. It's what builds their immune system. This will be part of why her kids are always ill I suppose. Mine have never been ill in their entire lives outside of very mild iterations of chicken pox or a quickly overcome virus.

DS1 was extremely premature and has had pneumonia twice. If he’d had RSV when he was very tiny, I don’t think he’d be here now.

DS2 isn’t immunocompromised in any way. Even he ended up on the children’s ward for a day with RSV. It really isn’t a standard cold.

Maybe it’s because my first was so vulnerable and I was subsequently terrified of germs for his whole childhood, but I genuinely don’t understand the need to kiss other people’s children.

I haven’t RTFT, but after looking at some of your responses, it would be best if you didn’t spend any time with your nieces + nephews, given your complete disregard for their health.

I have never insulted a poster on here before, but to sneer at a parent for wanting to protect their child, when countless people on here have told you that RSV resulted in their healthy child being putting on oxygen and feeding tubes, shows a wilful lack of compassion and an inability to see past your own perspective.