RSV season warning in family chat

This is something I'd implement if I had a new born because they aren't vaccinated but not a 4 and 15 month (unless not vaccinated), it's abit out there for her to act like that over a kiss on a hand/cheek, does she realize kids pass germs in school/nursery? Or day to day life?.

I work in a school kids do more than hold hands they sneeze in your face, on your hands, in each other's food of they don't cover their mouths I'm ill already with a cold virus and we only went back 2 weeks ago 😅, trust me a kiss on the hand/cheek by a family member is the least of her problems. But these are her children you should respect what she asking you not to do whether you find it bonkers she's just being protective over her kids.

Nah. Sounds to me like you waded in on her with both feet, like you did to posters on this thread, and shouted her into submission.

Well done you! Now you can continue to slobber over your nephews with impunity.

DS ended up in the paediatric ward with RSV at around your older nephews age. He was referred by our GP who was really alarmed when we took him in for an emergency appt. He isn’t immunocompromised, he was just so poorly with it. He couldn’t breathe and needed an inhaler (he’s not normally asthmatic). I would just respect her wishes honestly - how bad would you feel if you ignored them and they went on to be seriously poorly? There’s a reason RSV has just been added to the vaccination schedule.

I never understand these threads, where people come to ask if they're being unreasonable, only to be told they are, and then they double down on their views!? What is the point?

OP is batshit. I think the thread must be a joke

Does she maybe not realise these are airborne viruses? Direct contact is not necessary for transmission. Short of self isolating your entire family there is no hiding from viruses. They will pick up many many viruses during their childhood, mostly from other children.

Saying all that I'm not a huge fan of extended families planting kisses on children. The eldest is 4, maybe they don't want to be kissed? My brother used to force my clearly autistic nephew to kiss and cuddle my parents and it always made me uncomfortable. I remember being kissed by drunk older relatives at family parties and not wanting to be. At a certain age children are too old to be grabbed and kissed without consent.

LOL you’re hilarious…
‘she’s happy for them to make you sick?’ Really?? 😂
Christ you’re an adult and can advocate for yourself. If her kids are sick say you don’t want to meet up - she has to advocate for her kids because they can’t yet do so for themselves!
it absolutely does not matter what your opinion is about her wishes! They are her wishes and her children so show some bloody respect

Honestly I think you sound OTT!
instead of slagging off her wishes, respect them!
she doesn’t want her children getting sick, doesn’t want the sleepless nights and crying…. Trying to keep her kids healthy is not OTT….
i Never Kiss my niece and nephew … there’s no need… I play and cuddle with them, read to them etc… but there’s no need to slobber on them … I remember as a kid having an aunt who always kissed us kids, I also remember walking away thinking YUK & wiping it off!
why are people so obsessed with kissing kids?! Kiss your own but leave other people’s kids alone!
Also why come on here expecting everyone to join in and slag off your SIL? Then get all defensive when people point out you’re being unreasonable!

Pre-schoolers can get as many as 12 colds a year. Their immune systems are immature - adults and grown children are not. It's unreasonable to expect them to be kept away from nursery and these places as they'd be off more often than they are in!

It still doesn't make it ok to expect to go around kissing kids.

Snap! Navigating illnesses is horrendous. However unavoidable because she’s at school

And it doesn’t only affect the elderly or kids. I was 36 and I almost died.

You won’t necessarily know when a child has RSV either. So the OPs SIL could have sent her children to the OPs house with a “cold” that was actually RSV. Or just generally taken them out when they have a “cold” and passed it on to others. If someone wants to try their hardest to avoid catching a certain virus, especially one that can present with cold symptoms, they need to not take their children out with a cold either and pass that on. Because they could themselves be passing on RSV or Covid or even Flu.

No, the NHS is the one who says not to kiss young children or the elderly. She is not being silly.

Adults won't necessarily know they have RSV. It doesn't affect them the way it does children and the elderly. Why is that so hard to understand???

Because it’s not her child, and if the parents say don’t kiss my baby, then don’t kiss their baby.
also because RSV can kill people.

As a paediatric nurse - RSV can be like a common cold for adults but can be really dangerous for babies and toddlers (especially younger than 2). Children who are not immunocompromised can still absolutely be hospitalised with it and on oxygen/optiflow or even ventilated. We test for the virus and put RSV+ children away from RSV- children on the ward in order to quarantine as best we can as it can lead to more severe cases of bronchiolitis. We now offer vaccinations to pregnant women and babies for RSV as healthcare now identify it as such a risk.

Ultimately - her children = her decision

I’m not having a go. 🙄

Disagreeing with someone over them throwing a fit online because they are not allowed to kiss someone’s child and using it as an excuse to not watch them anymore is not having a go.

Regardless of who is being ridiculous only one of them is the parent.

I have had parents ask me not to do things I don’t particularly understand but I do them anyway because they are the parents.

It’s not difficult to not kiss a child. You don’t have to kiss a child to comfort them. Making a big deal out of not doing so is ridiculous, family or not.

What virus do you think causes a “cold”? You do know a “cold” is not any particular virus? When people refer to having a cold it is just a collection of symptoms that we call a cold. But no one knows what virus has caused it unless they have been tested in a hospital. And yes RSV is one of the viruses that can cause cold symptoms. As are coronaviruses. The most common one is rhinovirus but there are also adenoviruses and many others. In fact, in some people even influenza can appear as a “cold”.

And as we all know, some of the above viruses can be severe in some people - especially the young and old. I’m not arguing whether or not people should avoid kissing/passing on illnesses. I just get annoyed when people latch on to a particular virus (Covid/RSV) and say they want to avoid that virus but a “cold” is just fine. A cold is not any one virus. It’s possible the kids in the OP had RSV one of the times they had a “cold” and came round the OPs house. One of the “colds” could have been covid. Everyone seems to get panicked at possible illnesses yet when they have a “cold” they brush it off as only a cold. Not realising that “cold” could actually be serious to others.

Really? I wouldn’t. If she thinks she is being taken advantage of with baby sitting that is her issue, making it about RSV is childish - it’s a reasonable request.

If I have a cold I am worried about being around young children (which they are) and elderly people. So yes, I would be more cautious of passing things onto children and would therefore respect SIL request.

you are so angry
just refuse to have them if they are ill and don’t kiss them. Job done. A mother is aloud to put any rules she sees fit around the care of her children, even if you think it’s hypocritical
or of course you carry on doing you and run the risk of ruining a relationship with you DN’s just because you refuse to not kiss them. Surely seeing them and not kissing them is better than not seeing them at all?

Babysitters don't need to kiss other people's kids.

If you’re just seeing them then comply - however over protective.

Hiwever as you say you’re comforting them to sleep I think in that situation you have to say that you can’t or if she’s leaving them with you she can’t because you can’t meet their needs for comfort due to her rules.

Last year’s strain of RSV was immense. The hospitals were overwhelmed.

My nearly 3 year old ended up with an 8 day stay for RSV followed by a 6 day stay for a secondary chest infection from RSV.

He technically has a CLD diagnosis from breathing support when he was born, but there were a variety of children of different ages in there. He went from a 4 bed ward (all positive for RSV), to a 9 bed ward overnight, and there were more than 1 RSV wards for a couple of days.

i get that you think it’s ridiculous, but their mother has set a boundary taking into account either her children’s health or someone close to them’s health. Your feelings about it don’t really matter. You need to decide whether you want to see them or not.

Also, you say they are not immunocompromised/ do not have any underlying illnesses. But you also say “they are the ones always ill” which explains why your SIL is concerned!

Literally no one has suggested it's not limited to that, but you are 100% the one making this weird by defending this so vehemently