Page 15 | RSV season warning in family chat

ButSheSaid · 11/09/2025 18:04

Yeah, I can't relate to wanting to kiss people's kids at all. Especially ones infected with viruses.
The RSV could be just a good excuse to stop people doing this.

MrsBobtonTrent · 11/09/2025 18:04

Whatever the reason and whatever you think about it, a child's parent has asked you not to do something that is not really any great hardship. So just do as she asks and stop mithering about it?

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AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:03

Ella31 · 11/09/2025 18:02

You are actually been given misinformation by that previous poster. It is considered serious for young children because it the main leading cause of bronchiolitis and pneumonia in young children. Not all children obviously get seriously ill but no one wants to be the parent of the child that does.

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Then she should also stop letting her kids be around us when they’re sick? Or is that just not that important?

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Original poster

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:03

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:59

Is it really about the bugs or is there more to it?
Folk other than parents don't really need to be kisding kids - a hug is plenty (if child ok with that).

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I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate here but when I say kiss it’s limited to the forehead or cheek. Stop trying to make it weird.

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Ella31 · 11/09/2025 18:02

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:33

I didn’t know that!

Maybe I’ll send a warning back saying that I won’t be seeing them now until April because they’re always giving me colds!

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You are actually been given misinformation by that previous poster. It is considered serious for young children because it the main leading cause of bronchiolitis and pneumonia in young children. Not all children obviously get seriously ill but no one wants to be the parent of the child that does.

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:59

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:57

I’d get it if this was a thing every year, but it’s sudden this year. I think that she’s being OTT, especially over a cold. It would be different if she was this hesitant when they’re poorly, but she’s happy for them to get me sick!

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Is it really about the bugs or is there more to it?
Folk other than parents don't really need to be kisding kids - a hug is plenty (if child ok with that).

Original poster

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:57

Sirzy · 11/09/2025 17:55

Until they aren’t.

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I’d get it if this was a thing every year, but it’s sudden this year. I think that she’s being OTT, especially over a cold. It would be different if she was this hesitant when they’re poorly, but she’s happy for them to get me sick!

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GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:56

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:54

It absolutely is OTT, the boys are fine.

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It is not up to you to decide what's OTT for someone else's children. Your reaction is OTT though - you do not need to kiss the children!

Sirzy · 11/09/2025 17:55

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:54

It absolutely is OTT, the boys are fine.

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Until they aren’t.

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AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:54

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:53

It's not OTT.
Nobody needs to kiss a child, even to comfort them.
Perhaps you someone is kissing too much.

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It absolutely is OTT, the boys are fine.

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GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:53

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:51

Even those are banned. No forehead kisses, no cheek kisses, she’s even said nothing like blowing raspberries on them 🥴 it’s all a bit OTT.

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It's not OTT.
Nobody needs to kiss a child, even to comfort them.
Perhaps you someone is kissing too much.

Original poster

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:51

autienotnaughty · 11/09/2025 17:49

Sound like you have just saved your self a season of illness as they are more likely to pass stuff on!
I tend to go for a kiss on the top of the head with my niece and nephew

Even those are banned. No forehead kisses, no cheek kisses, she’s even said nothing like blowing raspberries on them 🥴 it’s all a bit OTT.

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Groundhogday2025 · 11/09/2025 17:50

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:45

I get on with her really well, I just find this so strange. Fair enough if they were little but they’re both pretty old for this to suddenly be a rule!

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Like I say, maybe something has happened that you don’t know about. She’s not pulling this from nowhere, even if it’s something she’s seen or read somewhere. But conversely, not kissing them doesn’t really impact you in anyway does it?

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:50

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:49

Because I’m not some heartless cow that’s going to turn away her nephews when they want a hug and a kiss?

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I'm not a 'heartless cow' either, but never felt the need to kiss other people's kids, even my nieces and nephews. Hugs were sufficient.

Sirzy · 11/09/2025 17:49

Ds first hospital admission was when he caught RSV. He was lucky to leave hospital at all.

Even if you believe she is being a bit OTT does it matter? What impact is it going to have on you really?

autienotnaughty · 11/09/2025 17:49

Sound like you have just saved your self a season of illness as they are more likely to pass stuff on!
I tend to go for a kiss on the top of the head with my niece and nephew

Original poster

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:49

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:48

Why do you need to kiss them?

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Because I’m not some heartless cow that’s going to turn away her nephews when they want a hug and a kiss?

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GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 17:48

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:28

My SIL has today shared a “warning” in our family group chat to say we are no longer allowed to kiss my nephews (even on the HAND!), because of “RSV season”. The boys are 4 and 15 months. AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous, especially given the fact they’re the ones who are always poorly?! She’s said if any of us kiss them we won’t be seeing them for the rest of winter!

Why do you need to kiss them?

Original poster

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:48

Allthefruit · 11/09/2025 17:47

4 is little.
My son was in ICU and nearly died from RSV when he was 4

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4 is not that little though, is it?

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Allthefruit · 11/09/2025 17:47

And nearly all the children in ICU at that point (late October) were also desperately ill with RSV

Allthefruit · 11/09/2025 17:47

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:45

I get on with her really well, I just find this so strange. Fair enough if they were little but they’re both pretty old for this to suddenly be a rule!

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4 is little.
My son was in ICU and nearly died from RSV when he was 4

Original poster

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:45

Groundhogday2025 · 11/09/2025 17:43

Her children, her parenting decisions at the end of the day, and not really any of your business. You might make different choices for your own but it’s important to respect other people’s choices.
If it’s important to her you need to respect that, the way you’d expect something important to you to be respected.
Also don’t forget to have compassion, her choices are informed by her own personal experiences. Maybe she’s had a friend who’s had a very poorly child from RSV (there’s a reason pregnant women are vaccinated now, it can be very serious). One of my friends had a baby born who needed a stay in NICU for his breathing at birth and she’s obviously more sensitive about things like kissing as a result. I respect that. It was a traumatic time for her. My point is, be kind and don’t judge. You don’t know what’s informing her decisions and they could be very valid.
I also can’t imagine getting so het up about such a non-issue to go SIL bashing on the internet. Is this really about the no-kissing rule or do you just not like her?

I get on with her really well, I just find this so strange. Fair enough if they were little but they’re both pretty old for this to suddenly be a rule!

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BuffaloCauliflower · 11/09/2025 17:45

RSV is not the same as the common cold, although mild RSV looks similar. A friends child was in ICU with RSV a few years ago, they’re now vaccinating pregnant women against it as it can be so serious for small kids, my DC was in the vaccine trial. Valid to be careful about it if you can, of course it’s hard to avoid respiratory viruses but not kissing a toddler sounds fair enough

Original poster

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:44

Bitzee · 11/09/2025 17:43

She sounds batshit. RSV can be dangerous for newborns and immunocompromised but to everyone else it’s just your run of the mill common cold. The type that her DC will have for most of winter if they’re in school/nursery which must be the 4YO even if the toddler is still at home. I’d be including to call her bluff and next time she asks you to babysit but they’ve got even the slightest of sniffles say no because RSV and be all panicked.

They’re both in nursery, both very hardy and bounce back from any cold quickly which is why I just don’t get it!

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Original poster

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:44

PurplePastaBake · 11/09/2025 17:40

Just don’t kiss them, it’s not hard not to kiss other peoples children?
My son was hospitalised with RSV due to a selfish relative deciding to kiss him when she had been asked not to. Not immunocompromised and no underlying health conditions. RSV can and does kill. If you love the child enough to be seeing them, surely you love them enough to want to minimise any risk to them?

I just find it massively hypocritical when she is happy to send them to me when they’re poorly!

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