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Original poster

RSV season warning in family chat

393 replies

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:28

My SIL has today shared a “warning” in our family group chat to say we are no longer allowed to kiss my nephews (even on the HAND!), because of “RSV season”. The boys are 4 and 15 months. AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous, especially given the fact they’re the ones who are always poorly?! She’s said if any of us kiss them we won’t be seeing them for the rest of winter!

OP posts:
Mildandcreamyricotta · 11/09/2025 18:59

Is she pregnant herself again?

GleisZwei · 11/09/2025 18:59

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:03

I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate here but when I say kiss it’s limited to the forehead or cheek. Stop trying to make it weird.

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I'm not making anything weird.
Why do you need to kiss them?

Original poster
AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:57

ShesTheAlbatross · 11/09/2025 18:52

I wouldn’t be doing that! “Sorry, don’t want to catch their bugs!” is a very reasonable response regardless of her nonsense. Why can’t she look after her own sick kids??

Is the four year old at school? Or nursery? If so, they’re probably basically licking each other, so I don’t think a kiss on the top of the head from an adult is going to be the biggest source of bugs.

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Both kids in nursery. The youngest will pick anything. But yea, I’m the one who’s going to make them sick!

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 11/09/2025 18:55

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 11/09/2025 18:24

Another bat shit "mother". What does her DH/DP have to say about this?

Ok fine, we can't see them for the rest of the winter. Don't expect any Christmas presents, or even contact from us then.
Silly girl. She will look back on this and be embarrassed in 10 years time.

I'm inclined to agree with this.

What a sad way for them to live their lives, cutting off loving family.

Pearlsanddiamondz · 11/09/2025 18:54

Are you a parent OP?

ShesTheAlbatross · 11/09/2025 18:52

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:44

I just find it massively hypocritical when she is happy to send them to me when they’re poorly!

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I wouldn’t be doing that! “Sorry, don’t want to catch their bugs!” is a very reasonable response regardless of her nonsense. Why can’t she look after her own sick kids??

Is the four year old at school? Or nursery? If so, they’re probably basically licking each other, so I don’t think a kiss on the top of the head from an adult is going to be the biggest source of bugs.

Original poster
AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:50

Sirzy · 11/09/2025 18:48

So your going to stop seeing them over not being able to give them a kiss and she is the one being OTT?

If she views me as such a biohazard, yes.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 11/09/2025 18:48

So your going to stop seeing them over not being able to give them a kiss and she is the one being OTT?

Original poster
AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:44

Ncforthiscms · 11/09/2025 18:35

Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is a common cause of coughs and colds. It can lead to bronchiolitis which can be serious.
Advice nowadays is not to kiss babies unless you're the primary caregiver.
Perhaps your sil has been warned by the HV or GP and is a bit panicked.

That said, I would be saying yeah no worries but please dont send them around with a cough/cold so that germs arent circulating around tye family.

Fair enough both ways i think.

I’ve sent a message to say that if this is how it’ll be, I’ll no longer be babysitting or seeing them

OP posts:
IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 11/09/2025 18:35

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:26

He’s not said anything, yet.

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Course he hasn't. She clearly holds all the cards in that household.

Ncforthiscms · 11/09/2025 18:35

Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is a common cause of coughs and colds. It can lead to bronchiolitis which can be serious.
Advice nowadays is not to kiss babies unless you're the primary caregiver.
Perhaps your sil has been warned by the HV or GP and is a bit panicked.

That said, I would be saying yeah no worries but please dont send them around with a cough/cold so that germs arent circulating around tye family.

Fair enough both ways i think.

Original poster
AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:26

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 11/09/2025 18:24

Another bat shit "mother". What does her DH/DP have to say about this?

Ok fine, we can't see them for the rest of the winter. Don't expect any Christmas presents, or even contact from us then.
Silly girl. She will look back on this and be embarrassed in 10 years time.

He’s not said anything, yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:25

sleepandcoffee · 11/09/2025 18:23

I had a very very poorly baby with rsv but as soon as he was over 1 I wasnt as concerned - he licks everything he comes into contact with 🤷🏼‍♀️

He’s literally picked cat food out of the bowl before! It’s just baffling

OP posts:
IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 11/09/2025 18:24

Another bat shit "mother". What does her DH/DP have to say about this?

Ok fine, we can't see them for the rest of the winter. Don't expect any Christmas presents, or even contact from us then.
Silly girl. She will look back on this and be embarrassed in 10 years time.

sleepandcoffee · 11/09/2025 18:23

I had a very very poorly baby with rsv but as soon as he was over 1 I wasnt as concerned - he licks everything he comes into contact with 🤷🏼‍♀️

CinnamonBuns67 · 11/09/2025 18:21

At 4 and 15 months they are still of an age where they can be seriously affected by it, especially the 15 month old. They are ultimately her and her partners children and it is their choice, and their choices even if not agreed with needs to be respected. You can refuse to take them when they are poorly, that's entirely your choice.

Teachingagain · 11/09/2025 18:15

It also puts over 30,000 under 5s in hospital every year.

Ella31 · 11/09/2025 18:13

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:06

I’m obviously sorry for her experience but I don’t think it’s representative. Especially when they got colds a million times a year and are fine (and spread them around!£. If she kept her kids off nursery etc when they were sick I’d see where she’s coming from. But she doesn’t.

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I'm sorry but she literally wrote that her child nearly died in from rsv and your only response was "4 isn't that little"

And it is relevant. Rsv can seriously effect children up to 4 years old. Her child was 4. Your relatives children are very young. Just respect her wishes and dont have them over when they are sick.

Teachingagain · 11/09/2025 18:13

WhereAreMyAirpods · 11/09/2025 17:32

Your SIL sounds like a bundle of laughs. Some people just can't cope with the idea of any sort of illness. RSV is the common cold.

RSV isn’t the same as the common cold. In most people it’s like a mild cold but it’s a different virus and it’s the cause of death of between 15 to 20 infants a year in the UK.

Original poster
AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:09

ColinVsCuthbert · 11/09/2025 18:07

My DD got RSV at around age 14 months and couldn't breathe, ended up in hospital with bronchiolitis which resulted in asthma which still impacts her today. I think there is a fine line to walk between exposure to germs to build resistance (all children get sick IMO, the ones who haven't been exposed to a lot by school age spend the first year with constant illnesses), and vaccinate against illnesses. Your SIL can't pay for the RSV vaccine, but can for the flu for littles, so if she is that worried, she should do that if she can which maybe can alleviate the issue. In general, sure, no kissing if that makes her happy.

Then she also needs to stop sending them to me when they’re sick? It’s a two way street and given how little she cares for us, I find her request ridiculous.

OP posts:
ColinVsCuthbert · 11/09/2025 18:07

My DD got RSV at around age 14 months and couldn't breathe, ended up in hospital with bronchiolitis which resulted in asthma which still impacts her today. I think there is a fine line to walk between exposure to germs to build resistance (all children get sick IMO, the ones who haven't been exposed to a lot by school age spend the first year with constant illnesses), and vaccinate against illnesses. Your SIL can't pay for the RSV vaccine, but can for the flu for littles, so if she is that worried, she should do that if she can which maybe can alleviate the issue. In general, sure, no kissing if that makes her happy.

Original poster
AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:06

Ella31 · 11/09/2025 18:05

Is that the only thing you could reply to the poster who shared this with you? Jesus christ.

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I’m obviously sorry for her experience but I don’t think it’s representative. Especially when they got colds a million times a year and are fine (and spread them around!£. If she kept her kids off nursery etc when they were sick I’d see where she’s coming from. But she doesn’t.

OP posts:
Ella31 · 11/09/2025 18:06

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 18:03

Then she should also stop letting her kids be around us when they’re sick? Or is that just not that important?

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But dont let them in. Just as she parents her kids, parent yours. You can say no when they rock up. Just like she's telling you no kissing.

Januaryblues25 · 11/09/2025 18:05

Our normally very healthy eldest was also hospitalised age 3 with RSV requiring oxygen by nasal cannulas for several days, so agree with others that it can cause serious illness in kids even when they are not teeny tiny or immunocompromised. I wouldn’t go so far as asking relatives not to kiss the kids as I believe nursery is a much bigger risk of exposure but it’s not unreasonable for her to be concerned. Is it such a big deal not to kiss them when you can still hug etc? And fair enough to request you don’t blow raspberries at them - that seems even worse than kissing for spraying germs everywhere!

Ella31 · 11/09/2025 18:05

AutumnIsHereAnd · 11/09/2025 17:48

4 is not that little though, is it?

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Is that the only thing you could reply to the poster who shared this with you? Jesus christ.

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